2019/20 Prediction League; Game 27 v Southend Utd (home)

Div3North · 17-01-2020, 01:52

Accrington Stanley

V

Southend Dis-United

2019/20 Prediction League; Game 27 v The Fall Guys (home)

This week’s starter for ten; Kazuyoshi Miura is a professional footballer in the Japanese J League; he recently signed a new contract for the 2020 season; apart from one season at Genoa and one in the Croatian League he’s played his whole career (38 years and counting) in Japan; he’s 53 at the end of February. He didn’t get many starts last season (3), which may be because it takes him a goodly while to bend over and lace his boots up, and a great deal longer to stand up again afterwards ………….. On 5 March 2017, Miura became the oldest ever player to feature in a professional match when he started in Yokohama's 1–1 draw against V-Varen Nagasaki aged 50 years and seven days; seven days later he broke the record for the oldest goal scorer in professional football, getting the only goal in a 1–0 win over Thespakusatsu Gunma. But who held the record prior to him?

Ah, Sunny Southend! Celebrating their hundredth season as an FL club (formed in 1906, joined the League in 1920), they were part of the expansion which brought Division 3 into being, and they finished 17th of 22 in their inaugural season as a League side with a home record of W13 D2 L6 and an away record of W1 D6 L14 (very similar to this season’s record!), giving them 36 points and a -17 GD ……………… their only Result on the Road that season was a 3-2 win at Crystal Palace (who went on to win the Division!) ………….. They’ve spent a total of seven years in the Second Tier and the rest in Tiers 3 & 4; currently they’re managed by Sol Campbell, whose assistants at Root’s Hall include ex Man U and Newcastle (and loads of other places including Blackburn, Sunderland, Fulham and Man C) forward Andy Cole – father of Wigan’s Devante Cole – and Hermann Hreiðarsson, who played for five different sides in the Premiership and managed to be relegated with every single one of them!

Southend went up to League One most recently by winning the 2014/15 League Two playoffs, beating Satanage 4-2 on aggregate in the semis, and then doing Wycombe 7-6 on pens after a goalless Desmond in the Final ………………. Last season they drew 6 and lost 9 of 15 coming down the straight to the sharp end of the season (which left them 22nd), but they then won two of their last three (3-2 against Burton chez eux, and 2-1 on the final day at home to Slumberland) which – combined with other results – was enough for them to finish in 19th place, on 50 points (the same as the Wombles and RelegatedPlymouthArgyle, but with a less bad GD), and safe ……………………….. This season started badly and got worse, and they’ve been 22nd (no Bury, and Bolton in minus points territory, meant they’d struggle to go lower- although they might achieve it even yet) They’d parted company (which was probably a Huge Relief) with twelve over the summer – only one of whom (Ben Coker) stayed in the EFL with Lincoln and one (Stephen Hendrie, taking a rest from billiards) who got lost on a day out and finished up in Kilmarnock ………… and this week Simon Cox, their leading scorer in each of the past three seasons, had his contract cancelled, and signed for Western Sydney Wanderers, where I hear he’s hoping to re-ignite (!) his career

They signed seven, including LB Andre Blackman, who enjoyed the place and the football so much that he left after two months, plus Weymouth striker Brandon Goodship (there’s a joke there somewhere), Burnley CB Richard Taylor, three Scottish players (one of whom is Australian and one Irish), and Liam Ridgewell from Wham – sorry, Hull …………………………………. As well we all know, they’ve so far won one, drawn seven and lost 17 of 25; at home they’ve drawn four and lost eight; away they’ve won 1, drawn 3 and lost 9; the win was in September (1-0 at the PhoneyWombles) – and their GHD is -38 (GF 27, GA 65) …………… it comes to something when their greatest piece of positivity is that they’ve only lost two of their last seven games (and drawn the rest!) ……………… they’ve conceded four goals in the League this season a staggering SEVEN times so far, and seven goals just the once (at home to Donnie) …………………. Leading scorers are Mr Humphreys (“I’m free!”) with five, and Charlie Kelman and the Goodship Brandon, each with four ………. They departed the FA Cup in Round One, 1-0 at Dover, and the EFL Cup in Round Two 4-1 at home to MK Dons, and they didn’t get out of the group stages of the Troffy…………………Two loan signings, one of whom is Man U CMF Ethan Hamilton, and the other of whom isn’t ……………….

We punctured their balloon after they beat the MKPhoneyWombles (see above), beating them by the only goal in the Bishop of Wham (1-0); last season they did us 3-0 at theirs, and we shared the two goals evenly at ours ………… and goal-machine Freddie Eastwood (now retired) was allegedly once fined by magistrates after he’d been caught fly-tipping rubbish which included an electricity bill and bank statements containing his name (I tell you, if they weren’t thick, Plod wouldn’t catch any of them)

They had four managers in 2019 (we made do with one!) – Chris Powell, Kevin Bond, Garry Wazzock and Big Sol ……………. Their highest points tally in a season was 85 when they went up in 1990/91, and their lowest ever was 39 in the First Division in 1996/97 (a record they’re very likely to break this season, given that they’ve not only got the worst GD in League One, but they’ve also earned the fewest points of anyone (if they hadn’t been docked, Bolton would have 19 points to the Shrimpers’ 10 …………..)) ……………. Once managed by Bobby Moore, their all-time appearance record is Alan Moody’s 506, all-time leading scorer is Roy Hollis (135), and – to be fair- they are currently only the 14 points and 31 goals from safety ……………… and they’re a long way off Fort William’s #longeststreakwithoutawin ……………..

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 18th January………………….. and if we don’t win this one you’d think we’re in a spot of bother ourselves ………. But we will ………………. I think …………….. or we might at least get a draw ………………… which is (as taken from the song “Why Was He Born so Beautiful”), as they say, “No bloody use at all”

Up the Stanley!

And the previous Oldest Goal Scorer was - as you’d likely guessed – Sir Stanley Matthews

Good luck to everyone! ……………..Keep the Faith! ……………. And thanks for playing!