We're All Going On A Summer Holiday.

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O.K. so yet again our Summer seems to be a bit of a wash out so perhaps we could cheer each other up with a few memories of those Summer Holidays that were a complete disaster.

It might have been the weather, the company or the fact that the place you went to stay made Fawlty Towers seem like a 5 Star Accomodation.

Here's one of my memories:-

When I was about 8 my parents had booked a week at a seaside 'Caravan Park', at least according to the address it was, The Seaview Caravan Park. When we got to the resort we caught the bus and asked the conductor for that destination, "ah", he replied, "you must mean, the Sandy Valley Caravan Park that's the only one on this route".

We arrived at the park and made enquiries, no you're not booked here what is the full address of the site your going to?
My parents told them, Right that's 3 miles back the way you came when you get to Seaview Boarding house they will direct you.
We eventually found the boarding house and the Landlady walked us round the back of the house and there stood on bricks was an old moss covered caravan.

Mother wasn't pleased but we had paid in advance otherwise we would have left there and then.

As it was, we had to make the best of it, the best of it ha! it would have been better if our parents had dumped us with social services and slept on park benches for the week.

First thing discovered, rough army blankets on all the beds and an acrid smell of damp, questions asked of the landlady for sheets, SHEETS! she screamed, if you want sheets you should have brought your own.
She gave us a list of rules which included toilet facilities we could use the ones in the house up until 8pm. but the back door was locked after then.

We settled down for the night scratching and itching which we thought at first was the blankets, wrong! it was the red ants that objected to us invading their living space.
As soon as it was light we went to find some breakfast and head for the beach, a good and sunny day was spent on the sands.

Back to the caravan as late as possible and another nightmarish night, fortunately the ants were no bother that night because of the heavy thunderstorm that washed them under the crack in the door due to the fact every window leaked.


My parents couldn't take much more of this divorce would have been imminent had we remained.
But do you know, my main memory from that tender age was that the owners had lied to us because in actual fact although it was called sea view from where we where you couldn't see the sea!

[cashman]

one that sticks in the mind,was Pontins Blackpool when kids were toddlers, we also took the mother-in-law cos she was on her own,also she was a star, was teeming down when we arrived, so we were grateful when allocated to our sty,i kid you not it was a bloody disgrace, wife set about cleaning it up, while i checked if mum in law was ok in hers,..NO it was even worse than ours forgot to say, her youngest daughter n best mate were with her (teenagers) who thought it was great, big adventure. anyway we thought make best of a bad job. evening came we took mum,n kids fer early drink, teenagers went off rather n be stuck wi old gits, went back to our sty about 9-00/9-30 got kids off to bed, had a read,then we turned in about midnight. about 2-30 we were wakened by one hell of a racket, went to see n 3 lads were hammering on mums sty door, i went oer n said what the hell you playing at? ... after the birds the biggest gob said, i said they are with us, so leave it n go home lads its for the best, gobby said who the **** do you think you are? so i snotted him n said whos next? hasty retreat was taken by em, i knocks on sty,n shouts its only me,they have gone now, mum was in tears she was petrified,thought they would break door down, anyway got em settled n went back to bed, next morning my habit is go fer walk n get a paper, then go fer brew n fag have a read in peace. gets to cafe n it stinks of stale beer n fags, it was last nights bar not cleaned up. still raining hard so cannot escape outside. this went on until weds n then we packed up n went home. Holiday from Hell.

[MargaretR]

In the scortching summer of 76, we (me ,ex and son) went on holiday with friends (couple +2girls).

They booked a chalet (for them) and a caravan (for us) on a Devon farm.

The 2 men decided that we should all travel together in a minibus which they had bought cheap and since both were mechanics, could be got roadworthy in time.
My ex also bought a small boat which we could tow. The 'diff' was changed to take the extra load.

When we got there there was no other accomodation but ours, in a field next to the farm, miles from anywhere. Water was by standpipe in the farmyard, and it ran dry after 2 days due to the drought.
I don't remember the toilet facilities (perhaps I have blanked that out)

The chalet was a nissen hut - the caravan was a small tourer type.
There was no fridge in either of them. The food we had brought went off rapidly in the scorching heat.

We decided that daily escape was essential for survival.
Each day we all piled in the minibus for the journey to the coast.
We found that when fully laden + boat, the bus would not go up steep hills unless all passengers got out.

So the boat was a source of friction between families from the start, especially since on the one day we took it, my ex launched it and said he would sail it to they next beach on, and we should meet him there.
After 4 hours on a crowded beach watching out for him, we called the coastguard, who advised us that he had called them and was on a different beach altogether, and would we please collect him.

Meal times were also a nightmare because we had differing views on places to eat.

By the 3rd day we were'nt on speaking terms, and just had silent trips to the coast and back, splitting up when we got there, speaking only to say the time when we would meet for the return trip back to the farm.

It is the longest 7 days I have ever spent.
Never spoke to them since.

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Excellent, thank you both, if ever I win the lottery you can be assured I'll think about you while lying in a drink filled pool.

[Gayle]

Fortunately not had too many bad holidays but a couple of minor bad ones come to mind.

France
Went on holiday with parents, aunt and uncle and their three daughters plus my grandma and grandad - I was about 13 at the time. We went down in two cars but because I didn't want to be stuck with my grandma and grandad, I went in the car with my cousins (you could sit four kids on a big bench seat in those days without seat belts). Anyway, we drove down to Calais and only realised when we tried to get through passport control that I didn't have my own passport I was on my parents and they were in the other car which was loaded onto the ferry by then. Mad panic as we tried to find them so that i could go through and my aunt and uncle weren't arrested for kidnapping.

Anyway, found them in time so all boarded.

Got to house and went exploring, discovered one room that had a wall with a million pods stuck to it, on closer examination they were fly cocoons/pods/larvae, not sure what you call them but it was an awful infestation. The owner cleared it but no one wanted to sleep in the room so the four of us girls all ended up sharing a double bed - top to toes.

That was also the holiday that we nearly drowned. The four of us went into the water and then the tide changed suddenly. I grabbed one arm the youngest of my cousins who was only very young (probably about 5ish) and my other cousin grabbed her other arm so we dragged her out. We left the last one to fend for herself which in hindsight is really scary because she was only about 11ish at the time. It was a real slog to get back to the beach and we were absolutely terrified, I think we all knew how close a call it had been and what a dangerous position we'd been in.

Best bit of that holiday though was watching my grandma ask a french woman how to cook artichoke - they both just got louder and slower, but neither of them spoke the same language.

Other holiday that comes to mind is a camping one where it peed down and I ended up sleeping in the car and falling out with boyfriend. We came home after a day and didn't speak again for at least a week!

[cashman]

sorry forgot to say, on way home we got a taxi to Blackpool bus station, went fer a brew whilst waiting fer bus, me little lad asked to go loo, was getting independent at his age, we said yeh but come straight back,(could see loo from our table) he was that pleased he could go on his own, he hurried off.........straight into the corner of the next formica table, 3 stitches was the result.