Joke Of The Day - Page 100

claytonx · 11-11-2011, 13:59

19 paddies go to the cinema,the ticket lady asks"Why so many of you?"

Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."

claytonx · 12-11-2011, 18:43

Murphy says to Paddy "What ya talkin to an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail ya thick sod!"

claytonx · 15-11-2011, 17:05

"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I'm on the way to the doctor--i don't like the look of my wife
"Oh! Then I'll come with you-- I hate the sight of mine too."

"Do you come here often?"
"I'm your wife stupid!"

"Measles"
"That's a rash thing to say"

"I didn't come here to be insulted"
"Why--where do you normally go?"

"Do you ever talk to your wife when making love?"
"Only if she telephones"

"My mother made me a homosexual"
"If I sent her the wool,would she make me one too?"

"Do you smoke after making love?"
"I don't know,I've never looked."

"Understand you buried you wife last week?"
"Had to.....dead,you know."

"Mummy,there's a man with a bill at the door."
"Don't be silly,dear.It must be a duck with a hat on."

"Well,how do you find yourself these cold,winter mornings?"
"Oh,I just throw back the blankets and there I am."

claytonx · 16-11-2011, 16:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by claytonx

"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I'm on the way to the doctor--i don't like the look of my wife
"Oh! Then I'll come with you-- I hate the sight of mine too."

"Do you come here often?"
"I'm your wife stupid!"

"Measles"
"That's a rash thing to say"

"I didn't come here to be insulted"
"Why--where do you normally go?"

"Do you ever talk to your wife when making love?"
"Only if she telephones"

"My mother made me a homosexual"
"If I sent her the wool,would she make me one too?"

"Do you smoke after making love?"
"I don't know,I've never looked."

"Understand you buried you wife last week?"
"Had to.....dead,you know."

"Mummy,there's a man with a bill at the door."
"Don't be silly,dear.It must be a duck with a hat on."

"Well,how do you find yourself these cold,winter mornings?"
"Oh,I just throw back the blankets and there I am."

I think it would be nice If a comment was posted ie Rubbish, Made me laugh,been posted before,Loved it

mobertol · 16-11-2011, 16:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by claytonx

I think it would be nice If a comment was posted ie Rubbish, Made me laugh,been posted before,Loved it

You're right, i usually just read and have a chuckle -keep 'em coming Claytonx

Retlaw · 16-11-2011, 18:03

After a visit to a house of ill repute a man notices green lumps on his willy,
so he goes to the doctors.

"That's serious" says the doctor. "You've heard that some boxers get cauliflower ears?"

"Yes" says the man seriously.

"Well" says the doctor,
"You've got brothel sprouts."

claytonx · 16-11-2011, 18:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retlaw

After a visit to a house of ill repute a man notices green lumps on his willy,
so he goes to the doctors.

"That's serious" says the doctor. "You've heard that some boxers get cauliflower ears?"

"Yes" says the man seriously.

"Well" says the doctor,
"You've got brothel sprouts."

Retlaw I have (had) that for future more the merrier

claytonx · 17-11-2011, 11:41

"What do virgins eat for breakfast?"

"I don't know"

"Huh! Just as I thought."

"Will the band play anything I request?"
"Certainly,sir"
"Then tell them to play dominoes"

claytonx · 17-11-2011, 17:38

Are the jokes not funny enough or not sexy enough

MargaretR · 17-11-2011, 17:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by claytonx

Are the jokes not funny enough or not sexy enough

Just in the wrong place
http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/f...-day-2647.html

claytonx · 17-11-2011, 18:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

Just in the wrong place
http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/f...-day-2647.html

Sorry Margaret don't know what you mean (they are in anything goes)

MargaretR · 17-11-2011, 19:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by claytonx

Sorry Margaret don't know what you mean (they are in anything goes)

You should have added it to the thread already there.

claytonx · 17-11-2011, 19:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

You should have added it to the thread already there.

Right now I understand just learning

Mick · 18-11-2011, 05:41

I have merged the threads

claytonx · 18-11-2011, 11:31

"But Henry,it isn't our baby."
"Shut up--it's a better pram."

Woman, peering into a pram: "Isn't your baby small?"
Mother:"Well,I have only been married three months".

A young man was loudly lamenting to everyone in the bar
that is doctor had ordered him to give up haif is sex life.
"Which half are you going to give up?"asked a bored listener.
"Talking about it--- or thinking about it?"