Silly sayings - Page 3

happyone · 27-09-2003, 07:15

i  have my eye on you  whay would u want to put ya eye on em keep ya nose out  i didnt put it in your pi**ing me off now   i never p***sed on you
hes no lead in his pencel his rock has no lettering thro it  dont play with it to much you go blinde ( gthat ones  true mick told )

Mik Dickinson · 27-09-2003, 09:24

Then it that case i can only say one thing.'AAA Grashopper'me be blind but i had fun getting there.No that is not nice is it

happyone · 27-09-2003, 12:01

ANNE · 27-09-2003, 18:33

I will be meeting my-self comeing back. mmm

happyone · 27-09-2003, 18:38

quote from crusaders dad ( are you reading that paper your sitting on)

ANNE · 27-09-2003, 18:47

Whooooooo you better go [smiley=coffeecup.gif] coz Crusader gonna gonna run ya over with his chair when he siz that one.

happyone · 27-09-2003, 22:45

[smiley=couchplus.gif] he told me  ;D

Len · 10-12-2003, 22:58

I hope I don't get in trouble with this....

Had to send this one on....it's an absolute classic!!! Enjoy!

Genuine extracts from letters of complaint sent to local councils...

"My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it."

"He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore."

"It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow."

"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt
my knob off."

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage."

"And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
fence."

"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off."

"My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?"

"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the
wall."

“I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the
walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy."

"I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers."

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared."

"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour
and not fit to drink."

"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."

"I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at
6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me."

"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous."

"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
third so please send someone round to do something about it."

"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please
do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night."

"Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy
my wife."

"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
have no satisfaction."

susie · 10-12-2003, 23:32

brilliant Len.  havent laughed so much for ages ;D ;D

janet · 11-12-2003, 09:24

Thanks Len, had a really good laugh at that one, you had me in tears. [smiley=lol.gif]

GoldenBallz · 11-12-2003, 15:17

How about the old classroom classic "Keep your eyes on the blackboard while I go through it!" and why do we always saying something's making a "funny" noise - I can't remember the last garage/plumbers bill I laughed at. Finally a quote from the genius philosopher who wrote the book on the critical analysis of daft sayings.

"...The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!..." Homer Simpson