Sing along

[lettie]

A Friday night sing along for the ladies.

To the tune of I will Survive.....


At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long, That I grew
strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are,
Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry, I should have
known that it was bulls**t, Just a sad pathetic dream, Should have known
there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count?

(Chorus)
I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive . . .hey . hey

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,

Go on now go,
Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,

I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.

(Chorus)
Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cos I know its length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.

[Doug]

Fine, you can laugh and maybe cry.
But before I die, just remember this,
A dildo can not kiss,

And as for batteries dear, before you anticipate
Who put the money on the plate?
So you can afford to mas-------.
And before you’re done, it’s us that runs for the curry dear,


I couldn’t let it go unanswered perhaps gentlemen we could play add a line and have some fun of our own.

[ShortStuff]

Nice one Lettie! That'll get all the boys on the defensive!!!

Isn't it funny that men can judge lengths and distances when it comes to reverse parking - but when it comes to their tackle they mix up centimetres with inches!

[Doug]

Yep, but at least we can get in the space provided s/s, goes without saying, lubication "oil an all", It's all about knowing where to put.

[Sparkologist]

Originally Posted by lettie

Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,

I wondered why you wanted to borrow my jump-leads. Do Duracell not make 'em big enough???

[Sparkologist]

This reminds me... Why are women cr*p at mathematics?

Because men keep telling 'em that this, I<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>I is twelve inches. Hehehe.

[WINGY]

hehehehehehehehe i like it!!!

[ANNE]

Good one Lettie...........

[Ceejache]

I've always thought it strange that it is deemed perfectly normal and acceptable that women have appliances to aid their sexual needs, yet if a bloke had something similar like a blow-up doll (or any other item.....there are things out there.....apparently) then 9 times out of 10 he would be considered a sad, pathetic, ineffectual pervert!

Discuss.

[mez]

brilliant lettie been sing it all day (in my head )

[lettie]

Originally Posted by Ceejache

I've always thought it strange that it is deemed perfectly normal and acceptable that women have appliances to aid their sexual needs, yet if a bloke had something similar like a blow-up doll (or any other item.....there are things out there.....apparently) then 9 times out of 10 he would be considered a sad, pathetic, ineffectual pervert!

Discuss.

Those kind of appliances were actually invented as medical appliances to treat women with what was deemed to be a mental illness (hysteria) or so I believe. There was a programme on Channel 4 quite some time ago, giving the history of such things. They were used quite widely in institutions and treatment was administered by doctors. I suppose on similar lines to Electro-Convulsive Therapy (with obvious differences)
Actually, a lot of men experiment with these appliances but usually as part of foreplay with their partners. You only have to attend an Anne Summers party to realise how many women buy toys etc with their partner in mind. Attitudes are definately changing and it has become acceptable for men to join the fun.

[Len]

Nice song lettie.

[Ceejache]

Nothing wrong with these appliances at all Lettie! And nothing at all wrong with lovers experimenting together with said power tools! I am just interested in the attitudes towards such things as regards, shall we say, 'solo application! For a women to use these things without partner is considered ok, yet a bloke humping away on an inflatable is probably by many considered wierd, sad, perverted etc. For example - if you went out on a date with a bloke and ended up back at his place if, whilst he was making the coffee, you went nosying (and I know you women do it!) and found a blow-up doll what would your reaction be? I'd say that 8/9 out of 10 would make their excuses and leave!

Not trying to be a killjoy or owt! I found the song funny - even though I HATE the original! Its just that when pub talk has come around to topics such as these that I have pondered the situation - just thought I'd bring it up (!) whilst we were on the topic!

[lettie]

I don't think I'd do a runner at the blow up doll, loads of men seem to acquire them on stag nights etc. Even on an Accy web meet up we found ourselves in the company of a blow up sheep. I do know what you're getting at though. There are certain things that I would definately do a runner at and think weirdo.....
I won't mention them on here though.

[Ceejache]

Oh go on Lettie!