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Welcome to Accrington Web! We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today! |
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11-11-2011, 13:59
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#1486 |
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Rest in Peace
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke Of The Day
19 paddies go to the cinema,the ticket lady asks"Why so many of you?"
Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over." |
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12-11-2011, 18:43
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#1487 |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke Of The Day
Murphy says to Paddy "What ya talkin to an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voicemail ya thick sod!" |
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15-11-2011, 17:05
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#1488 |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke Of The Day
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I'm on the way to the doctor--i don't like the look of my wife "Oh! Then I'll come with you-- I hate the sight of mine too." "Do you come here often?" "I'm your wife stupid!" "Measles" "That's a rash thing to say" "I didn't come here to be insulted" "Why--where do you normally go?" "Do you ever talk to your wife when making love?" "Only if she telephones" "My mother made me a homosexual" "If I sent her the wool,would she make me one too?" "Do you smoke after making love?" "I don't know,I've never looked." "Understand you buried you wife last week?" "Had to.....dead,you know." "Mummy,there's a man with a bill at the door." "Don't be silly,dear.It must be a duck with a hat on." "Well,how do you find yourself these cold,winter mornings?" "Oh,I just throw back the blankets and there I am." |
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16-11-2011, 16:40
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#1489 | |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke Of The Day
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16-11-2011, 16:46
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#1490 | |
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God Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern Italy
Posts: 4,419
Liked: 1866 times
Rep Power: 26228
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Re: Joke Of The Day
Quote:
__________________
“Beauty is an experience, nothing else. It is not a fixed pattern or an arrangement of features. It is something felt, a glow or a communicated sense of fineness.” ~ D. H. Lawrence |
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16-11-2011, 18:03
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#1491 |
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I am Banned
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Accrington.
Posts: 4,627
Liked: 601 times
Rep Power: 0
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Re: Joke Of The Day
After a visit to a house of ill repute a man notices green lumps on his willy,
so he goes to the doctors. "That's serious" says the doctor. "You've heard that some boxers get cauliflower ears?" "Yes" says the man seriously. "Well" says the doctor, "You've got brothel sprouts." |
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16-11-2011, 18:50
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#1492 | |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke Of The Day
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17-11-2011, 11:41
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#1493 |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Joke of the day
"What do virgins eat for breakfast?"
"I don't know" "Huh! Just as I thought." "Will the band play anything I request?" "Certainly,sir" "Then tell them to play dominoes" |
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17-11-2011, 17:38
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#1494 |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke of the day
Are the jokes not funny enough or not sexy enough
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17-11-2011, 17:58
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#1495 | |
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God Member
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Re: Joke of the day
Quote:
http://www.accringtonweb.com/forum/f...-day-2647.html
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17-11-2011, 18:36
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#1496 | |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke of the day
Quote:
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17-11-2011, 19:04
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#1497 | |
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God Member
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Re: Joke of the day
Quote:
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17-11-2011, 19:16
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#1498 | |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke of the day
Quote:
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18-11-2011, 11:31
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#1500 |
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Rest in Peace
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 512
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 48969
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Re: Joke Of The Day
"But Henry,it isn't our baby."
"Shut up--it's a better pram." Woman, peering into a pram: "Isn't your baby small?" Mother:"Well,I have only been married three months". A young man was loudly lamenting to everyone in the bar that is doctor had ordered him to give up haif is sex life. "Which half are you going to give up?"asked a bored listener. "Talking about it--- or thinking about it?" |
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