Toilet Wall Humour

[Ianto.W.]

:engsmil: What's the best peice of wit youve read on a toilet or any other wall or door, "kilroy" was world famous during my short spell in the armed
forces, this was written on a newly refurbished toilet at Catterick camp,
"roar with laughter jump with joy I was here before Kilroy, underneath
the reply was, take no notice of that bloke I was here but my pencil broke.
The best of all was "A man's ambition must be small to waste his talent on
a s***house wall. Sureley there must be hundreds?

[Mick]

"Some come here to sit and think,
You come here to sh1t and stink,
I come here to scratch my balls,
And write graffiti on the walls."

[Less]

Heres some sites for you

http://users.ox.ac.uk/~peter/humour/graffiti.html

http://www.gelfer.net/graffitisample...%20graffiti%22

And if you want to have a go at a bit of graffiti without having to worry about bumping into Robbie Williams try this site:-

http://www.blograffiti.com/all.php


These are for you Granny, (whatever you do don't go looking for animated toilet gifs, there are some very strange sites out there)

[Ianto.W.]

Thank's Less looks like we have something in common after after all, this gem
was written on English Electric A shop toilet wall, "Fitters i've s**t em (reply)
if your a***e was as big as your mouth you still couldn't do it"

[Less]

Originally Posted by Ianto.W.

Thank's Less looks like we have something in common after after all,

Now hold on there just a cotton pickin' minute, as my gym mistress used to say, "One swallow does not an orgy make".

Just because I posted in this thread does not turn us into bosum buddies, I might just have put those links in knowing that to read through them all would take you a few hours which would stop you from picking on me, leaving me with plenty of time to get back to my master plan of picking on willow!

Less strikes a dramatic pose before continuing with his evil plan.
(Do I look like a bald headed Rindy in this outfit?).

[Ianto.W.]

The toad beneath the harrow knows Exactly where each tooth-point goes;
The butterfly upon the road Preaches contentment to the toad.
Not on a bog wall.

[WillowTheWhisp]

There's a loo in Morecambe with a sort of on-going saga. There are no hooks behind most of the loo doors in Morecambe and not having somewhere to hang your handbag is a bit of a problem, especially when the floor is wet.

One of the loos had a hook! Someone was obviously so impressed by this that they had drawn a huge arrow on the door and written "***** there's a coat hook!"

Sometime later the hook was missing and written below the first comment was:

"Not now there aint"

Beneath that was:

"Whurzit gone?"

Then:

"We had a coat hook on one door.
We have a coat hook now no more.
It was there and now its gone.
Nowt to hang my handbag on.
Who woud want to nick a hook?
Look! It's missing look there! Look!
A curse upon you theiving get
The bottom of my bag is wet
I hope that it is only rain.
I shall not come in here again." (that may not be word for word accurate but I did read it several times over a 6 week period)

and finally

Who sez it got nicked? Maybe it just bogged off.

[Less]

(that may not be word for word accurate but I did read it several times over a 6 week period)

My sympathies go out to busmen if he had to share his time in Morecambe with a six week period! Bad enough when you go there for a wet week-end!

[Margaret Pilkington]

Do not sit upon the seat....the crabs in here can jump ten feet!
So what my Granny used to tell me about sitting on toilet seats was true

[Ianto.W.]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

Do not sit upon the seat....the crabs in here can jump ten feet!
So what my Granny used to tell me about sitting on toilet seats was true

Be not disheartened by your try, I swear next door the
b-----s fly.

[Bazf]

Come home Oedipus I love you. Mother.
Over my dead body. Father

Don't beam me up Scottie, I'm having a Sh

was oscar wilde?

constipation is the thief of time but
diarrhoea waits for no man

six mounths ago I couldn’t even spell electrician, now I r one.

[Ianto.W.]

:engsmil: Toilet writers when they die, will find errected in the sky;
a pleasant tribute to their wit, a monument of solid s--t.


It took me six years and a lifetime of experience, to become an
electrician Baz, finally made it at sixty, best of luck. Grumpy Ian.

[Margaret Pilkington]

this isn't exactly Toilet Wall Humour, but it made me laugh.
We recently went to Skipton.....while we were there my hubby needed the loo.
He went to the ones on the car park near the Town Hall...he was charged 20pence. He said to the woman 'Twenty pence just to have a pee?'.......she said 'No it is twenty pence to get in........you can do whatever you want once you are in there!' I took his pencil off him!

[Ianto.W.]

Originally Posted by Margaret Pilkington

this isn't exactly Toilet Wall Humour, but it made me laugh.
We recently went to Skipton.....while we were there my hubby needed the loo.
He went to the ones on the car park near the Town Hall...he was charged 20pence. He said to the woman 'Twenty pence just to have a pee?'.......she said 'No it is twenty pence to get in........you can do whatever you want once you are in there!' I took his pencil off him!

You always were a spoilsport Margaret, you mighn't have a
budding genius on your hands, after all the man paid his money

[Margaret Pilkington]

Yes Ianto.W..........but I know he can't spell! And I wanted to get some shopping done, not have him composing War and Peace in the Gents lavvy!