Health and Fitness Club

Less · 20-12-2005, 23:12

O.K. then you podgies, I've seen the gap in the accyweb market and I have decided to give you all a chance to regain your pert little (Ha! excuse me while I laugh), figures.

Yes for a signing on fee (payable in advance), that will be negotiated at the time you step onto my flabfinder(c) scales. Please note no refunds, if your too lazy to stick to my flabfinder(c) diet I don't see why I should be penalised!

So come on down to my flabfinder(c) Health and Fitness Club situated on the third floor above the calm room (If the stairs don't make you sweat the bill will).

Yes, just come on down and try to find your ideal piece of exercise equipment, (I'll be surprised if you do because e-bay just cancelled my account so the equipment I bid on is unlikely to arrive, looks like we'll be concentrating on press up's and bunny hops!).

When you arrive you will be assigned your own personal trainer If we can borrow T.C.'s stairlift to get Mick up there!

Don't delay join today and let less and his exclusive flabfinder(c) course relieve you of those excess pounds that fall out of your pockets as you exercise your way to the dreamy youth of yesteryear!

(private Medical insurance is recommended as the NHS doesn't do call outs to self inflicted injuries!).

harwood red · 20-12-2005, 23:16

I'm stuck on the 2nd floor, can't fit through that doorway that leads to the 3rd floor staircase!!!

Less · 20-12-2005, 23:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by harwood red

I'm stuck on the 2nd floor, can't fit through that doorway that leads to the 3rd floor staircase!!!

Just put a bit of weight behind it girl!
I think you'll find the door-frame is only held on with 'No Nails' so it won't take much to remove the whole wall! (and yes from this angle your bum does look big in that doorway!).

garinda · 20-12-2005, 23:25

Could I take one of the classes?

I could teach 'shake yourself fit', and see those pounds drop, right into your pocket of course.

Less · 20-12-2005, 23:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by garinda

Could I take one of the classes?

I could teach 'shake yourself fit', and see those pounds drop, right into your pocket of course.

Nobody does it better!

As the song goes, but first you'll have to give me a lift clearing the blockage up to the third floor, I hope you've had a packet of weetabix for breakfast this looks a bad 'un!

harwood red · 20-12-2005, 23:42

Ow Less, did you have to grab my ar*e like that???

Right I'm clear now, but too knackered to go any further, did someone mention a stairlift???

Less · 20-12-2005, 23:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by harwood red

Ow Less, did you have to grab my ar*e like that???

Right I'm clear now, but too knackered to go any further, did someone mention a stairlift???

It wasn't me that grabbed your ar*e it was my over willing helper, he was practicing his exercises, did you pick up any good vibrations while he was there?

As for the stair lift, Micks only got as far as the first floor when he was bringing it up, but we feel optimistic that it will be fitted before he has to go back to hospital, (let's face it he could have carried it to the moon and back during the time they've kept him waiting!).

harwood red · 21-12-2005, 00:14

I'll have you know it wasn't garinda, he was watching mick balance the stairlift!!! Stop trying to get out of that one... hey why the donuts, thought this was a fitness club???

Less · 21-12-2005, 00:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by harwood red

I'll have you know it wasn't garinda, he was watching mick balance the stairlift!!! Stop trying to get out of that one... hey why the donuts, thought this was a fitness club???

From were I was standing I was lucky I didn't fall in! If rindy's hand hadn't got in the way I just don't know where I might have ended up.

As for the donuts they aren't for you to eat, I have a part time job for the local baker putting the holes in, it's a shame really, if the tool I'm using was twice as long I'd probably be able to do two at once!