Jewish Mothers

[West Ender]

Mona Lisa's Jewish mother:

'After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile.'

Christoper Colombus' Jewish mother:

' I don't care what you discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write.'

Michelangelo's Jewish mother:

'A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children. Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?'

Napoleon's Jewish mother:

'You're not hiding your report card. Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show me.'

Abraham Lincoln's Jewish mother:

'Again, with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?'

George Washington's Jewish mother:

'Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye.'

Thomas Edison's Jewish mother:

'Okay, I'm so proud of you that you invented the light bulb. Now turn it off and go to sleep.'

Paul Revere's Jewish mother:

'I don't care where you think you have to go young man, midnight is long past your bedtime.'

Albert Einstein's Jewish mother:

'Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair.'

Moses' Jewish mother:

'Desert, schmesert, where have you really been for the last 40 years?'

Bill Gates' Jewish mother:

'It would have killed you to become a doctor?'