You know you're getting old when ...

[Eric]

This ain't about memory or libido ... though it could be. In fact, the last time my friend with benefits was over, she got so aroused she almost dropped her nail file No. This is about "best before" dates. I decided to cook my own supper tonite. "Foreign muck" Margaret would call it. I concluded, after some taste testing, that what it needed was a good dollop of Portugallo spicy garlic sauce. It's been hanging around my house for quite a while; so, being cautious and curious, I checked the best before date. February of 2020. I'd found something in my cupboard that has a good chance of outliving me!!!! OUCH.

[DaveinGermany]

When your mate of many moons comes round & instead of talking about going out on the bevvy, you talk about the garden & home improvements!

[Accyexplorer]

Two things happen when you get older. First, your memory goes...

...I can't remember the other.

[MargaretR]

You know you're getting old when ..
you care more about what you feel like than what you look like

[Margaret Pilkington]

That's me Margaret...and has been for quite a long time.
No longer do I walk round in shoes that chew the skin off my heels or toes...I wear what is comfortable..

I will consider myself old when I cannot run up Riley's hill(so far I can still do it without getting out of breath).
I will also consider myself old when I need to have a potful of pills to keep me going(so far..thankfully, I take nothing prescribed)

I am not quite as flexible as I used to be(that, I suppose, is a sign I am getting old)
My vision is crap too(cataract surgery will be required soon, I fear).
So if I am out and about and do not acknowledge you...please forgive me. I cannot see your face until you get ten feet from me.

[Gordon Booth]

You know you're getting old when-
You realise your own 'Best Before' date was about 10 years ago.

[Accyexplorer]

You know you're getting old when ...

...you can attribute "shake,rattle and roll" to getting out of bed....

...or when that patch of ice outside the post office is scarier than going into town on a Friday/Sat night.

[Eric]

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth

You know you're getting old when-
You realise your own 'Best Before' date was about 10 years ago.

On my last birthday, one of our Australian friends ... I can't remember whether it was Dotti or Irene (memory's going) ... congratulated me on reaching my Biblical best-before date.

[Retlaw]

Originally Posted by Gordon Booth

You know you're getting old when-
You realise your own 'Best Before' date was about 10 years ago.

In my case it were 20 years ago, a con tell thee one thing, there' nowt clever about gettin owd, thony good thing is I'm still pushing blankets back an not scratin thinside of a coffin lid, but some mornings ids bloody hard work shuvin blankets back. Its bin a hell of a long time since were out of it before 1/2 past 10

[Margaret Pilkington]

Originally Posted by Retlaw

In my case it were 20 years ago, a con tell thee one thing, there' nowt clever about gettin owd,

It sure beats the hell out of the alternative.

[yerself]

Originally Posted by Accyexplorer

Two things happen when you get older. First, your memory goes...

...I can't remember the other.

Who's been reading his copy of "The wit of Norman Wisdom" then?

[dotti34]

A young man approached me in the post office the other day and asked if I would witness his signature on an official document. As I didn’t know him I hesitated (you can’t be too careful these days) but the woman who works there assured me that I didn’t need to know him – just had to watch him sign and then add my name as witness.

So I said I would but while I was watching him sign his name the man said ‘I looked around for an elderly person as an elderly person can be trusted’. I kept quiet. Then he said ‘I have a lot of respect for elderly people and I thought now there’s an elderly person who will help me’. I still held my tongue, but when he mentioned ‘elderly’ AGAIN I said ‘listen duckie, cut out the elderly crap or I’m out of here’.

I don’t need strangers to remind me – the old woman in the mirror does just that!!!!!

[Margaret Pilkington]

I would have crossed out my signature and told him that as my mental age was only 14,I was not eligible to sign anything.....then I would have told him to (something which rhymes with hiss) 'off'.

[Margaret Pilkington]

What these young whipper snappers forget is,that inside every older person is the young person that they used to be, wondering where in tarnation the time went......and that it will come to them far sooner than they think(that is,if they are lucky enough).