2018/19 Prediction League; Game 2 v Bristol Rovers (away)

Div3North · 06-08-2018, 00:16

Bristol Rovers

V

Accrington Stanley

2018/19 Prediction League; Game 2 v Brizzle Rovers (away)

I’ll tell you what .................. after Saturday's game at Crewe it looks like it might be a cold hard winter for Morecambe!

Over the years you might have gleaned that I don’t really have much time for the Prawn Sandwich League, or for Internationals, come to that .......... Championship I can take or leave; Div One is important because that’s where we are, but my heart is in Div Two still, plus the Bananarama ....... Being away on holiday I bought a Sunday paper today, and some of the First Day stats were interesting;

1. Every single League Two game had a bigger attendance than we did (we had 2,201)
2. Only two other League One gates were under 5,000 (Burton and Fleetwood), and Sunderland’s was 31,000+, Pompey’s was 19,000+, and Coventry and Barnsley were both over 12,000
3. Aldershot, Maidstone and SalfordMoneyPots from the Main Bananarama had more on their grounds than we did, and so did Stockport (4,577) and Hereford (2,836) from the Bananarama North, with Chester having just 10 fewer than we did.............

Don’t things look quite surreal sometimes though; I couldn’t get my head round “Salford City v Leyton Orient” (1-1) ............. but let me remind you of two more scores from 2006, which went “Chester 2 Accrington Stanley 0”, and “Accrington Stanley 0 Darlington 2” ........... and where are Chester and Darlington now? And where are we? And before the disappointment turns into depression, may I also remind you all that of the teams promoted to League One last season alongside us, Luton lost 1-0 at Pompey, Coventry lost 2-1 at home to the Iron, and Wycombe shared a goalless Desmond with Blackpool .............. and of the teams who came down the Greasy Pole of Oblivion from the Championship, Barnsley won 4-0, Sunderland won 2-1 with a 90th minute steal, and Burton lost 2-1 to Rochdale; and going down a League, Bury won, Northampton lost, and the MK Dons beat Oldham , and Tranmere got a Stevenage Desmond, while Macclesfield lost 3-2 at Swindon, who scored two penalties in the 90th minute, which takes some doing! And we lost to the side who are currently 2nd in League One ...............

And the Bananarama League Table instantly took me back 60 years; it reads “Barrow, Gateshead, Halifax”. Oh Happy Days! And Leyton Orient (whose name be praised, especially by the Good Burghers of Clapton) have a keeper who is Brill, a striker who is Bonne (= good or bonny, whichever you prefer), a Defender who appears to be a Widow’s Son, a number 8 with feet of Clay, and two midfielders whose names together spell out “Lawless Brophy” – and if that isn’t a fantastic name for the Baddie in a Saturday morning Cowboy flick, you tell me what is ..................!

Next then, we’re off to play The Gas (personally I always blame it on the dog!) They went to the Posh on Saturday and lost 2-1, theirs being a 90th minute consolation (I had a Ford Consolation once, I seem to remember – fluffy dice and things), so they’re level on points with us, but ahead by virtue of having at least stuck the ball in the net (we had 60% of the play, 17 shots to Gillingham’s 11, and four on target to their 5 (plus more corners), but if you don’t score you ain’t gonna win. Seemples!)

BrizzleRov was formed in 1883 as Black Arabs FC, which would probably upset the Race Relations people if you tried to call a team that now; like many sides, they joined the League in 1920, and they’ve been there ever since, if you don’t count season 2014/15, which they spent down the Greasy Pole , which said exile in Non-League ended after the one season, courtesy of a penalty shoot-out victory over Grimsby in the Playoff Final; since March 2014 they’ve been managed by Darrell Clarke - not to be confused with Darrell L Clarke, President of the Philadelphia City Council – (at least, I don’t think it’s the same guy) - who had an 18-year long career with Mansfield, Hartlepool and Salisbury; they’ve never played in the Top Division (but then, nor have we – yet!), and their best placed finishes (twice) were 6th in the old Division 2 back in the 50s ............ but I’ve told you all this before .................. if you bothered to read it .............

