Kewell injured again

[Bazf]

Liverpool winger Harry Kewell suffered serious multiple paper-cuts reading through the reams of documents relating to his libel case against former England star, Gary Lineker.

Kewell's solicitor, Chris Farnell said, "I have worked in this profession for many years and I have had many paper-cuts myself, but this is the worst I have ever seen."

Mr. Farnell said some of his office staff became quite ill, looking at Kewell's fingers, and had to be rushed to hospital. "I have never seen such carnage, such blood. Harry really wanted to read on, but after twenty-two minutes it was obvious the lad just could not continue. He gave his all in the cause of this trial, but the fates were really against him. It's a shame really, because he had a decent chance of contributing, having just returned from a season long case of hysterical dyslexia."

Rumours that Kewell was seen celebrating, doing handstands, after the trial have not been confirmed. Liverpool remain hopeful that Kewell will make a full recovery, but he probably won't be available for selection until the New Year at the earliest.

A spokesman for Liverpool said its a shame that Harry keeps having these problems only last week he was looking in the mirror to have a shave and he got a strained eyelid that stopped him training for two weeks and he just recovered from a pulled pinky finger while shacking hands with the other six players sitting on the bench.

The Austrilian FA have said it is a shame Harrys a good bloke and because of the long traveling time to the UK you would expect these type of injuries he keeps getting, but its nothing to do with us we pay our players good money to go to England if we didn't we wouldn't have a good excuse for not qualifing for the world cup and would look a shambles in the eyes of the world, cobber.