Reasons to Swop your Wife for a Dog!

[K.S.H]

1. The later you are, the more pleased and excited your dog is to see you.


2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.


3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things lying around on the floor.


4. A dog's parents never visit.


5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.


6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.


7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.


8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.


9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"


10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell them or give them away.


11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.


12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.



13. Dogs dont mind riding in the back of a van.



And last, but certainly not least:



14. If a dog leaves, it won't claim half of your house!



Ultimate Test: Lock your wife and your dog in the boot of your car for an hour. Then open the boot and see who's the happiest to see you.

[cashman]

Damn good reasons, but then the dog dont feed me.

[K.S.H]

Originally Posted by cashman

Damn good reasons, but then the dog dont feed me.

Hmmm, nor wash up, iron, clean etc
Might keep her after all

[cashman]

then theres always a " Little old roll in the Hay" would get arrested probably if i did that with the dog.

[MargaretR]

Reasons to ditch your husband -

1. If you are fortunate enough to have got one who brings you early morning tea - a teasmade will do it just as well

2. You can fart in bed without apologising to anyone.

3. The toilet seat is always down.

4. You have sole use of the TV remote control.

5. You never need to watch Sky Sports ever again.

6. What you eat is not dictated by his peculiar tastes.

7. the duvet is all yours

These are my own compilation based on life experience

[Wynonie Harris]

Originally Posted by cashman

then theres always a " Little old roll in the Hay" would get arrested probably if i did that with the dog.

If having a roll in the hay with a dog were a crime, I'd just be about coming up for parole now!

[cashman]

yeh but if ya fart in bed, theres no-one to pull duvet over there head. so it kills the pleasure.

[accyman]

the wife cant teach you how to lick your own balls

[MargaretR]

Originally Posted by accyman

the wife cant teach you how to lick your own balls

I wish I had known that earlier - I would have bought a dog for him to save me the bother