Weddings /'Over the brush'

katex · 13-08-2006, 22:20

I just love weddings, went to one yesterday, cried myself silly as the lovely bride walked down the aisle and said her vows at the alter.

Glad to see that the Accy Observer is now giving space to local weddings again, seemed to be a bit thin on the ground for a long while, and I love to read them.

Have you noticed how times have changed though ? At the end of each report, most end with Mr & Mrs Bloggs 'will continue to live at Somewhere Avenue' The bride's son, who acted as page boy, was dressed in blah, blah.

Would have loved to see my Grandma's face reading these reports. Not meant to be a moralistic thread in any way whatsoever, just how times have changed.

By the way, seems 'over the brush' meaning to cohabit without being legally married, originated from an expression 'over the broomstick', from makeshift marriages performed by couples jumping over a broomstick.

morgan_brotherz · 13-08-2006, 22:30

Just out of interest.. the wedding wasnt Lindsay & Simons was it?

jambutty · 16-08-2006, 11:28

Quote:

By the way, seems 'over the brush' meaning to cohabit without being legally married, originated from an expression 'over the broomstick', from makeshift marriages performed by couples jumping over a broomstick.

I believe that “Jump The Broomstick” was a tradition of the Negro slaves in the West Indies and America because being slaves they had no rights at all so couldn’t get married in the same way that the plantation and slave owners could. So when a couple of slaves wanted to get ‘married’ they had a ceremony that included jumping over a broomstick that was sometimes placed at the threshold of the room that they would live in.

If memory serves me well this ceremony was demonstrated in the excellent TV programme Roots.

West Ender · 16-08-2006, 17:28

It seems to be very rare, these days, for the bride and groom not to live together before the wedding. It also seems rare for couples to delay having children until after the ceremony. I work with a girl who is desperately "trying for a baby" (I love that phrase, it conjours up such wonderful images

). She's been living with her partner for 6 months. Wedding? Ooh, no, she can't afford to get married yet.

I don't understand this way of thinking. It's not a question of morals but one of commitment. "We don't need a piece of paper" seems to me to be another way of saying, "We don't want to be, legally, tied down".

It used to be something of a disgrace to live "over the brush" and those who did, generally, kept it quiet. The "shotgun" wedding was quite common too. If a girl became pregnant her boyfriend rarely had any option - he had to marry her before the child was born otherwise that child was stigmatised, not that I would like to see a return to that attitude.

katex · 16-08-2006, 17:44

I was one of those with a 'shotgun' wedding even in 1964 .. just about made it, but didn't have to. My Mum and Dad said would support me if I decided against it.. but I didn't. Even though I am divorced, was married for 24 years, so didn't do too badly.

Lots of my friends and associates live together now rather than marry, which is considered OK by today's standards and yes, that's fine. I hate the word 'partner' though.

Don't think I would have ever done it, (never say never though, eh ?

) but not from a moralistic point of view, just think what's the point ? Might as well be married. Good to still have your space and not have the bother of pandering to another person's needs, like the cooking, washing, worry of heavier bills, etc. Stay with your Mum and Dad, and still see your girl/boy-friend.

Ianto.W. · 17-09-2006, 22:43

Your begining to bring tears to my eyes luv,our generation had more respect for common values not common law wives, if there good
enough to live with, have children with, their goog enough to wed.
Remember that one "and the happy couple honeymooned on the west coast" even good olb Blackpool were posh then. Happy days.

katex · 17-09-2006, 22:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ianto.W.

Your begining to bring tears to my eyes luv,our generation had more respect for common values not common law wives, if there good
enough to live with, have children with, their goog enough to wed.

For once, Ian, have to search my inner thoughts and try desperately not to 'a**hole' by agreeing with ya'

slinky · 17-09-2006, 23:10

Well I married Ginger when I was 16 years young

He was a ow'd ****** ( 19 years old )

A hell of a lot of people laughed when we told them, and a hell of alot of people said " haha yeah see ya in 6 month for the divorce party ".

That was 10 years ago on the 26th October.

Not saying that married life has been a walk in the park, because like any marriage whether you're 16 years old or 96 years old, marriage has to be worked at........... and it's whether you can work through it that counts.

At a young age we have had to come through difficult times!! BUT we have out done the difficult times with the BLOODY good times and good laugh's we have had..............

Hopefully I will be posting on here in another 10 years telling the same story

Ianto.W. · 17-09-2006, 23:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by katex

For once, Ian, have to search my inner thoughts and try desperately not to 'a**hole' by agreeing with ya'

I don't know how I kept a straight face writing that Kate, but rights-right
poor kid's dont even know which one's dad, my grand kid's dont, thirteen
of them nine diferent fathers, not my idea of doing right.
Tell you what it's good crack this column, I try and keep out of trouble.

.Chin Chin.

WillowTheWhisp · 18-09-2006, 07:17

Doesn't "over the brush" have pagan origins too? I'm sure I remember somebody telling me that they had a pagan wedding and jumped over a broomstick. There's something in the back of my mind about gypsys too. The trouble is that once something is claimed as having origins in slavery any mention of it is then classed as racism and we lose parts of our own heritage.

I'm saddened by the way things have changed over the years and the way many people don't really seem to commit themselves to long-term relationships. I feel so sorry for the chuldren who grow up confused with so many different Dads in one family.

Ianto.W. · 18-09-2006, 21:10

I'd like to know you get divorced from over the brush, do you have to get a certificate off the mayor of Barnoldswick, my mum said that's were you whent to live over the brush.

cashman · 20-09-2006, 00:09

over the brush? is it not correct that a couple who are over the brush get 2 single old age pensions? is it not correct that a married couple get less? if these facts are correct i rest my case.

WillowTheWhisp · 20-09-2006, 06:46

That needs looking into

junetta · 20-09-2006, 23:42

I don't think they do Cash. They have to declare it if they are 'partners' and then receive the same pension as a married couple..........or so I'm told! (not quite old enough for a pension yet).

How same sex couples fare, I know not!

cashman · 21-09-2006, 00:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by junetta

I don't think they do Cash. They have to declare it if they are 'partners' and then receive the same pension as a married couple..........or so I'm told! (not quite old enough for a pension yet).

How same sex couples fare, I know not!

not sure junetta? i am sure though theres a lot of things should be declared,but aren,t.