Weddings /'Over the brush' - Page 2

cherokee · 21-09-2006, 00:27

well im all for marriage done it twice, 1st was 13 yrs lived with both my hubbys before tyin the knot but must admit i get comfort from that bit of paper sayin we,re legal , im not against livin together and would never push my kids into marriage infact would recommend they live together for a yr or two but i do personally think that if you comfortable with each other then go for it . marriage is so easy to get into but a damn sight harder to get out of .

katex · 21-09-2006, 00:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by cherokee

marriage is easy to get into but a damn sight hardter to get out of .

Just wondered cherokee if 'partnerships' are easier to get out of then ?

Genuine question, you understand, got out of a marriage, so no experience on t'other.

cherokee · 21-09-2006, 00:48

emotionally i would say no they re not, living together/married still same feelings but in my opinion its harder to settle things when you,ve been married because everything becomes ours as opposed to yours and mine .. thats just my opinion katex others might think differently

katex · 21-09-2006, 01:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by cherokee

emotionally i would say no they re not, living together/married still same feelings but in my opinion its harder to settle things when you,ve been married because everything becomes ours as opposed to yours and mine .. thats just my opinion katex others might think differently

Think that is what I was trying to prompt you to say. The emotional bit isn't any easier then? and,in the equation of things, can do the same damage as the materialistic side ?

cherokee · 21-09-2006, 01:08

think most definately katex did live with someone when i was young and when we separated it hurt just as much as when my marriage broke down but didnt have the hassle of sortin materialistic things out as it was either mine or his and was quite cut and dry

Ianto.W. · 21-09-2006, 11:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

That needs looking into

Let me know if you find out anything, I mighnt take up number two's offer of a quickie 'divorce' I mean, could qualify for pension credit to just think another two pints a week.

pendy · 21-09-2006, 14:05

Whether you have your own pension or not depends on whether you have opted into the system. If you're a married woman who hasn't worked since marriage, or opted for the "married woman's stamp", then you will have little or no State pension. If, however, you have worked throughout your married life, you will get your own pension in your own right.

I've been married twice and have now lived "over the brush" for the last six years. I think a lot depends on whether you want/intend to have children and if you do, marriage is a safer bet from all points of view. At my age, it doesn't occur! I'm not keen on the word "partner" but how else do you describe your "other half" if you aren't married? No great moral thoughts about it, but there is a big difference between couples who stay together for years albeit unmarried, and those who go from one live-in relationship to another, often collecting a child per relationship along the way.

Working in divorce gives you a different slant as well - believe me!

As for not being able to afford to get married, what means more - the relationship or the big wedding? If the latter, you're on a sticky wicket to start with.

AccyJay · 21-09-2006, 14:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by pendy

As for not being able to afford to get married, what means more - the relationship or the big wedding? If the latter, you're on a sticky wicket to start with.

I think when people say that they can't afford to get married, it's because they want a big wedding. Most people think this way, because they only intend to get married once, & therefore, want the day to be extra special & memorable. It's a day to be celebrated by all their family & friends.

WillowTheWhisp · 21-09-2006, 14:32

I've been married twice. (My first husband died.) Both weddings were quite 'big' in terms of being dressed up and having the whole church thung with organ and bridesmaids etc. For the first one we even had a pony and trap to bring me to the church but neither event really broke the bank because most of it was done by friends - even the dresses and I think my girls looked a treat when I married Busman.

You can still have a memorable day without spending a fortune on it although we did have a few hairy moments when we didn't think we had an organist.

AccyJay · 21-09-2006, 15:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

You can still have a memorable day without spending a fortune on it although we did have a few hairy moments when we didn't think we had an organist.

Fair play to you. Maybe it's just a popular misconception that big weddings = big budget.

You should start your own business - Cheap but Cheerful weddings. lol

cashman · 22-09-2006, 00:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by WillowTheWhisp

That needs looking into

i'm quoting what i have been told, a lady near us and her partner, have SEPARATE houses, say that in this instance their 2 pensions equate to more than a married pension. i don't honestly know,but i sure as hell intend to find out in the not to distant future.

ANNE · 09-10-2006, 22:35

Your right right Willow jumping over the broom ( Living over the brush ) was originally a Pagan custom.
There was no chance of me and Mick living over the brush in the early 70s. I was 16 and he was 18. We were given just six months before we split up I think that 33yrs later we have proved them all wrong.

Steph · 10-10-2006, 00:44

Well i'm getting married to reidy next year. We have been together for five years and got 1 child. Only just decided that marriage is the next step.

We have been booking everything now because august bank holiday is a difficult time and i can't believe the amount it is costing. I could really do with another five years to save up for it but then if that was the case, noone would ever get married.

By the way I had my child out of wedlock and have been living with my partner, and am still getting married in my catholic church. I do go to church at the weekend but times have moved on and changed from what they used to be. My husband to be is not even baptised a catholic and doesn't need to be.

katex · 10-10-2006, 18:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by pendy

Whether you have your own pension or not depends on whether you have opted into the system. If you're a married woman who hasn't worked since marriage, or opted for the "married woman's stamp", then you will have little or no State pension. If, however, you have worked throughout your married life, you will get your own pension in your own right.

Whilst staying with my friends on holiday recently, they were sorting out their state pensions and did happen to throw in that if you were not married, then your pension could not be left to ' a partner' and joked that is why my friend hurriedly married her 'ex' again. If true, better start thinking about this Pendy ..

Margaret Pilkington · 10-10-2006, 19:45

I married at 19....The wedding was done on a shoe string......seventeen and sixpence for the licence.....two pounds ten shillings for the taxi to take the whole of the wedding party up to the Haslingden Register Office......Bride Groom and two witnesses. My wedding outfit came to the grand total of twelve pounds.......someone gave us a bottle of bubbly which was left over from their daughters wedding....someone else gave us a tier from a wedding cake.......we didn't have a reception and our honeymoon was a daytrip to Blackpool...with chips walking along the sea front. My father said he would give the whole thing six months! 25 years later he handed me some Hong Kong Dollars and a Silver Tea Service and congratulated me 'been a bloody long six months Dad' I told him....he grinned. Last Tuesday me and the old feller clocked up 40 years married. So it can't have been bad luck to see the bride before we got maried....or can it?