In an ideal world

[rick-kendall]

Don't know if you have seen this before but here goes it anyway!!!




The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays guitar all summer, come winter the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION. The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays guitar all summer, come winter the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper and calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while the others less fortunate, like the grasshopper are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, which cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper has to suffer while others have plenty. The labour party, green peace, animal rights and the grasshopper council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel’s house.

The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, Ken Livingston rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich of the back of grasshoppers. And calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay “his fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter London.

In response to pressure from the media, the government drafts the, economic equity and grasshopper anti discrimination act, retrospective to the beginning of summer; the squirrel’s taxes are reassessed. he is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper didn’t want to work !

The grasshopper is provided with a council house financial aid to furnish it, and an account with a local taxi firm, to make sure he is socially mobile .the squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money to buy food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retrospective taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.

the local authority takes over his old home and utilises it for temporary home for asylum seeking cats who hijacked a plane to get to Britain .as they had to share there country of origin with mice .on arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain’s apparent love of dogs .

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing, but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon while in custody. Initial move to then return them to there own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by mice .the cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrels food. though the spring is still months away ,while the council house he’s in , crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house .he is shown to be tacking drugs , inadequate government funding is to blamed for the grasshopper drug " illness" .

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for there treatment since arrival in the UK.
the grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drug habit, he is imprisoned but released immediately, because he has been in custody for a few weeks, he is placed in care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him, within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry that will eventually cost £ 10,000,000 and state he obviously, is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for the lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain’s multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of an overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of the government to address the root cause of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for a resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid a million pounds each because there rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom.

the squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking , the bombing ,the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on there credit cards to cover losses , their taxes are increased to pay for law and order , and they are told they have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.


THE END

[jedimaster]

very good i like that one

[rick-kendall]

i usually hate this kinda thing but this was worth passing on :thumb:

[rick-kendall]

damn no thumb smiley grrrr

[AccyJay]

That about sums it up really.