Mutton Dressed As Lamb?

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So here we are again, out and about in Accy, not many folk about (must be the horse flu no racing, nothing for punters to talk about).
In walks a woman low cut everything! T-shirt, jeans, midriff on show with the inevitable cheap gold belly button ring and stood on stilts o.k. not stilts, stilettos she's one of those look at me aren't I gorgeous? But don't look at me if your an older bloke.

Must admit it was like being in Asda not quite past its sell by date but do I really need it just because it's cut price?
Anyhow she's stood between the T.V. and where an older guy is sitting, he's been sitting in that spot for as long as I can remember watches the box (usually racing today some daytime prog) has a few pints then wends his merry way home.
She starts to get a little agitated because when she looks around the room hoping she's been noticed she sees him looking in her direction and is loudly telling her friends.
I start paying attention, this could be leading somewhere, yep, after a few more shorts she gets fixated by him and challenges him.
Are you looking at my bum you old man? she says in the opposite to a whisper.
The poor guy is both confused and embarrassed and tries to explain he was only trying to watch the telly which she kept swaying in front of.
She, wouldn't let it go and kept on at him, I felt it to be time to interrupt, 'he probably was looking at your backside and so was I, after all its the biggest thing in here and stops us looking at that tiny 32 inch screen why not move over so we can all see the screen?'
She wasn't happy, but who cares I got my own back for all those times women have asked 'does my bum look big' with you knowing whatever answer you give its going to be the wrong one.