Sh*t Happens.

[Sparkologist]

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Sh*t List

• Taoism: Sh*t happens.
• Confucianism: Confucius say, "Sh*t happens."
• Buddhism: If sh*t happens, it isn't really sh*t.
• Zen Buddhism: Sh*t is, and is not.
• Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of sh*t happening?
• Hinduism: This sh*t has happened before.
• Islam: If sh*t happens, it is the will of Allah.
• Islam #2: If sh*t happens, kill the person responsible.
• Islam #3: If sh*t happens, blame Israel.
• Catholicism: If sh*t happens, you deserve it.
• Protestantism: Let sh*t happen to someone else.
• Presbyterian: This sh*t was bound to happen.
• Episcopalian: It's not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
• Methodist: It's not so bad if sh*t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
• Congregationalist: Sh*t that happens to one person is just as good as sh*t that happens to another.
• Unitarian: Sh*t that happens to one person is just as bad as sh*t that happens to another.
• Lutheran: If sh*t happens, don't talk about it.
• Fundamentalism: If sh*t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
• Fundamentalism #2: If sh*t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
• Fundamentalism #3: Sh*t must be born again.
• Judaism: Why does this sh*t always happen to us?
• Calvinism: Sh*t happens because you don't work.
• Seventh Day Adventism: No sh*t shall happen on Saturday.
• Creationism: God made all sh*t.
• Secular Humanism: Sh*t evolves.
• Christian Science: When sh*t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
• Christian Science #2: Sh*t happening is all in your mind.
• Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this sh*t.
• Quakers: Let us not fight over this sh*t.
• Utopianism: This sh*t does not stink.
• Darwinism: This sh*t was once food.
• Capitalism: That's MY sh*t.
• Communism: It's everybody's sh*t.
• Feminism: Men are sh*t.
• Chauvinism: We may be sh*t, but you can't live without us...
• Commercialism: Let's package this sh*t.
• Impressionism: From a distance, sh*t looks like a garden.
• Idolism: Let's bronze this sh*t.
• Existentialism: Sh*t doesn't happen; SH*T IS.
• Existentialism #2: What is sh*t, anyway?
• Stoicism: This sh*t is good for me.
• Hedonism: There is nothing like a good sh*t happening!
• Mormonism: God sent us this sh*t.
• Mormonism #2: This sh*t is going to happen again.
• Wiccan: An it harm none, let sh*t happen.
• Scientology: If sh*t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
• Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Sh*t happens.
• Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our sh*t?
• Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Sh*t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
• Moonies: Only really happy sh*t happens.
• Hare Krishna: Sh*t happens, rama rama.
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this sh*t!
• Zoroastrianism: Sh*t happens half on the time.
• Church of SubGenius: BoB Sh*ts.
• Practical: Deal with sh*t one day at a time.
• Agnostic: Sh*t might have happened; then again, maybe not.
• Agnostic #2: Did someone sh*t?
• Agnostic #3: What is this sh*t?
• Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
• Atheism: What sh*t?
• Atheism #2: I can't believe this sh*t!
• Nihilism: No sh*t.
• And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Sh*t happens-one day at a time!

[Caz]

Also:

Americanism: Who gives a ****?
Analism : I want to see where **** comes from
Reaganism : I don't remember ****
Bushism : read my ****
Egocentrism : I made all this ****
Pessimism : there will be more ****
Optimism : this ****, too, will pass
Capitalism: The more you work, the more you don't have to take ****
Realism: Life is ****
Idealism: I can handle this ****
Positive thinkingism: **** is what you make it
Predictionism: The **** is going to hit the fan
Patriotism: My ****, right or wrong
Materialism: Whoever dies with the most **** wins
Descartes-ism: I think, therefore I ****
Bob Geldof: Send us your ****ing **** now!
TV evangelsm:Your tax-deductible donation could make this **** stop happening...
New age:I create my own ****.
New age:We're all part of the same ****.
Energiser bunny:**** happens and happens and happens and ...
Voodoo:Let's stick some pins in this ****!
Voodoo:This ****'s gonna get you!
Amish:**** is good for the soil.
Amish:This modern **** is worthless.
Divorcism:She's full of ****!
Divorcism:He's fooling around with some worthless piece of ****.
Iraqi Baathist: Oh ****!
Born again:**** happens, but I am saved.
Deja vu:I've been through this **** before
Mathematics: The amount of **** is directly proportional to the amount of food consumed.
Beavis and Buttheadism: Uh..****...huh..huh..that's cool.

[Doug]

Keep it coming guys . this is the sort of **** we need to pick us up so we don't get down in the ****y dumps. Cheers......there good.