New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

cherokee · 30-07-2009, 17:56

I have just pinched this off our SOS website and it really made me chuckle ...

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing arse-about-face. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We’re impatient and maybe letting us kill some as......e that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical t..t.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Basic Infantry training would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million ****ed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with Menopause!!!
You think Men have attitudes!!! OHHHHHH my God!!!

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we’ll have it secured the first night!

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

AccyLass · 30-07-2009, 18:29

Thats great!

hehe

vera · 30-07-2009, 18:56

I completely agree. Let me go back in and do what i couldn't do then, when i was "in" the role of us women was to assist the men in non combatant duties. Let us get the chance to have a go at the enemy now it is all equal rights.

shillelagh · 31-07-2009, 20:37

that means id lose spug ... we'd have no 3 wise monkeys +1 .... no cashy mind you after what he said about me earlier .. i'll have to think about that ....

Royboy39 · 31-07-2009, 21:00

There is someting to be said about oldies of which I am one.
When I entered basic training in 1957 the doctrine was 'If you are confronted with an armed enemy, shoot him.'
Rules of engagement......bollox to that...he was going to shoot me.
Stop or i'll fire....bollox to that too.
He's only joking.....Tell that to the Marines who will blow your bloody head off.
Black, white or sky blue pink. the emeny is the emeny...........waste them.