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Anything Goes Anything goes.....well, you'll get away with more here than anywhere else on Accyweb! But remember, we are a child friendly forum! |
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Welcome to Accrington Web!
We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today!
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16-05-2007, 13:12
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#1
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Senior Member+
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Watching FC United
Posts: 1,847
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 115
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The World Explained Through Cows......
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it world-wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good, the sun is shining the surf is up. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the hell out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
WELSH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
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16-05-2007, 13:16
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#2
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☆ V.I.P Member ☆
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Out of my friggin mind!!
Posts: 6,174
Liked: 2 times
Rep Power: 1027
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
Quote:
Originally Posted by mthead
SOCIALISM:
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
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LMAO
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"Dont make someone a priority if your only an option!!"
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16-05-2007, 13:26
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#3
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Give, give, give member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Overlookin' ducks & geese
Posts: 32,411
Liked: 27 times
Rep Power: 16468
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
ANARCHY.
__________________
'If you're going to be a Kant, be the very best Kant there is my son.'
Johann Georg Kant, father of Immanuel Kant, philosopher.
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16-05-2007, 14:01
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#4
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God Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: c l m
Posts: 12,362
Liked: 518 times
Rep Power: 68670
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
That is quite the most hilariously funny post ever I've seen -have Karma on me
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16-05-2007, 14:37
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#5
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Resident Waffler
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Accrington, Hyndburn
Posts: 18,142
Liked: 14 times
Rep Power: 1061
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
Quote:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
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Are you sure that's not the NHS cow department?
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16-05-2007, 14:44
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#6
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Senior Member+
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: in a dark,dark hole
Posts: 1,419
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 2243
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
very funny!!!!
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16-05-2007, 19:22
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#7
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Senior Member+
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Floral Pound Town
Posts: 1,089
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 51
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
__________________
I HAD MY FIRST KISS IN A CONCRETE PIPE,ON A BUILDIG SITE,ON A SUMMERS NIGHT,FELT ALRIGHT.TILL I GOT HOME..OOOPS LOVE BITE. MAXWELL aged 10.1970
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16-05-2007, 19:26
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#8
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God Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 3,478
Liked: 1 times
Rep Power: 116
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
Very funny Mt Head.
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' The views expressed here are my own and are not necessarily those of the site'
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16-05-2007, 19:51
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#9
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God Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Not sure anymore
Posts: 9,009
Liked: 1 times
Rep Power: 514
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Re: The World Explained Through Cows......
Summed up to a tee nice one.
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