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Anything Goes Anything goes.....well, you'll get away with more here than anywhere else on Accyweb! But remember, we are a child friendly forum! |
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Welcome to Accrington Web!
We are a discussion forum dedicated to the towns of Accrington, Oswaldtwistle and the surrounding areas, sometimes referred to as Hyndburn! We are a friendly bunch please feel free to browse or read on for more info. You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, photos, play in the community arcade and use our blog section. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please, join our community today!
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20-06-2005, 17:55
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#1
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Filthy / Gorgeous
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Why women are better...
- We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.
- We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
- When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.
- We can use cosmetics should we wake up looking like something the cat dragged in.
- We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a "short woman's complex."
- We don't have to get our strength up between sessions... ... and it's much easier for us to get laid in the first place.
- We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.
- We never ejaculate prematurely.
- We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.
- We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
- We know that Tetris is the computer game to end all games.
- We got off the Titanic first.
- Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they look like complete dicks in ours.
- We have total control over our eyebrows.
- We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
- It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.
- We can cry and get off speeding fines.
- The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts... and pool..... and football.
- We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers.
- Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
- We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our genitals.
- Taxis stop for us.
- We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
- We have no desire to arrange our possessions in alphabetical order. Ever!
- We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
- It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look INCREDIBLY cool if we do.
- We never recognise ourselves in aspects of Mr Bean. Ever.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
Sorry........... We are just better!
__________________
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
The views expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my family, friends, employer, this site, my neighbours, hairdresser, dentist, GP, next door's dog or anyone else who knows me..
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20-06-2005, 18:01
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#2
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I am Band
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overlooking 22 yards
Posts: 1,321
Liked: 3 times
Rep Power: 56
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Re: Why women are better...
Quote:
Originally Posted by lettie
- We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.
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- Didn't you set fire to the bed clothes, the last time you used a blow torch?
__________________
Connect it: Red > Yellow, Yellow > Blue, & Blew to ....'kin bits!
Any ramblings, meanderings, thoughts or musings are mine and mine alone. Any opinions expressed are Lettie's!
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20-06-2005, 18:04
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#3
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I am Band
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overlooking 22 yards
Posts: 1,321
Liked: 3 times
Rep Power: 56
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Re: Why women are better...
Quote:
Originally Posted by lettie
2. We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
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You only hum 'em 'cos it sounds like a tom-cat being neutered, when you sing!
__________________
Connect it: Red > Yellow, Yellow > Blue, & Blew to ....'kin bits!
Any ramblings, meanderings, thoughts or musings are mine and mine alone. Any opinions expressed are Lettie's!
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20-06-2005, 18:11
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#4
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Full Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: At my computer. Accy
Posts: 153
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 0
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Re: Why women are better...
We got off the Titanic first.
Yep so we could use you as life support !!!
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20-06-2005, 18:11
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#5
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*********
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Home work or Pub...
Posts: 941
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 44
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Re: Why women are better...
More More More!! come on full on fisty fight!! lol
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20-06-2005, 18:22
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#6
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I am Band
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Overlooking 22 yards
Posts: 1,321
Liked: 3 times
Rep Power: 56
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Re: Why women are better...
Quote:
Originally Posted by lettie
3. When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous.
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Well, at least your neighbours now know why the street lights go dim, when you plug it in!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lettie
3. ...When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.
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I'm more than happy with the service that I'm getting from my Latex Lettie, thank you very much!
__________________
Connect it: Red > Yellow, Yellow > Blue, & Blew to ....'kin bits!
Any ramblings, meanderings, thoughts or musings are mine and mine alone. Any opinions expressed are Lettie's!
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20-06-2005, 21:32
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#7
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Full Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Accrington
Posts: 423
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 752
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Re: Why women are better...
Now now............no cat fights
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20-06-2005, 21:50
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#8
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Full Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Revidge, Blackburn
Posts: 416
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 0
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Re: Why women are better...
round two.....................
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20-06-2005, 22:40
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#9
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Full Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: At my computer. Accy
Posts: 153
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 0
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Re: Why women are better...
We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
Why do you think we take you out. It saves us time and money
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20-06-2005, 22:49
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#10
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Grand Wizard Of The Inner Clique
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Re: Why women are better...
__________________
“I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me.”
Winnie the Pooh
Quotes & quoting
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20-06-2005, 23:01
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#11
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Full Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: At my computer. Accy
Posts: 153
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 0
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Re: Why women are better...
Yes les been there done that am still wearing the t shirt.
P.S. just nearly wet myself laughing at your post about spaghetti pan and the reply's
Really good
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20-06-2005, 23:13
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: CLM Accrington
Posts: 732
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 52
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Re: Why women are better...
Remember that God was a woman-until she changed her mind!
__________________
ACCRINGTON STANLEY-PRIDE OF LANCASHIRE! GUESS WHO'S BACK IN TOWN-& STAYING!:
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20-06-2005, 23:40
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#13
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Full Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: At my computer. Accy
Posts: 153
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 0
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Re: Why women are better...
That I think has no answer. Unless he only thought he was a woman to start with?
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20-06-2005, 23:48
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#14
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Grand Wizard Of The Inner Clique
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Re: Why women are better...
Quote:
Originally Posted by jpest1
That I think has no answer. Unless he only thought he was a woman to start with?
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God MUST have been a woman, no man would have been so cruel as to invent such a domineering 'weaker?' sex!
__________________
“I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me.”
Winnie the Pooh
Quotes & quoting
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21-06-2005, 00:20
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#15
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Full Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: At my computer. Accy
Posts: 153
Liked: 0 times
Rep Power: 0
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Re: Why women are better...
The so called weaker sex are only doing what we let them do !! I know I can hear the boos And hisses from here
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