We Must Stop This Immediately!

WillowTheWhisp · 28-01-2006, 19:34

Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier . And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection.........Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 16 or 18? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

One good thing, though: I'm getting stronger. Now I can carry £50 worth of groceries in one hand. Used to have make several trips to get them from the car to the kitchen!

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am posting this in a larger font size , because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were too!

Margaret Pilkington · 28-01-2006, 20:10

And have you noticed how the hills are getting steeper....even as you walk up them?
nights and weekends are getting shorter......working days seem to have got longer by about 50%.......chocolate bars are smaller and yet they cost more.
YES.......I agree Willow we must get all this stopped before it is too late!

Gayle · 28-01-2006, 22:21

I think the TV people are in on it as well. They seem to be making sub titles smaller.

grannyclaret · 29-01-2006, 00:00

and i dont seem to have as much patience....

Doug · 29-01-2006, 03:38

I can't see a bloody word, Can you type a little larger?

katex · 29-01-2006, 12:11

It's disgraceful, isn't it !!! Even these new cameras have been tampered with and photos show these sort of funny lines under the eyes !!! Know I really don't look like that !!!

katex · 29-01-2006, 14:00

And another thing Willow .. talking of mirrors, was in a changing room yesterday. Why are retail shops insisting on installing those 3-way mirrors which have obviously been purchased from Blackpool's Pleasure Beach 'Hall of Mirrors' ? Can't see what good this does them !!

Gayle · 29-01-2006, 17:52

And I think that M&S have done something with their bras, the ones that I used to get are no longer sturdy enough.

Margaret Pilkington · 29-01-2006, 18:05

And somehow the elastic in their knickers is not as stretchy any more.....and they are really skimping with the fabric.....they hardly cover my bum anymore!