Uncle Less's accyweb T-Shirt

[Less]

Hello again kiddywinks Summer Holidays here again so I thought I had better set you a project that will help while away these rain soaked days.

Mez, move nearer to the front then Rindy will stop poking the scars you got from making the Car freshener

Now if any of you sat here have got responsible parents you may as well leave now because you're only going to be disappointed when Daddy says no.

Ah, good I see nobody decided to leave, (hurray for single parent families).

Now what I need you to do is the next time it starts to rain make as big a nuisance of yourself in the living room throwing as many tantrums as are necessary, eventually this will drive your parents mad and they will do anything to get rid of you.

It is at this point you tell them that Uncle Less is organising a day out to Blackpool so everyone can get their very own accyweb T-Shirt made up,

Tell them in your most irritatating voice that EVERYONE ELSE from accyweb is going so why can't you? (Repeat this phrase until your parents reach for the vallium and ask how much is it?).

Now in a very fast but quiet voice you explain that it is, "Only £150.00 for the day out plus £19.99 for the T-Shirt, and perhaps the odd £50 or £60 Beer money", Don't worry if you are under age I know plenty of bars that will let you in while your awaiting your T-Shirt being made up.

You are expected to bring your own packed lunch for the outward journey, if you haven't been on one of these trips with me before a minimum of four cans of Strongbow is recommended, (mainly because it tastes just the same coming up as it does going down!).

Although this trip is aimed at the junior members of accyweb I can't be expected to let them run riot on my own so if there are any adult members that would like to come along for a right good p*ss up and the chance to ignore a group of uncontrollable juveniles please P.M. me.

Below are a couple of examples of the T-Shirts we intend to have made up but (Don't worry you can get them in any colour you like), if you have any ideas of your own please post them underneath.

[flashy]

hahahahahaha have you been drinking uncle Less?

[lettie]

Uncle Less..
Do I need to bring scissors for this one??? Sparks doesn't want me to fetch them because I nearly took his eye out when we were making the christmas card

Can I have glitter on my T shirt, as I have some left over......pweeeeeese.

[Less]

Originally Posted by lettie

Uncle Less..
Do I need to bring scissors for this one???

Can I have glitter on my T shirt,

No Lettie just plenty of blow and fag papers as we will be having the traditional 50p to the first person that can spot Blackpool Tower turning into a dolphin competition!


As for Glitter, that is optional though you may have to pay extra if busman demands a fee for getting the sparkly stuff off the floor.

[grannyclaret]

Less, i am glad youve not lost your sense of humour...You always make me laugh....

[mez]

unka wess, unka wess, "puff puff" im out of breff, just bin anging thins on line outside, i wanna go to bwackpool wiv you, but got to ask, will tell you after.

"rindy ger yer finger out mi ear i saw it up yer nose a sec ago dirty s*d"

[Less]

Originally Posted by mez

i wanna go to bwackpool wiv you, but got to ask, will tell you after.

Calm down Mez, I'm sure you'll get permission but you can only come if you promise to be good, no dragging Anne off to look around pound shops like you did last time, while Mick and I have to make our own entertainment in the pub.

[Sparkologist]

Originally Posted by Less

No Lettie just plenty of blow and fag papers...

...you may have to pay extra if busman demands a fee for getting the sparkly stuff off the floor.

After a few miles of passive smoking of "blow", I seriously doubt whether Busman will be the slightest bit concerned about a sparkley floor on his charabanc!

[shillelagh]

PLEASE, PLEASE UNCLE LESS CAN I COME TO BLACKPOOL?

PLEASE, PLEASE UNCLE LESS CAN I HAVE A T-SHIRT?

You will need someone to stay sober just to make sure that you and Mick and Mez get on the right coach home!!!!

[cashman]

probably be better with "sweatshirts" with our beautiful weather.

[garinda]

With a slight 80's retro feel, I think a good slogan would be...

RELAX
IT'S ONLY KARMA!

[Lilly]

Originally Posted by garinda

With a slight 80's retro feel, I think a good slogan would be...

RELAX
IT'S ONLY KARMA!

Lol

You could also have one that says

I don't hate newbies!

[katex]

Well, I for one am highly disappointed. I was getting quite excited for a while, believing this was an honest invitation to an exciting day out.

I duly sat at the front with Mez and listened open-mouthed as the details unfolded - did shudder a little at the cost, but presumed an overnight stay in a 5-Star hotel would probably be included.

I had dreams and visions of us all walking arm in arm on the prom, Mez on one side of me, Garinda on the other, stick of rock in me gob with large toffee lollipot in hand awaiting space. A photographer would ask our line of members to smile and keep in step, and an image would be presented to us to insert in my 'Memories of Yesteryear' diary.

Perhaps Slinky could have introduced me to one of those exciting rides on the Pleasure Beach (before the Strongbow, of course)

Buckets and spades would have been the order of the day, and I could have lifted my skirt and had a paddle and, eew yes, playfully splashed Less in the face only to run off in fits of giggles at my mischievousness.

Could have gone to a tea dance after too, and made slides out of that powdery stuff they scatter on the dance floor to make it slippy.

Nightime falls, and we could have gone back to our hotel, glam'd up and hit the town .. caught the lit up tram and called in all the pubs back to our welcoming bed.

Could have chosen the Mafia T-shirt too .. fancy being a Gangster's Moll.

NOW REALISE .. this is just a con job .. Less extracting money from us for his pleasures and wasn't really going to take us all at all ... sob, sob.

Am now going to press the report button and seek the sympathy of Uncle Mick.

[Less]

Originally Posted by cashman

probably be better with "sweatshirts" with our beautiful weather.

Sweatshirts would be £22.65p extra, but what you need to understand Cashman is that these days the younger end go to Blackpool in the middle of the worst February blizzard with bare mid-d riffs so a T-shirt would seem like sensible winter clothing to them.

[Less]

Originally Posted by katex

Well, I for one am highly disappointed. I was getting quite excited for a while, believing this was an honest invitation to an exciting day out.

I duly sat at the front with Mez and listened open-mouthed as the details unfolded - did shudder a little at the cost, but presumed an overnight stay in a 5-Star hotel would probably be included.

I had dreams and visions of us all walking arm in arm on the prom, Mez on one side of me, Garinda on the other, stick of rock in me gob with large toffee lollipot in hand awaiting space. A photographer would ask our line of members to smile and keep in step, and an image would be presented to us to insert in my 'Memories of Yesteryear' diary.

Perhaps Slinky could have introduced me to one of those exciting rides on the Pleasure Beach (before the Strongbow, of course)

Buckets and spades would have been the order of the day, and I could have lifted my skirt and had a paddle and, eew yes, playfully splashed Less in the face only to run off in fits of giggles at my mischievousness.

Could have gone to a tea dance after too, and made slides out of that powdery stuff they scatter on the dance floor to make it slippy.

Nightime falls, and we could have gone back to our hotel, glam'd up and hit the town .. caught the lit up tram and called in all the pubs back to our welcoming bed.

Could have chosen the Mafia T-shirt too .. fancy being a Gangster's Moll.

NOW REALISE .. this is just a con job .. Less extracting money from us for his pleasures and wasn't really going to take us all at all ... sob, sob.

Am now going to press the report button and seek the sympathy of Uncle Mick.

EXCELLENT!