And please don’t forget that they’re the bastards who scored in the 92nd minute of the last game of the season to beat the Daggers and to steal our automatic promotion place back in 2016! And I don’t care if they did get back-to-back promotions! For that piece of brazen thievery alone they unarguably deserve their nick-name of “The Pirates”; as I’ve said before, at least Dick Turpin had the good grace to wear a mask, but Revenge is a dish best served cold, and it’s not so bloody warm where I am, in the middle of a forest in Cumbria, just at this precise moment .........

They released MF Ryan Broom (gave him the brush-off, I expect), who joined Cheltenham, CB Jonny Burn to Free Agent FC, Irish striker Rory Gaffney to MoneyPots FC, winger Byron Moore (who I always thought was a great hooker for the England team) to Bury, and Ellis Harrison – a Welsh striker (I thought you only got those down the Pits?) – to Ipswich (who’ve been putting themselves about a bit this summer, n’est-ce pas?); they MutuallyConsented with Lee Brown, who high-tailed it off to Portsmouth, and German striker Kenan Dunnwald-Turan was also let go, but don’t tell Angela Merkel ............... and by the way, who saw the FB post after Germany failed to get out of their World Cup group, which just said,

“Dear Joachim Low, Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.........”

Loved it!

In, to complete (?) the squad, came MFs Sam Matthews from the Cherries and Theo Widdrington from Pompey, winger Alex Rodman from the Shrews, Scottish striker Gavin Reilly from St Mirren, Huddersfield’s LB Tareiq Holmes-Dennis, and – from MK Dons – Ed Upson, known to his mates as “Ed’s Up” (as in "Give us the ……"). Upson and Rodman started the game at the Posh, which – for the record – was The Gas’s (should that be “The Gaseouse’s”?) sixth consecutive losing start to a season ...........

Pre-season had consisted of a 6-0 win away at Melksham Town (where the hell’s that?), a 2-0 win at FC Eindhoven, a half-Desmond against Yeovil away, a 1-0 defeat at Vegan Greenpeace (who did Grimsby 4-1 on Saturday, interestingly) and a 4-0 defeat at the hands (or feet, more probably) of Exeter; this week’s starter for ten, then – who’s the current Manager of Exeter? And I’ll give you a clue – it isn’t Paul Tisdale!

They play Crawley at home in the EFL Cup on 13th August: in the EFLTroffy they’ve drawn Exeter (see above), Yeovil (see above as well), and West Ham under 9s (who won the equivalent group last season) ...............after us they play Wycombe (away), then Pompey and Southend at the Gasworks; in 2017/18 they finished 13th in League One (“Third Division” if you’re as old as me) with 59 points from 46 (W16 D11 L19 GF 60 GA66), a point behind Blackpool, two ahead of Fleetwood, and three above Donnie ................... Leading scorers in the League were Billy Bodin (who joined PNE on 3rd January 2018) with 11, MF Liam Sercombe with 10 and Ellis Harrison (see “gone to Ipswich” above) with 9 .......... no wonder they signed a striker; I think they may need one or two more yet

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 11th August ................ Their last 11 games of last season ended with one win, seven draws and three defeats; add their pre-season, and Saturday’s loss at That Nice Mr Evans’s Team (who played nine new signings and two more as subs!), and they’re on a run of 3 wins, 8 draws and 6 losses – and two of the three wins were Eindhoven and Melksham!

No-one said it was going to be easy, to be fair, and it’s one game in unsettled times, so – as Corporal Jones always exhorted - “Don’t Panic; do not panic”. After the Gas, Charlton; after them, the Ethereal Spires of Oxfud (who are plumb last in the League table, after being toasted by Barnsley), and then The Tangled Runes (“With me little stick of Blackpool Rock, Along the Promenade I stroll ......”) .......... there are some points for us in that list, I suspect ...........Cos we’re The Stanley ............and the Manager of Exeter is (Chorley-born) Matt Taylor ............... and welcome to the Wham to Matthew Platt, fresh from his years in Coronation Street. What was it like being married to Gail, Matt?

Good luck to everyone! ............ Keep the Faith! ............. And thanks for playing!