bullying - Page 4

fc:stanley · 22-06-2008, 22:34

The bullys arnt that stupid to stop if you ignore them. Yes there not getting a reaction however they know if you ignore it and dont say anything its getting to you either way! The best way is to stand up to them! Just tell ur daughter to tell them " do you actually think your getting at me?" and just laugh at them. Fight fire with fire! Im sure shes not totally perfect! (the bully)

emamum · 22-06-2008, 23:27

go to the school secretary and ask them for a copy of their policy on bullying (they cant say no btw) also ask for a copy of their code of practice for the policy (they might not let you see that, they dont have to).....

after you have read that THEN go and see the head.. the policy will tell you exactly what the school is promising they will do and you will be better informed and they will not be able to fob you off.....

what ever the policy says they will do INSIST that they do it... you will need to have proof that it is bullying and not just nastyness (there is a difference) keeps logs of everything, copies of texts etc and take them with you.

Bonnyboy · 22-06-2008, 23:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

go to the school secretary and ask them for a copy of their policy on bullying (they cant say no btw) also ask for a copy of their code of practice for the policy (they might not let you see that, they dont have to).....

after you have read that THEN go and see the head.. the policy will tell you exactly what the school is promising they will do and you will be better informed and they will not be able to fob you off.....

what ever the policy says they will do INSIST that they do it... you will need to have proof that it is bullying and not just nastyness (there is a difference) keeps logs of everything, copies of texts etc and take them with you.

At what point would you say nastiness becomes bullying ?

jaysay · 23-06-2008, 09:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bonnyboy

At what point would you say nastiness becomes bullying ?

I think the thing is BB that words can be just as bad as being thumped, especially when there's a bunch of them at it, no kid should be scared of going to school, as this is the most important time of their lives, get it wrong and it effects the rest of their lives

emamum · 23-06-2008, 09:59

ok... a child goes to school and someone says something nasty to him or pushes him over or teases him, which upsets him... ....THIS is not bullying, this is nastyness. If it happens everyday and the other child goes out of their way to be nasty then thats bullying.

We all want to protect our children but some parents will shout bullying after 1 day....schools wont class it as bullying until its gone on for at least a week.

before anyone has a go, im not saying that nastyness should be ignored, im just saying its not bullying.

my advice is always speak to the school... your child wont want you to for fear of it getting worse and tbh it probably will... carry on going in and telling the school and eventually they will realise they wont get away with it. Just take extra precautiohns like walking your child to and from school.. making sure the other teachers are aware in case they are yard duty so they can keep an eye on them (this will also provide proof) or ask the school to find your child a buddy from a higher year that will hang round with them at play time.

accyman · 23-06-2008, 12:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by blazey

I

I think parents who encourage their children to 'hit them back' should do so cautiously, because acting like the bully doesn't encessarily solve the problem, and can make some victims of bullies end up bullying others themselves, like the first type of bully, or end up like the second type of bully with the 'if you cant beat them, join them' type of attitude.

I don't think any sort of violence solves anything.

hitting back is not behaving like a bully it is defending your self and violence does sort things out especialy when dealing with bullies, the world isnt a rosey place where people discuss their feelings and appologise to each other and occasionaly a good thump on somoeones nose can solve a whole load of problems, it isnt a perfect system but im glad my son punched his bullies lights out and i would tell him to do again , my son is NOT a bully but he has my full backing if he ever gets in trouble at school for defending himself

bullies get away with a lot of things before they are eventualy sorted out yet some people condem a poor victim of bullying for lashing out just the once

emamum · 23-06-2008, 12:09

unfortunately fighting back could have got him expelled....

accyman · 23-06-2008, 12:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

unfortunately fighting back could have got him expelled....

as i said in my earlier post i would rather see him expelled for defending himself than suffer from bullying

emamum · 23-06-2008, 13:20

but then your child will be labelled as violent and other schools wont want him.

Neil · 23-06-2008, 13:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

unfortunately fighting back could have got him expelled....

Which is pathetic and any head that did that should be sacked for failing the victim of the bully who needed to defend themselves in the first place by not adequately protecting the children in his/her care.

emamum · 23-06-2008, 13:43

yes but.... if your child punches another child during school time that can be proved and the parents will probably be onto them as well...... bullying can be very difficult to prove.

children are told not to fight back but to go to a teacher...

panther · 23-06-2008, 17:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by emamum23

but then your child will be labelled as violent and other schools wont want him.

For hitting back?

sorry but this is why bullys get away with it......if ya gonna stand there and take it then the bully will do it even more, but if ya punch the git before he has chance to hit ya, then the little git will stop...full stop!...and i dont think it labels the innocent one as violent, he/she is just defending themselves

emamum · 23-06-2008, 18:04

they are told not to fight back and they will be punished for it.....

not my opinion btw, just the way it is...

panther · 23-06-2008, 18:08

Yep i know what ya mean.....

I tell my kids if anyone touches ya, then either give a right hook, or tell me, telling the teachers IMO is a waste of time

AccyLass · 23-06-2008, 18:13

I don't think ALL schools help with matters of bullying

My daughters school for instance:

When a class is doing something and 1 child is playing up,
the whole class gets punished

In my opinion, this causes other children to pick on/bully the child that got the whole class to stay behind,
miss out on play, minus house points, whatever

The children that get punished for somet that one person has done are not gonna be very nice to that child,
who can blame them
But this shouldn't be allowed to happen

They should just punish that one child, cos they think it's a game when the whole class
gets done for somet they did, but if they gotta sit on their own away from it all then they'll learn