things to do in tesco

emamum · 01-07-2008, 22:43

14 things to do in Tesco whilst your other half is shopping

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him?her in an official tone:
Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

06. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse
through,say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."

sorry Loz

watch out for accywebbers trying these out

Bonnyboy · 01-07-2008, 22:52

I have a friend that cruises the freezer section looking out for erect female nipples…that lad is going to get lifted

BERNADETTE · 01-07-2008, 22:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy

I have a friend that cruises the freezer section looking out for erect female nipples…that lad is going to get lifted

You sure that ain't you??

Bonnyboy · 01-07-2008, 22:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by BERNADETTE

You sure that ain't you??

Oh I'm sure it isn't me. The silly sod has been doing it for years. One day he will get caught out, then the poop will hit the fan

emamum · 01-07-2008, 22:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy

I have a friend that cruises the freezer section looking out for erect female nipples…that lad is going to get lifted

2 questions............ 1) how olds your friend and 2) which supermarket?

Bonnyboy · 01-07-2008, 22:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

2 questions............ 1) how olds your friend and 2) which supermarket?

1. About 40

2. Burnley Asda

Neil · 01-07-2008, 22:59

Why Emma are you going to Burnley shopping?

emamum · 01-07-2008, 23:02

Nah..... Burnley is too far

BERNADETTE · 01-07-2008, 23:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy

Oh I'm sure it isn't me. The silly sod has been doing it for years. One day he will get caught out, then the poop will hit the fan

Sad git, tell him to get a life

Bonnyboy · 01-07-2008, 23:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by BERNADETTE

Sad git, tell him to get a life

Agree, he's been told, seems it's a case of " in one and out the other"

entwisi · 02-07-2008, 09:08

A bloke I used to work with would disappear when him and his missus walked in, then when she was idlely chatting to someone he would run up, wobble her breasts and then run off again!

Mick · 02-07-2008, 09:42

I once did the weekly shop at Asda as Anne was not to well.
She gave me a list and said if you see any bargains get them and add it to the list so off i went got the trolley and started walking round .
i got about 10 items then came to the Sugar they had a 2lb bag and a bigger bag that seamed cheap to me so got the big bag i checked the bag as there seamed to be a lot of sugar round the pallet and it was fine (so i thought ) and carried on with the list .
i was just coming to the end of the list and had to get the toothpaste i stopped got it and was just moving off when i felt something under my foot looking down there was a pile of sugar on the floor i grabbed my bag of sugar it was totally empty looking round there was a trail of sugar all down the isles and little piles of sugar where i had stopped to look at something .
so i went back to the sugar pallet and picked another bag up and doing a proper check this time headed out to the check out .
i just got there when it came over the tanoy "cleaners to isle 2,3,4,5,and 6 sugar all over the isles".

Anne wont let me do the shopping now

emzy · 02-07-2008, 12:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by mick

I once did the weekly shop at Asda as Anne was not to well.
She gave me a list and said if you see any bargains get them and add it to the list so off i went got the trolley and started walking round .
i got about 10 items then came to the Sugar they had a 2lb bag and a bigger bag that seamed cheap to me so got the big bag i checked the bag as there seamed to be a lot of sugar round the pallet and it was fine (so i thought ) and carried on with the list .
i was just coming to the end of the list and had to get the toothpaste i stopped got it and was just moving off when i felt something under my foot looking down there was a pile of sugar on the floor i grabbed my bag of sugar it was totally empty looking round there was a trail of sugar all down the isles and little piles of sugar where i had stopped to look at something .
so i went back to the sugar pallet and picked another bag up and doing a proper check this time headed out to the check out .
i just got there when it came over the tanoy "cleaners to isle 2,3,4,5,and 6 sugar all over the isles".

Anne wont let me do the shopping now

Class!!

derekgas · 02-07-2008, 12:51

Was in asda bury once, lost track of the little one, I went to security asked them to watch for him, the tannoy wailed his description out, security at both exits, then I proceeded to walk down the centre isle looking up both sides, got to the toiletries isle and there he was, surrounded by half a dozen opened shampoo bottles that he had tested to see if they smelt nice.

Lilly · 02-07-2008, 15:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by entwisi

A bloke I used to work with would disappear when him and his missus walked in, then when she was idlely chatting to someone he would run up, wobble her breasts and then run off again!

How rude!

A quick smack in the testicles would soon sort him out.

That's what I'd do to my hubby if he wobbled my cherry bakewells in public!