Boring 0-0 England Holland

Bazf · 11-02-2005, 03:42

I Could Do Sven's Job
What does SGE actually do? As far as I can ascertain he travels around England watching the top games from the comfort of the Directors' Box (I can do that). He picks the same team (more or less) every game - regardless of form or ability (I can do that). When he occasionally brings in a new player, it's the player that the Sun/Mirror/NOTW chief football writers have been clamouring for (I can do that). Having tinkered with the diamond formation he now sticks (regardless of opposition) to 4-4-2 (I can do that). When on the sidelines he says nothing and does nothing for 80 minutes - and then brings on either another striker (if England are losing) or a defensive midfielder (if the team are winning or drawing) - I can do that. He occasionally has a crack at some dusky maiden (usually, but not exclusively an FA employee) - I'm prepared to give that a go. I'd be more lucid at press conferences and certainly be prepared to crack a few jokes.

So overall I'm a better candidate to be England manager than Sven, and I'm prepared to do it for a full £1m less than Sven pulls down each year.

I'll be by the phone, if Mr Barwick wants to give me a tinkle.

mthead · 11-02-2005, 10:09

well said bazf. Although on the bright side last time we played Holland in friendly lost 1-0 and next game went on to beat the "Hun" 5-1 in Munich.

Bazf · 11-02-2005, 20:40

Well at least we didnt lose this time but what a boring match I thought I had switched to a Rovers game.It was only when I saw nobody limping or being carried off on a stretcher that it couldnt be Rovers plus of course no one from Blackburn would have made even the 3rd team for England.

mthead · 12-02-2005, 01:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bazf

Well at least we didnt lose this time but what a boring match I thought I had switched to a Rovers game.It was only when I saw nobody limping or being carried off on a stretcher that it couldnt be Rovers plus of course no one from Blackburn would have made even the 3rd team for England.

yes LOL still got the souness influence LOL

Cafu01 · 12-02-2005, 23:45

absolute borin match, one of worst i have seen

Bazf · 15-02-2005, 16:25

In an unannonced memo Sven has decided to experiment with the England team in all his friendlies, the tinkering Swede says the plot is not lost it is just been put some where he cant find it at the moment and please call back on thursday!

Top of the list is Wayne Rooney who Concerned with his temperament when outside the penalty area, Sven has decided that the teenager’s best position is in goal Where he can punch people legally.
He will be joined by a back four of Paul Robinson, little Michael Owen, even littler Jermaine Defoe, whilst David James is rewarded for his kamikaze runs outside the box with a place at left back.
As his successful lone-striker role at Palace suggests, Andy Johnson keeps his place on the right wing. Whilst thanks to his Forrest Gump runs down the wing, Gary Neville has been given the role of the think-tank of the midfield.
Keen to defend from the front, Jamie Carragher has been chosen as the first of three strikers. Phil Neville gets his token cap as part of the national team’s ‘care in the community’ programme, with the most ambitious, shocking and unjustifiable experiment completing the strikeforce, that's right: Emile Heskey.
Sven would also like you to note that his ability to pick captains for the national team is not based on whos name he can prononce.