Remember when you were at school who was the biggest bully? It wasn't one of the older kids though some of them could be rather nasty, no it was that strange & twisted person that was all muscle & no brain
The P.E. teacher!
We can probably all remember the strange ways these people had to make life hell for the poor delicate flowers that were put into their care namely the children. Lots of people on this site have in various threads made a comment such as bring back corporal punishment it will give greater control to the schools, but that idea must
never ever be applied to those de-ranged b*stards.
We can all re-call tales of the over generous use of the plimsoll to a rear end protected only by a thin pair of shorts. Every P.E. teacher I ever met had a unique way of making life hell.
One I remember, if while doing warm up excercises for gymnastics some-one broke wind he would demand to know who did it (and God help the culprit if they didn't own up) would then get every-one else in the class to form a circle around the guilty party, bend over facing him (The culprit), then he would shout out "DEEP BREATHING EXCERCISES BEGIN".
However sometimes revenge is sweet below is a true story about a friend of mine:-
This chap Peter, was on the portly side. The
chip shop near to where we worked also had kids from
the local school come in at lunch times, Peter was in
the queue behind the kids waiting patiently when in comes the
schools P.E. teacher & jumps straight to the front of
every-one pushing a fat boy out of the way with the
words, "out of my way Johnson your fat enough!"
My Friend went over to him & said, "excuse me what do
you think your doing?".
" I'm just getting some chips why?"
"Because said my friend when I was at school I was the
fat boy bullied by the P.E. teacher, but now I'm grown
up I don't expect you to have the bad manners to push
in front of the rest of us so either get to the back
of the queue or else I'll sit on you & make you do 100
press ups.".
The P.E. teacher suddenly remembered he
needed to be somewhere else.
Unfortunately for Peter this episode meant that whenever
we wanted chips for lunch he would have to go to the chippy
because he had become a kind of folk hero with the kids
and whenever he walked into the shop they would tell him to
go straight to the front of the queue.