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Old 06-02-2016, 16:15   #1
Grand Wizard Of The Inner Clique
 
Less's Avatar
How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

1/ Decide you would like to have poached eggs for a change.

2/Use a well tested recipe for doing them in a micro-wave i.e. bung a couple of eggs in a mug cover with water then place a saucer on top. Believe me, the eggs get poached to perfection...



...normally!

3/ Press the button for 1min on full power.

4/ check after the beep to find that the eggs are only half cooked.

5/Ignore the fact that this is strange and press for another minute.

6/Rush into the kitchen when you hear a muffled explosion.

7/ switch off micro-wave and check contents.

8/ discover a saucer split in half and egg plastered in every conceivable corner of the oven.

9/ stick fingers around the bigger bits before they cool and congeal to the oven.

10/ Eat whilst still warm by sucking fingers.

11/Look at the mess and decide, today is Saturday, this mess can wait until Sunday to be cleaned up.

12/Don't forget to let everyone else know what has happened, maybe, just, maybe you will get some sympathy.

13/ (Unlucky for some), don't hold your breath, sympathy is a scarce element amongst the folk you know.

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Old 06-02-2016, 16:37   #2
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Oh Less, it is easy to poach eggs in a pan.
I know you might have to wait a bit longer, but they turn out very nicely. You can also get poaching pods which mean that the washing up is reduced.......and the eggs never stick to these pods.
Spray the inside of the microwave with soapy water,leave it overnight........this should make the cleaning up a bit easier.
Sorry your poached eggs were such a mess.
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Old 06-02-2016, 16:38   #3
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Quote:
Originally Posted by Less View Post
12/Don't forget to let everyone else know what has happened, maybe, just, maybe you will get some sympathy.
Sympathy, really? On here, with this crowd? Mind you, you'll get "Schadenfreude" by the bucket!
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Old 06-02-2016, 16:40   #4
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

He didn't want a bucket of schadenfreude....he just wanted a poached egg to dip his soldiers into
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Old 06-02-2016, 16:48   #5
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Well if there's no dippy egg, they've probably gone AWOL, by now!
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Old 06-02-2016, 16:49   #6
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

I'm glad there's a step 13.
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Old 06-02-2016, 17:02   #7
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

It's times like this I miss having a wife about the place, because I could have closed the door and left it for her to discover, then, as she screams hysterically about the state of the oven, I could say, "Oh yeah I had a slight mishap and forgot".

Then run like mad for the door, leaving the house for six hours knowing she would clean it up while she's cursing 'that useless swine' that can't look after himself.
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Old 06-02-2016, 17:20   #8
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Perhaps better to stick to a pan in future Less. I like them done with some vinegar in the water. I have tried the microwave but I didn't cover the cup. Worked ok. Good luck next time.
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Old 06-02-2016, 17:30   #9
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Quote:
Originally Posted by Less View Post
leaving the house for six hours knowing she would clean it up while she's cursing 'that useless swine' that can't look after himself.
that would be me.....I would fizz and fume, but I would have to clean it up.
A bit like my other half juggling with melted candle wax and spreading it all over the carpet. He whistled tunelessly and nonchalantly while watching me try to get it out of the carpet.......and said something like 'it's not the end of the world'.....well, it damn nearly was.....for him!
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Old 06-02-2016, 17:41   #10
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/b...h-trouble.html

This is the blog record of that event.
The carpet was discarded last December.....we now have varnished boards.....but I bought rugs.
We got the rugs on the first of March and by the third of March he had singed the living room rug by letting hot embers fall out of the wood burner......so not much has changed.
__________________
The world will not be destroyed by evil people...
It will be destroyed by those who stand by and do Nothing.
(a paraphrase on a quote by Albert Einstein)
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Old 07-02-2016, 11:33   #11
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

I think I've worked out what happened to cause the bang.
As I said I've used this method before and all turned out well. I think what caused this was that the eggs I was using were very large so when I removed the saucer to check and found them only half cooked back went the saucer which due to the heat of the water would have condensation on it making a seal around the mug turning the whole thing into a pressure cooker with no vent.

Now if I can just turn my mind to cleaning up I can try again and prove the theory.
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Old 07-02-2016, 11:39   #12
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Quote:
Originally Posted by Less View Post
It's times like this I miss having a wife about the place, because I could have closed the door and left it for her to discover, then, as she screams hysterically about the state of the oven, I could say, "Oh yeah I had a slight mishap and forgot".

Then run like mad for the door, leaving the house for six hours knowing she would clean it up while she's cursing 'that useless swine' that can't look after himself.
I've not been feeling too well these last few days, so thanks for this which made me chuckle! Why have I not been feeling well? Here goes...

Mikey's Top Tips

If you're going to faint, try to select a soft landing area. The bathroom is not recommended as you will finish up breaking your glasses and nose. The glasses will also cut you under your eye. As you continue your fall to the ground you will also bang your hip and finger, causing you to exclaim: "Oh my gosh!"

Second Tip

When you finally get to your feet, DO NOT faint again in the same location. Otherwise you will exclaim: "Oh no! Not again!"
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Old 07-02-2016, 11:52   #13
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Oh, Michael......sorry to hear that you have not been well. I hope these tips were not formulated as the result of experience.
(sorry...just re read it and they were....how horrible for you)
Look after yourself and I hope you are soon feeling a lot better.
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__________________
The world will not be destroyed by evil people...
It will be destroyed by those who stand by and do Nothing.
(a paraphrase on a quote by Albert Einstein)

Last edited by Margaret Pilkington; 07-02-2016 at 11:53. Reason: a 'doh' moment.
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Old 07-02-2016, 11:59   #14
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael1954 View Post
"Oh no! Not again!"
Seems like you and a bowl of petunias have a great deal in common!

Quote by Douglas Adams: ?Curiously enough, the only thing that went thro...?
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Old 07-02-2016, 13:19   #15
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Re: How To Re-Decorate A Micro-Wave Oven

imself went into town today and came back with a microwave egg cooker...he paid the princely sum of 50 pence for this
__________________
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It will be destroyed by those who stand by and do Nothing.
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