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Welcome to Accrington Web! We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today! |
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19-10-2006, 17:11
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Yank in King Art's Court!
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Culpeper, Virginia, USA
Posts: 1,403
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Rep Power: 264
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Priceless!
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in ipstick!: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love ou, darling!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating. Jack asks, "Son. what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door." Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!" Broken Coffee Table $39.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins $.38 Saying the right thing at the right time .. Priceless
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19-10-2006, 23:09
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#2 |
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God Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Great Harwood
Posts: 7,146
Blog Entries: 74
Liked: 6 times
Rep Power: 910
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Re: Priceless!
Thanks for that LYY it raised a smile
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 I know this may come as a shock but believe it or not all views I may air on here are my own work!!!!! 
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19-10-2006, 23:35
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#3 |
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white rabbits
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: cleveleys
Posts: 4,426
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Rep Power: 4234
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Re: Priceless!
Oh That Was A Cracker....
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20-10-2006, 00:20
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#4 |
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God Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Not sure anymore
Posts: 9,009
Blog Entries: 10
Liked: 1 times
Rep Power: 514
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Re: Priceless!
Nice one.
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 All comments above are nothing to do with here and therefore not the resposibility of the Accrington Web site owners admins or mods. THEY ARE MINE!!!!  |
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20-10-2006, 22:44
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#7 |
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God Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Great Harwood
Posts: 7,146
Blog Entries: 74
Liked: 6 times
Rep Power: 910
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Re: Priceless!
Crikey just read that again after being out and consuming a fair amount of lovely beer.... all I can say is I nearly didn'r reach the toilet after nearly p....ng myself laughing
__________________
I know this may come as a shock but believe it or not all views I may air on here are my own work!!!!!
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