Mother Goose ...

Eric · 08-04-2007, 22:01

I'm hanging around home and my computer because the weather is so DAMNED AWFUL. So, I need some advice, the sillier the better. I looked out of the window this morning and saw that I had guests on my lawn. Two Canada geese have taken up temporary residence ... they will leave to raise their family soon. But as all you bird experts know, these are real pushy birds, quite aggressive (although these two seemed friendly enough after a loaf or two of bread), very noisy, and, how shall I put it, prone to frequent and messy defacation. Advice please, and try not to make too much sense.

katex · 08-04-2007, 22:13

Exactly what do you require advice on Eric ?

How to get rid of them ?
How to feed them ?
How to clear up their defecations ?
How to cull them ? Now considered vermin over here.

Every year used to get one pair mating and producing at least 5 offspring .. they used my lawn as their second home aside from the water. We learnt to respect each other and definitely on nodding acquaintances.

Yes, they do make a mess don't they ?
.. large dollops so to speak, gets in the blades of your mower.

The goslings grow at a fast rate and can look really ugly after about 5 weeks with long legs and still half down feathers.

Never fed them as enough food available from the lodge.
Haven't had any for 3 years and must say am quite disappointed, so send 'em over to me .. miss them.

katex · 08-04-2007, 22:32

Or maybe how to cook them !

Eric · 08-04-2007, 22:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by katex

Or maybe how to cook them !

Nice idea ... but the Canada goose is sort of a national symbol, like the gopher, the beaver, and the blood-spattered baby seal. Also, there are silly laws about discahrging firearms in the city limits, unless of course one is robbing a bank. I could wring their necks, but I haven't seen a decent wringer since my gran's time. I do have a baseball bat, but I want to be sure that I come out on the winning side ... maybe I could feed them a couple of Holland's meat pies (if they still exist) and they would s**t themselves to death.

mrskitty · 08-04-2007, 22:46

The sillier the better huh......hmm......
Sit on your lawn in just a pair of wellies and sunglasses and preen them whilst listening to classical music.
Tie bows around them and paint there toe nails,encourage them to wolf whistle and lick their beaks seductively.
As for the mess-teach them to use the poo parlour division

As for "try not to make too much sense"-I dont.

ooh funny mood alert

Eric · 08-04-2007, 23:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

The sillier the better huh......hmm......
Sit on your lawn in just a pair of wellies and sunglasses and preen them whilst listening to classical music.
Tie bows around them and paint there toe nails,encourage them to wolf whistle and lick their beaks seductively.
As for the mess-teach them to use the poo parlour division

As for "try not to make too much sense"-I dont.

ooh funny mood alert

Nope, didn't work ... anyway most people in Kingston sit on their lawns in wellies sunglasses and nowt else ... the geese are used to it. Anyway geese don't go for the seductive bs, they mate for life, and are too puritanical for toe nail paint.

mrskitty · 09-04-2007, 00:05

Have you tried feeding them some books?

Eric · 09-04-2007, 00:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

Have you tried feeding them some books?

No .. I don't want them to feel a tome; I want them to leave.

steeljack · 09-04-2007, 03:28

Are these the things that you canucks call loonies , or is a loony something else ?

Eric · 09-04-2007, 20:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by steeljack

Are these the things that you canucks call loonies , or is a loony something else ?

Nice ... a loonie is a one dollar coin so named for the picture of a loon on the back (or if you are anti-monarchy on the front). OR, depending on the spelling, someone from Ossy (but not my gran).

mrskitty · 09-04-2007, 21:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric

No .. I don't want them to feel a tome; I want them to leave.

Oh dear-you been exchanging jokes with my dear grandfather

How about borrowing someones camel and chasing them away?

Eric · 10-04-2007, 00:22

Camels come in packs of 20. They have a new ad slogan: "90% of the men who have tried Camels actually prefer women."

If it's a choice between camel dung and goose turds, mmm, I don't know.

But all is well ... the geese left. Now, if only I could get rid of the racoon that attacks my garbage every night .....

mrskitty · 10-04-2007, 10:45

Now your just pushing your luck

Eric · 10-04-2007, 14:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty

Now your just pushing your luck

I know that ... if the racoon moves out a family of skunks will move in

Maybe I could send some skunks to Accy ... you guys don't know what you are missing.

mrskitty · 10-04-2007, 19:53

Believe me theres enough skanks over here already.......oh sorry did u say skunks...my apologies.

Actually theres quite a few nice people but thats off topic.....