Proud to be British

[lettie]

I am so proud to be British. Here are some typically British traits..


Be very proud to be British because...
Only in Britain...
do you get a pizza to your house faster than an ambulance.
do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the
shop to get their prescriptions while people can buy cigarettes at the front
of the shop.
do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our
junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.
8 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

AND FINALLY....
In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skulls whilst throwing up into the
toilet.
RULE BRITANNIA !!


Oh what joy to be British

[Sparkologist]

Originally Posted by lettie

I am so proud to be British. Here are some typically British traits..

AND FINALLY....
In 2000, eight Brits cracked their skulls whilst throwing up into the
toilet.
RULE BRITANNIA !!


Oh what joy to be British

It could have been nine, but it took three days for the memory of how it happened to slowly surface. I only realised when I found blood round the sharp edged rim of the bog seat, which perfectly matched the crease in my forehead. I had a scar for two weeks that resembled a lobotomy by Dr Frankenstein.