bullying

hedman2003 · 19-01-2008, 08:50

My 13 year old daughter is being bullied by another girl of a similar age mostly verbal but there have been instances were she has been followed home from school and abused.

the bully no longer attends my daughters school so it's not a school issue, we've confronted the bully in person following a recent mobile conversation when the bully interrupted a call between my daughter and her mates and again abused her. My daughter greatly values her friendships and is caring and sensitive

It's a real shame through Primary School ther were really good mates and had sleepovers etc but when confronted she became a wild child and abusive to us

Were do we go from here, should we go and see her Mum who she no longer lives with to voice our concerns. If they were both at the same school then i would raise it with the school. I will not tolerate bullying in any form

advice please

pipinfort · 19-01-2008, 08:59

personally i would start by approaching the bully`s mother (if she is approachable at all) and have a word.

lettie · 19-01-2008, 09:06

I would be inclined to approach the bully's mum but if she no longer lives with her mum then this may be part of the problem. Who does she live with?

pipinfort · 19-01-2008, 09:07

yes, who does she live with?

hedman2003 · 19-01-2008, 09:17

Not sure possibly her dad, she no longer lives locally (which is something of a relief) but does visit. I know her parents split up some while ago.

MargaretR · 19-01-2008, 10:40

The bully is likely to be jealous of your daughter because your daughter appears to be having a better time of things. If your daughter can be told that, she might feel less intimidated by the verbal jaunts. If the bully feels pitied and can see the bullying is having no effect it might stop.

grego · 19-01-2008, 11:10

Its a difficult one and must be terrible for your daughter, I'd be inclined to ask the school for advice even though the girl doesn't go there, a lot of schools now have policies on bullying and may be able to advise you on how best to tackle it.

lancsdave · 19-01-2008, 11:13

"The age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales is 10 so if people who are bullying you are older than that your parents could make a complaint to the police. Hitting or kicking you is an assault and calling you names or making rude gestures to you over and over again could be harassment.</SPAN>

It's not easy for the police to know who is telling the truth so if you are bullied like this keep a diary of who says and does what and also who else was there and saw what was going on."

Taken from this site

Bullying outside school

pipinfort · 19-01-2008, 11:31

makes an interesting read lancsdave.

panther · 19-01-2008, 11:34

im gonna say what people would not like, but if it was my daughter im afraid i would have to either scare the living **** out of the little cow or confront the mother/father and warn her/him to tell their daughter to back off....or else

.......(thats if a reasonable conversation didnt do nothing)...and that i would do the same to her what shes doing to my daughter.
ok, i know a lot of you will disagree with this but you have to stand up to these scum bags (sorry but i HATE bullies), and if anyone ever did this to my kids then one thing i have to say is.....GOD HELP THEM!

hedman2003 · 19-01-2008, 12:07

thanks for the prompt responses and particularly the website details. I think I'l pose the same question on the bullying website ask for peoples experiences if they have contacted the parents

lancsdave · 19-01-2008, 12:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by panther

im gonna say what people would not like,

The link I posted was how to do it by the book, the reality may be different for a lot of us

derekgas · 19-01-2008, 14:23

I taught my kids that when people say nasty things or make snide comments, answer 'yeah ok' and keep walking, it works because the bully isn't getting a rise out of them, I would approach the mother though, if the girl is living with the father, the mother will probably enjoy having a dig at him about how he raises her.

blazey · 19-01-2008, 15:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by derekgas

I taught my kids that when people say nasty things or make snide comments, answer 'yeah ok' and keep walking, it works because the bully isn't getting a rise out of them, I would approach the mother though, if the girl is living with the father, the mother will probably enjoy having a dig at him about how he raises her.

I did that and got beaten up on the way home by a gang of girls. The police told me there was no point taking them to court either because of how lightly they'd get off and it wouldn't likely deter them from bullying other people.

If you yourself confront the bully they will know you cant harm them, so they will probably only feel more powerful. There tends to be a security issue with the bully themself, most likely in this situation because of her parents splitting up.

I dont have a suggestion at what to do, because its more likely you wont do much good by talking to either mother or child. Just encourage your daughter and tell her to hold her head high.

broadhurst7173 · 19-01-2008, 15:46

its definately no excuse but maybe the bully is jealous of your daughter because she still has a happy settled home life and hers has just broken up, i would go and see her mother and if you get no joy go and see her guardian, please dont let it carry on my daughter took an overdose at fourteen because she was being bullied over her being dyslexic, thankfuly she was found and is now nearly eighteen and at college but it could of had a very differant outcome.