2019/20 Prediction League Game 32; v Colonia Domitiana Lindensium (home)

Div3North · 14-02-2020, 01:41

Accrington Stanley

V

Lincoln City

2019/20 Prediction League; Game 32 v Lindum Colonia (home)

The Voodoo Gods of Football Have Smiled; in fact, they’ve laughed until their sides split (eeugh!)…………. Not at us, you understand, but instead at (fanfare) Fort William FC of the Breedon Highland Football League (named after the principal farming pastime on braw bricht moonlicht nichts – which is breed’n); for many months The Fort were the biggest laughing stock of football in the UK, and you’ll all remember their ‘non-winning streak’ which lasted 73 games and 840 days (not to mention a -221 GD) ………….. well, they’re no longer The Worst Team Ever …………. They’re now 16th out of 17, with a record that reads W3 D1 L13 GF17 GA 56 (-39) and 10 points ………….. but BELOW them, also on 10 pints (sorry, points) but with a GD of -63 (scored 19, conceded 82 and played 8 games more than FWFC - lots of rain in the far north o’ Scotland, Somerset would be beside himself with ecstasy at the postponements!) – now sit ……………… Starter for Ten …….. Who?

It's a little-known fact that Lincoln was discovered by the Italian Romans in 1066, when - on their way to an away game against Robert the Bruce - they turned left off the Appian Way instead of right, and ended up in Lindum Colonia (aka Deep Sh1t). It wasn’t called that then, of course, it was called Lincoln (the Lincolneers didn’t, sadly, have the necessary Classical Education to know that “Lindum” derived from the Brythonic (Southern Celtic) word for lake or pool, and the Latin word “Colonia”, means colony, so that “Lindum Colonia” – more fully, “Colonia Domitiana Lindensium”, means “a colony of lakes”, otherwise known as Switzerland.

I don’t know a lot of Latin (“cogito ergo sum”), although I do know a Latin Poem;

“Caesar adsum jam forte

Brutus adarat

Caesar sic in omnibus

Brutus sic in at”

…… and a piece of advice from the Roman Senate, oft quoted, which goes, “Quando omni flunkus, moritati”, which roughly translates as “When all else fails, play dead” – you ask Julius Caesar!

In its Early Days, Lincoln was an Iron Age settlement of round wooden buildings known locally as Hovels …………… today it still is……………. ‘nuff said!

After six games of the season, Lincoln – on 4 wins and 2 losses - were 2nd in League One; currently they’re 14th, having just picked up their first point in five matches…………….. after 27 games, Ipswich were top of League One (despite a recent run where they drew 5 and lost 3); currently they’re 7th, and out of the playoff places by a point from Pompeii, having played two games more; after 20 games, Wycombe were top, seven points clear (and You Fat Bastard was clearing a space in his Trophy Cabinet); now they’re fourth, 3 points and 24 goals behind The Millers; after 10 games the table read (1) Ipswich, (2) Wycombe, (3) Fleetwood, and Rotherham were 13th ………….. Fleetwood are now 9th, and Rotherham top …………….. current dark-horses (of a different colour, for OzLovers) are Coventrary, who’ve only lost 3 in the League all season (4-0 at Rotherham, 0-1 at home to the Trans, and 2-1 at, ironically, the Shrews!) but keep drawing too often!

Last season the Imps won League Two at a canter; their record was P46 W23D16 L7, giving them 85 points and a 6-point margin …………….. of the seven they lost, only Colchester did the double over them (1-0 at home and 3-0 at Sensible Bank); in their seven losses they only scored one goal (at Crewe in a 2-1), and three of the seven were in their last four games – and they didn’t score in any of those four either ……… they kept 13 clean sheets, went top of the League after game 5, and apart from two weeks at the end of November they stayed top of the table all the way to the end – 40 out of 46 weeks ………………… they started this season fast, too, winning four of their first six ……….. then they only won once in the next eleven ……. Then they won 4 of 6 again ………. And of their last 9 they’ve only won twice – quite an odd pattern …………… all that leaves them 14th , on P32 W11 D5 L16 GF38 GA40 Pts 38, and we’re two places below and two points behind, but with two games in hand ………. And they’ve failed to score 11 times in the League so far ………….. Their season-opener involved doing us 2-0; bah humbug!

