Thickys.

katex · 16-11-2009, 23:19

The world is full of thick people - how do they get dressed in a morning.........

Subject: They live among us

UNFORTUNATELY!!!!!!!!!!

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman:
What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant:
Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman:
No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston:
Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant:
Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston:
There's a clue in the title.

Contestant:
Leicester

BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White:
Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
I don't know.

Stewart White:
I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant:
Arm

Stewart White:
Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant:
Strong.

Stewart White:

Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant:Louis

Stewart White:
Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

Alex Trelinski:
What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant:
France.

Trelinski:
France is another country. Try again.

Contestant:
Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski:
Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant:
Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski:
Just guess a country then.

Contestant:
Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson:
Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant:
The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark:
For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis:
I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne:
What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant:
Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter:
What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant:
I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO ( MANCHESTER )

Phil:
What's 11 squared?

Contestant:
I don't know.

Phil:
I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant:
Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:
Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant:
Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:
On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant:
Er. ... ..

Richard:
He makes bread . . .

Contestant:
Er .. .....

Richard:
He makes cakes . . .

Contestant:
Kipling Street?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter:
Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant:
Barcelona.

Presenter:
I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant:
I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:
What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant:
The Pacific.

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter:
Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre:
What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:
Magna Carta?

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien:
How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant:
Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle:
In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller:
Japan.

Chris Searle:
I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller:
Er ........ Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat:
How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause):
Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham:
In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant:
Holland?

Daryl Denham:
Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant:
Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)
It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant:
No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood:
What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant:
Er... .... ..
Phil Wood:

It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant:
Blimey?

Phil Wood:
Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant:
(Silence)

Phil Wood:
OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant:
Walked?

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes:
What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant:
Nostalgia.

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter:
What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant:
Jewish.

Presenter:
That's close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright:
Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant:
Jesus

Retlaw · 16-11-2009, 23:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by katex

The world is full of thick people - how do they get dressed in a morning.........

Subject: They live among us

UNFORTUNATELY!!!!!!!!!!

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman:
What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant:
Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman:
No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston:
Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant:
Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston:
There's a clue in the title.

Contestant:
Leicester

BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White:
Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
I don't know.

Stewart White:
I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant:
Arm

Stewart White:
Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant:
Strong.

Stewart White:

Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant:Louis

Stewart White:
Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

Alex Trelinski:
What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant:
France.

Trelinski:
France is another country. Try again.

Contestant:
Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski:
Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant:
Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski:
Just guess a country then.

Contestant:
Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson:
Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant:
The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark:
For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis:
I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne:
What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant:
Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter:
What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant:
I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO ( MANCHESTER )

Phil:
What's 11 squared?

Contestant:
I don't know.

Phil:
I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant:
Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:
Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant:
Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:
On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant:
Er. ... ..

Richard:
He makes bread . . .

Contestant:
Er .. .....

Richard:
He makes cakes . . .

Contestant:
Kipling Street?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter:
Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant:
Barcelona.

Presenter:
I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant:
I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:
What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant:
The Pacific.

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter:
Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre:
What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:
Magna Carta?

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien:
How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant:
Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle:
In which European country is Mount Etna ?

Caller:
Japan.

Chris Searle:
I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller:
Er ........ Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat:
How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause):
Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham:
In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant:
Holland?

Daryl Denham:
Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant:
Iceland? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)
It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant:
No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood:
What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant:
Er... .... ..
Phil Wood:

It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant:
Blimey?

Phil Wood:
Ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant:
(Silence)

Phil Wood:
OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant:
Walked?

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes:
What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant:
Nostalgia.

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter:
What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant:
Jewish.

Presenter:
That's close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright:
Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant:
Jesus

Those are good ones Katex, surprising how many people you've found as your equal.
Which question did you get right.

Retlaw.

jaysay · 17-11-2009, 04:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retlaw

Those are good ones Katex, surprising how many people you've found as your equal.
Which question did you get right.

Retlaw.

Thats a novel way to ask for a slap Retlaw

Retlaw · 17-11-2009, 12:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaysay

Thats a novel way to ask for a slap Retlaw

I know, I'll bet she can't wait to bump into me.
I know she's been in the library a time or two,
the've told me.
Got me kevlar vest on.

Retlaw.

MargaretR · 17-11-2009, 12:55

Next time you are in the library I recommend you read this

jaysay · 17-11-2009, 16:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargaretR

Next time you are in the library I recommend you read this

Think you'll find Retlaw wrote it Margaret

Barrie Yates · 17-11-2009, 17:55

Retlaw, may I suggest a kevlar jock strap with ceramic plates - also a neck brace to contain the lumps that suddenly appear in your throat :-))

katex · 17-11-2009, 20:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barrie Yates

Retlaw, may I suggest a kevlar jock strap with ceramic plates - also a neck brace to contain the lumps that suddenly appear in your throat :-))

He has no worries Barrie .. never hit anyone in me life ... still always a first time .. tee hee.

Shamedly, Retlaw knew them all except this one:

"Steve Le Fevre:
What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:
Magna Carta? "

Course know now .. have googled it...

Treaty of Versailles ? Hek, am I correct ?

Retlaw · 17-11-2009, 21:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaysay

Think you'll find Retlaw wrote it Margaret

How the eck did you know I co-authored that book.

Retlaw.

Retlaw · 17-11-2009, 21:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by katex

He has no worries Barrie .. never hit anyone in me life ... still always a first time .. tee hee.

Shamedly, Retlaw knew them all except this one:

"Steve Le Fevre:
What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
I always thought it was King John who ended WW1

Contestant:
Magna Carta? "

Course know now .. have googled it...

Treaty of Versailles ? Hek, am I correct ?

Your alus goggling things dusti know nowt.
Onyrouad up, finally treaty wernd signed until
June/July 1919, the frogs wanted the jerry's to suffer, now look at the creeps, they'r now making us suffer.

Retlaw.

Retlaw · 17-11-2009, 21:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barrie Yates

Retlaw, may I suggest a kevlar jock strap with ceramic plates - also a neck brace to contain the lumps that suddenly appear in your throat :-))

Somebody once tried that, and got the shock of their lives when I didnt go down, and my fist landed in their teeth.
Retlaw.