Plan 9 From Outer Space...??????

[Tealeaf]

If we can assume that Rooney's only contribution to this year's World Cup will be laying on fifty thousand at Billy Hills, is there anyone here prepared to speculate on Sven's back-up plans ? Personally, I doubt he has even one.

Nevertheless, I suspect that in the next few days our Swedish clown will be hastily scribbling down on the back of some tart's love letter the various options now available to him. Of course, this is something that should have been done a long time ago, despite the fool stating he had no replacement for Gerrard, Rooney or Beckham (the latter very easily replaced)

What then, are the options? Play Crouch? Rely on the midfield? Any ideas? Surely anything will be better than what Sven may or may not come up with.

[Bazf]

Well he can ask the next England manager Mclaren, it looks like he will be named on Thursday, but is there a way he might not get forced on us?

1. After losing all three games in Germany, public outrage forces him and the rest of the England management team to flee the country as The Sun persecutes them like war criminals. In fear of their lives, he and Sven are forced to live in exile on a distant Baltic island refuge. They survive for ten years by killing Sammy Lee and roasting him on spit.

2.Gareth Southgate, so scared by the prospect of his inadequate manager being responsible for the national team, kidnaps McClaren and holds him prisoner in a Vietnam-style elaborate network of underground tunnels that he's been digging for five years in readiness for just such a situation.

3.As the pressure on McClaren increases he turns fluorescent red and spontaneously combusts in a column of fire. All that remains in a small heap of powder which is immediately snorted by a certain England defender and is declared as 'good s**t'.