2019/20 Prediction League; Game 24 v Burton Albion (home)

Div3North · 28-12-2019, 01:44

Accrington Stanley

V

Burton Albino

2019/20 Prediction League; Game 24 v Perfidious Albion (home)

It crossed my mind, in this Season of Peace on Earth and Good Will to all Men of Either or Any Gender, that many of the Faithful Fans of Blackpool FC might have been a tad disappointed (as in “gutted”) by the fact that we picked their pockets in Boxing Day FergieTime and took all three points, and I thought that it might be nice for us to spare them a thought and a word or two in their distress; after all, who hasn’t been there? So I spent several hours this afternoon poring over Dictionaries, Almanacs, Learned Tomes and Thesaurii – which reminds me of the Very Intelligent Man who went into the Bar and asked the Barman for “a Martinus”; the Barman said, “Don’t you mean Martini, Sir?”, and the man said, “If I’d wanted two, I’d have asked for them” ……… and at the end of my Researches, I found the perfect word for us to share with Blackpool Fans in the circumstances of the game …………………………….. Mwahahahahaha!

Two defeats in two for Blackpool, then …….. and for Wycombe (see what happens when you haven’t got an available You Fat Bastard?)………… and Ipswich haven’t won in their last five …………… And Brizzle went second in the table, but managed to snatch a loss from the jaws of a victory against the Wombles so went back again to 6th …………. And currently we’re 9 points off the playoff positions, AND we’re the Form Team, being the only side not to have lost in their last five games ……… and we’ve now got a GD of nil, although there are only 7 sides with negative GDs (including Bolton on -27 and Southend (who have a total of 8 points from a possible 69 and only one win – and even Stevenage have managed two!) who are currently minus 38 and counting ………. Funny Old Game, Footie ………………….

Burton Upon Trent (in Staffordshire) is not to be confused with Bourton on the Water, which – by definition – is therefore either an Island or a Lilo ………… Burton goes back to Olden Times, and lies in the middle of a sort of UK-Bermuda Triangle, made up of Derby, Leicester and Nottingham …………. It seems that the Vikings came over on a Stag Do in the late 800s AD and wreaked (wroke?) havoc; Burton Abbey was mentioned in the Domesday Book, and King John – the one who lost his Washing – gave it a Royal Charter in 1200 (that’s Burton, not the Domesday Book) ………… and if it’s pronounced “Doomsday”, why is it spelled “Domesday”; where’s the Dome? …………… and as you’ll know, Burton’s Rich and Famous made their fortunes from (a) biscuits (b) building shop windows for people to show their bums in and (c) brewing ….

The town dominated the UK brewing trade, and apparently at its height a quarter of all beer sold in Britain was produced there; in the second half of the 19th century there was a general growth in breweries, so that by 1880 over 30 breweries were recorded in the town. At the beginning of the 20th century, though, there was a slump in beer sales, causing many breweries to fail; the industry suffered, it’s said, from the Liberal government's anti-drinking attitudes, and the number of breweries shrank from 20 in 1900 to 8 in 1928. After further mergers and buy-outs, just three main breweries remained by 1980: Bass, Ind Coope and Marston's (but other alcoholic beverages are also available)

The Albinos were formed in 1950; between then and securing League status they played in the Birmingham and District League, then the Southern League; as people moved Burton up and down the country so they moved from the Southern League to the Northern Premier (1976/77) and back to the Southern (1987/88) and back OopNorth again (2001/02) when they won the NPL by 15 points, scoring 106 goals, and joined the Bananarama (then known as the Football Conference) ……. In 2009/10, despite Roy McFarland’s efforts, they were promoted to the League; they made the play-offs in 2012/13, losing to Bratfud 5-4 over (with?) two legs, and the following year they made the Playoff Final, but lost that to The CodPieces 1-0 …….. they eventually went up to League One as Champions in 2014/15, and straight through to le Championnat in 2015/16, but after two seasons they GreasyPoled at the end of 2017/18, finishing 23rd with 41 points and a GD of -43; three more points would have seen them stay up and Bolton go down a season early …………………..

Last season they finished 9th with 63 points, 10 points and some goals off the playoffs, went out of the FA Cup to Scunthorpe in Round One (2-1 away), finished bottom of their Troffy group with one goal and nul points, and made the semi-finals of the EFL Cup (the draw for Round One of which was, for reasons beyond my understanding, made in Vietnam), promptly losing 9-0 and 1-0 to Man City …….. in the regular season they drew 1-1 at ours (goal by Billy Whizz on 84), and Did Us Big Style (5-2) at theirs (goals by McConville and Kee putting up 2-0 up at one point, but it didn’t last …………….)

They parted company with seven, best known of whom were CM Jamie Allen and CB Kyle McFadzean, both of whom were sent to Coventry, William Miller (I thought the forum had been quiet), Marcus Harness who joined Pompeii, Irish LB Damien McCrory, and Marvellous Marvin Sordell (who retired in July 2019, apparently citing his mental health and being reported as saying

"My mental health has been severely impacted throughout my career, therefore I feel it's the right time to move forward in my life.
"I have always been eager to help people who have had similar problems in their lives and going forward I'd like to be able to make a difference in football when it comes to mental wellbeing."

…….. and we wish you well in that, Marvin ……………………

They signed someone I’ve never heard of from Formartine Utd (Scottish!). CMF John-Joe O’Toole from the Cobblers, Leeds Utd’s striker Oliver Sarkic, Danny Dyer – sorry, Lloyd Dyer – from nowhere (Free Agent FC) and Crewe GK Ben Garratt …………. Three loans (an Irish GK called Kieran O’Hara from Man U, a CB (Richard Nartey) from Chelsea and a LW (Nathan Broadhead) from Everton) completed the squad …………….. their current record at home is W4 D3 L3 GF11 GA8, and away is W4 D3 L4 GF17 GA17 for an overall P21 W8 D6 L7 GF28 GA25, totalling 30 Pts and 12th place ……………. They’re out of the EFL Cup and the Troffy, and play Northampton Cobblers at home on 4th January in Round 3 of the FA Cup …………. Liam Boyce has 12 League goals, Scott Fraser has 7 and Lucas Akins has 6 …………no, neither have I (ever heard of them)

Their top goal scorers pre-League days were Stride, Round and Barker (which is a list, not an instruction) …………. League appearances list is headed by Lucas Akins on 205 ……… most expensive signing was Liam Boyce (you can see why, though) who cost them £500k ………….. Nigel Clough has been manager for well over 800 games, and they’ve also had Paulo Pasquale Peschisolido (husband of Baroness Karren Brady, which probably makes him Baron Pasquale or some such), Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, Gary Rowett and Roy McFarland in the hot seat ………….. their best League position is 20th in the Championship; biggest League win was 6-1 against Aldershot; biggest defeat was 7-1 against Brizzle and also Portly Vale; Rhino was on loan there in the same season he was first loaned to us, but only played once (a 4-1 FA Cup loss to the Cherries); Albion’s formative history includes two other Burton-based English League teams – Burton Swifts and Burton Wanderers; and the club mascots are Billy and Bettie Brewer …….. who look like poshed-up Flintstones …………………………

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Sunday 29th December …………….. “Unbeaten in 5” (six in all) plays “won their last two and scored four last time out but it was only against Tranmere” – and you might fancy us once again, n’est-ce pas? And Paul Lambert says he “doesn’t know” how much longer he’ll be Ipswich Manager, despite them being second in the table (which sounds like he may have had a Vote of Confidence from the Chairman)

And speaking of Votes of Confidence – Come On You Reds!

Good luck to everyone! ............. Keep the Faith! ............... And thanks for playing!