“Busy in the Transfer Window” is an understatement; they signed defender Ben Tozer from Southend in August, and in January they brought in 6, with one more in February ……………….. Irish-born MF Zack Elbouzedi (now there’s a Grand Old Irish name, to be sure!) arrived from Waterford, so he did (his Dad’s Libyan); no less than THREE LBs arrived (Tayo Edun from Fulham, Max Melbourne (who they’d earlier had on loan) from the Baggies and Akeem Hinds from the Millers), Southend also coughed up forward Tom Hopper, Hull gave them GK Charlie Andrews for nowt, and the Hammers let them have forward Anthony Scully …………. In exchange, they sold Bruno Andrade and Michael O’Conner to SalfordMoneyBags, LB Harry Toffolo (think Dr Seuss) to Huddersfield and John Akinde to the Gills ………….. various loans – striker Tyreece John-Jules (wasn’t he in Round the Horne?) from the Gunners, MF Conor Coventry from the ‘ammers, Timothy Eyoma (CB) and Liam Bridcutt (DM) from Spurs

They lasted but a single round of the FA Cup, losing to Ipswich at home having done the hard work and drawn away; they (and Rotherham) didn’t get out of their Troffy group, and in the EFL Cup, a 1-0 win at the Terriers was followed in Round Two by a 4-2 home drubbing by Everton - and that was before they were resurgent! Leading goal scorers are Tyler Walker (15), Harry Anderson (7) and John Akinde (5)

After the disbanding of Lincoln Rovers (formerly Lincoln Recreation) in 1884, Lincoln City FC was formed; their first game was a 9–1 victory over local rivals Sleaford ….. They turned professional in the 1891–92 season, and helped to form the Second Division a year later; their first League game was a 4–2 away defeat to Sheffield United. They failed re-election to the Football League in 1908 but won immediate re-election after winning the next year's Midland League, and did the same thing again in 1911 and 1920. Having been founder members of Division Two, they were also founder members of Div3North in 1921. In 1986/87 something happened to them which, at the time, was unique ………………Second Starter for Ten; what happened to the Imps that season which was unique? They’ve been in the Bananarama a couple of times since, but - as you’ll remember- were promoted back into the League in 2016/17 under Danny Cowley

Their nickname (The Imps) obviously comes from their home town; a 14th-century legend, records that two mischievous creatures called imps were sent by Satanto do evil work on Earth. After causing mayhem in Northern England, the two imps headed to Lincoln Cathedral, where they smashed tables and chairs and tripped up the Bishop. When an Angel came out of a book of hymns and told them to stop, one of the imps was brave and started throwing rocks at the angel, but the other imp cowered under the broken tables and chairs. The angel turned the first imp to stone, giving the second imp a chance to escape. It is said that even on still days it is always windy around the cathedral, which is the second imp circling the building looking for his friend …………….. and for your information, the Tripped Up Bishop was NOT the Bishop of Wham!

Famous former managers would include Sniffer Clarke, David Herd (not David of the Herd – The Herd never had a member called David, although they did have a very young Peter Frampton before he formed Humble Pie with Stevie Marriott) and Graham “Do I not like that” Taylor …………….. The City won Div3North three times (in 1932, 1948 and 1952) which entitles them to keep me – a bit like the Jules Rimet Trophy; their best-ever league win was 11-1 against Crewe in 1951, their all-time leading scorer is Andy Graver with 143; highest appearances (469) goes to Grant Brown, and GK Albert Iremonger (there’s a proud Northern Name!) played for them against Donnie when he was 42 years 312 days young (he only signed for them after he'd turned 42!) and was apparently well known for his outspoken nature on the football pitch; he would often, it’s said, leave his goal-mouth to argue decisions made by match officials who were sometimes situated in the centre of the pitch (sounds like Paulo di Canio!)

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 15th February ……………. I see Blackpool have terminated Simon “ShortStayParking” Grayson (again – although I’d guess that the Posh (Darren Ferguson), Barnet (Mad Dog), and Stevenscage (that very very nice Mr Graham ”AboutToBeRelegated” Westlife) have done it more times to one bloke than the Tangos have ………… and the team who are worse than Fort Guillaume are Lossiemouth ………… and Lincoln, in 1986/87, were the first team to suffer automatic GreasyPoling to the Bananarama ……….. And who fancies Barrow back in the EFL? Four points clear of Harrogate with a game in hand and 13 to play? There’s got a cracking Pie Shop in Barrow, I’m told, but it’s still a piggin’ long drive!

Good luck to everyone! ………….Keep the Faith! ………….. Quando omni flunkus, moritati! ………….. And thanks for playing!

Div3North · 14-02-2020, 01:46

Morning!

I'm having trouble with my laptop - the font, spacing etc are all wrong, I don't know why, it's Quarter to Two, and I'm past caring! At least the thread's up and running …… I suspect the VG of F, but who knows?