what we sent to our council.

[staggeringman]

EXTRACTS FROM ACTUAL LETTERS SENT BY TENNENTS TO THE COUNCIL.
1.IWANT SOME REPAIRS DONE TO MY COOKER ASIT HAS BACKFIRED AND BURNT MY KNOB OFF.
2.I WISH TO COMPLAIN THAT MY FATHER HURT HIS ANKLE VERY BADLY WHEN HE PUT HIS FOOT IN THE HOLE IN HIS BACK PASSAGE.
3.AND THEIR 18YEAR OLD SON IS CONTINUALLY BANGING HIS BALLS AGAINST OUR FENCE.
4.THE TOILET IS BLOCKED AND WE CANT BATH THE KIDS UNTIL IT IS CLEARED.
5.I WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FARMER ACROSS THE ROAD,EVERY MORNING AT 6AM HIS COCK WAKES ME UP AND ITS GETTING TO MUCH FOR ME.
6.MY LAVOTARY SEAT IS CRACKED CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I STAND.
7.I AM A SINGLE WOMAN LIVING IN A DOWNSTAIRS FLAT AND WOULD YOU PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE NOISE MADE BY THE MEN I HAVE ON TOP OF ME EVERY NIGHT.
8.PLEASE SEND A MAN WITH A PROPER TOOL ROUND TO FINNISH THE JOB AND SATISFY MY WIFE.
THIS IS TO LET YOU KNOW THE LAVOTORY SEAT IS BROKE And we cant get bbc2.
9.my bush is really overgrownaround the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.
10.and hes got a huge tool that vibrates the whole house shakes and i cant take it anymore.
PRETTY GOOD!ARNT WE.

[bobthedj]

just seen your tennant letters, brilliant. i do disco karaoke, will it be possible to use these in my act?. many thanx

[staggeringman]

no problem, they are on for all to see!