insults

Bazf · 19-12-2004, 18:56

Just been sent this in an email............

Reacting to a report that brain cells are damaged by heading the ball:
“I don’t think heading the ball has got anything to do with it. Footballers are stupid enough anyway.”
Premier League spokesman, 1995.

“Footballers are only interested in drinking, clothes, and the size of their willies.”
Karren Brady (1994) - who incidentally is managing director of Birmingham City and now married to a footballer.

“One triple vodka,
There’s only one triple vodka.”
To the tune of Los Tres Paraguayos’ 1970s hit ‘Guantanamera’, Middlesbrough fans help Tony Adams with his alcohol problem.

“Somebody compared him to Billy McNeil, but I don’t remember Billy being crap.”
Tommy Docherty on Rangers’ Italian Lorenzo Amoruso, May 2000.

“The bad news for Saddam Hussein is that he’s just been sentenced to the death penalty.” The good news for Saddam is that David Beckham is taking it.

“Only if there’s an outbreak of bubonic plague.”
Italy boss Trapattoni on Paulo Di Canio’s chances of making his World Cup side. 2002.

“I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.”
Jasper Carrott.

“Stone me! We’ve had cocaine, bribery and Arsenal scoring two goals at home. But just when you thought there were no surprises left in football, Vinnie Jones turns out to be an international player.”
Jimmy Greaves, 1994.

“You are talking about a man who spelt his name wrong on his transfer request.”
Gary Megson on Jason Roberts.

“If David Seaman’s dad had worn a condom, we’d still be in the World Cup.”
Nick Hancock, 2004.

Sparkologist · 19-12-2004, 19:08

One of the best put-downs I heard came from Ron Atkinson.

He once remarked of Carlton Palmer's footballing prowess, "He can trap a ball further than I can kick it!"

He wasn't wrong.

Bazf · 19-12-2004, 22:10

There must be some great ones out there some of the ones I love............

"I'm particularly unimpressed with the big midfielder Effenberg, who has been renamed in our house as Effenuseless."
- PETER CORRIGAN, Independent on Sunday correspondent on former German player Stefan Effenberg

"When Alex Ferguson pats you on the back, he's just looking for a spot to stick the knife."
- Juan Veron
"I once said Gazza's IQ was less than his shirt number and he asked me: 'What's an IQ?' "
- GEORGE BEST on controversial soccer star Paul Gascoigne

Fearon1 · 20-12-2004, 20:33

hehehhe some good 1's in there

Bagpuss · 20-12-2004, 21:22

This quote was in todays Daily Mirror but I can't remember who said it:
"There is no better sight in football today than when Thierry Henry opens his legs and comes on to the ball".

Gobsmacked · 20-12-2004, 22:51

Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit but it's often the funniest.

Mik Dickinson · 22-01-2005, 19:40

Another one was that Tony Blair was sending a present to the funeral of Yassar Arrafat and it would be an England shirt with the number 8 on the back.When asked what the significance of this was Tony replied.
Yassar Arrafat always said he wanted to be buried in the Gazza strip