The Stella Awards

yerself · 26-01-2006, 20:37

We proudly pesent the Stella Awards, named after Stella Leibeck who suffered third degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonalds coffee on herself. She was driving at the time. Celebrate, if you will, America's most frivolous lawsuits:

1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury after breaking her ankle falling over a child who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were surprised by the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little brat was Mrs Robertson's son.

2. Nineteen year old Carl Truman of LA won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand in a Honda Accord. Mr.Truman hadn't noticed that there was anyone at the wheel of the vehicle before trying to steal the hub-caps.

3. Terrence Dickinson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he has just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was unable to open the garage door from inside, and the door back into the house had locked shut behind him. The house owners were on vacation. Mr Dickinson found himself locked in the garage for eight days with just two bottle of Pepsi and a bag of dog biscuits to live on. He sued the homeowner, and received half a million dollars for undue mental anguish.

4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by a beagle. The beagle was chained up in it's owners yard. The award was a little less than first thought, given that the jury agreed that Mr Williams had provoked the dog by shooting it repeatedly with an air gun.

5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster $113,000 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was only on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. Kara Walton of Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club after she fell from the bathroom window and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak out and avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12, 000 and dental expenses.

But, the undoubted winner is Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma who purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. Upon leaving the dealership, he pulled onto the freeway, set the cruise control at 70mph and calmly made his way into the back to make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the vehicle left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 and a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their handbooks in case another complete moron decided to buy one of their vehicles.

Thanks to Howling Dog for the above:
http://www.howlingdog.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/

Gayle · 26-01-2006, 20:51

Got that by email a few days ago - very funny.

Ber999T · 27-01-2006, 05:34

And to think that they got PAID out!!!!!!!

No wonder this country going litigation crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neil · 27-01-2006, 07:18

Maybe I can sue HBC everytime my boy falls over the raised flags on the pavement outside my house caused my the tree in my garden that HBC would not let me cut down becasue I am in a pretend conservation area.

Mick · 27-01-2006, 09:13

I have been thinking of sueing HBC too
There is a patch of pavment outside the Stag inn that moves everytime i come out of the Stag one of these days less and me will trip over it .
For some reason though it only moves on the way out of the Stag never on the way in? cant think why so if one of us falls the other will sue !!