2019/20 Prediction League; Game 7 v Bristol Rovers (away)

Div3North · 05-09-2019, 00:26

Bristol Rovers FC

V

Accrington Stanley

2019/20 Prediction League; Game 7 v Jumpin’ Jack Flash FC (away)

“I was born in a crossfire hurricane
And I howled at my ma in the drivin’ rain
But it’s alright now, in fact it’s a gas
But it’s alright, I’m Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas, gas, gas”

Tell you what; I’ve heard some nonsense over the years, but how about this for stupid?

• “Bristol Rovers have never played in European competition; the closest they came was when they missed out on reaching the international stage of the Anglo-Italian Cup in the 1992–93 season on a coin toss held over the phone with West Ham United”

Coin toss? Over the phone? ......... “Oh no, I’m really sorry – it were ‘eads, so we’ve won – ‘ard luck, lads” ............... oh please!

The Gas, officially The Pirates, were once upon a time known as Black Arabs FC – a name which these days would probably have the EFL running for cover. They were formed in 1883 and were founder members – along with all the Southern League teams – of Division 3 (which became Div 3 South) in 1920 .............. in the last 100 years they’ve only been out of the League for one season (2014/15) , having slid down the Greasy Pole (of Oblivion) alongside (well, technically just above) Torquay at the end of 2013/14. They went up behind Barnet (did you know that Bradley Walsh (“The Chase”) once played for the Bees on loan from Brentford?) as Bananarama Playoff Winners, beating Vegan Greenpeace United 3-0 over two legs in the Semis, and then Grimsby 5-3 on pens after a half-Desmond. The following year (2015/16), as you’ll all remember, they nicked our automatic promotion place on the last day of the season, and went up to League One in our place! Over their history their highest finishing positions were in 1956 and 1959, on both occasions ending the season in 6th place in Division Two, then, of course, the second tier of English football, not the fourth.

Currently they play at the Memorial Ground (1996 to date); their last but one ground before that (they’ve had at least seven) was the Eastville Stadium (1897 to 1986) ........... but between those two stadia, and from 1986 to 1996 (starter for ten) – where did they call home?

They finished last season in 15th (one point and one place below us) off the back of a record of 13 wins, 15 draws and 18 losses, scoring 47 and conceding 50; we did them 2-1 at theirs’ in the second game of the season (both goals by Sean McRedCard), the return being a goalless Desmond ..... Over the summer 13 left the staff (nearly as many as the number of MPs Boris the Hun sacked off today (on advice from his Departmental Rottweiler, no doubt)) ........... they MutuallyConsented with striker Stefan Payne, who joined Tranmere, gave free transfers to CB James Clarke (now of Walsall) and RB Joe Partington (now of the Spitfires), and released 10 more, including MF Connor Jones, RB Daniel Leadbitter (who probably was, when they said he could go) who’s now playing with Podge (if you’ll pardon the expression), CM Chris Lines went to the Cobblers, CB Tom Lockyer joined the Addicks, CM Stuart Sinclair also went to the Saddlers, and GKs Sam Slocombe and Adam Smith joined Notts County and Vegan Greenpeace respectively ............. Mrs Slocombe’s Pussy, by the way, is still alive and kicking ....... thought you’d want to know, fans of “Are You Being Served”

They brought in seven – two GKs and five who play in the back four (no attackers, which might explain 5 goals in 6 games, and none in four of those six) ................. Finnish keeper Anssi Jaakkola will battle it out with Dutchman Jordi van Stoppashott for the starting position, and Josh Hare (Eastleigh), Mark Little (Bolton), Luke Leahy (Walsall), Harry Hodges (Plymouth) and one Tom Davies (Coventry via Accrington) will fight it out for the back-four shirts

Pre-season started well for them, with away wins by 10-1 and 7-0; unfortunately those were at Yate Town and St Mochta’s (no, neither have I) .... the season has been a bit difficult; three losses away, all by 2-0, at Blackpool, Coventry and Burton, a home goalless Desmond with Wycombe, and two wins, both at home and within four days, beating Tranmere 2-0 and Oxford 3-1 ...............P6 W2 D1 L3 GF5 GA7, for 7 points and 14th spot in the table; leading goal scorer is Jonson Scott Clarke-Harris with two ........... in the Caribou Cup they did Cheltenham at home 3-0 before Brighton did them 2-1 in Round Two, and in the Troffy they drew 1-1 at BurySouthArgyle before losing 5-3 on pens

Form teams in League One at the moment are Ipsoswitch (W4 D2, four conceded in 6 games and fourteen scored (Kayden’s hitting the net quite a bit)), with 14 points, including 11 points in their last five; several sides have 9 points/5 games, but the Black Cats have 10, despite losing last time out; although they’ve lost twice, Lincoln are second on 12 (because they’ve won the other 4), ahead of Blackpool, Coventry and Wycombe .............. There are still five unbeaten sides (it’s a bit like Groundhog Day – Ipswich, Blackpool, Coventry, Wycombe and Doncaster); at the other end Chief Numpties Bolton, we know, are in trouble (3 consecutive 5-0 defeats in the League and 5-2 at Rochdale in the EFL Cup, -11 points and a -17 GD), and it may not have finished yet, given that they pulled the game against Doncaster, for which some penalty may follow ........... Keith Hill’s now the Manager; also giving their fans palpitations are Southend – P6 L6 GF4 GA17 for NUL points ............... as form goes, Southend 0 from their last 5, Bolton 1/5, the Wombles 2/5 .............. we’ve got 4/5, and so have Tranmere and Oxford ............. Onwards and upwards!

Their record League win was 7-0, which they’ve managed four times; most appearances was 546 by Stuart Taylor, and most goals for the club is 242 by Geoff Bradford, who was also the only player ever to be capped by England while playing for the Gas .......... other famous players include Ian Holloway, who was there from 1981 to 1999, the first million-pound GK (Nigel Martyn), goal-scoring legend Barry Hayles, and Byron Moore, who scored their fastest-ever League goal after 11 seconds against the Wombles on 9th April 2017 (you’d have been a bit hacked off if you’d arrived 30 seconds late for the kick-off, especially since that was the only goal of the game) ............... The Club Song, apparently, is “Goodnight, Irene” (really?)

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 7th September ............. winning, of course, becomes a habit, and we’ve just won two in a row (although one was in the Troffy); we’ve got an ENORMOUS (for us) squad – how many of them won’t get a game this season?............... and several tall strikers; we’ve got a couple of wingers; down to the by-line, sling over the cross, and let the heads do the rest; oh, and sort out corners and free kicks, and practice penalties, and make your substitutions at the right time; easy, n’est-ce pas?

And did you know that the first substitute in League football was Keith Peacock for Charlton, who replaced injured GK Mike Rose (subs were only allowed in cases of injury back then) eleven minutes into their Division 2 game at Bolton on 21st August 1965 (although KP was a midfielder)? Bolton won the game 4-2 ................ fifty-four years and two weeks ago, and I remember it like it was yesterday (only one sub in those days, unless I’m mistaken (?)) ......... And for the record, Brizzle played their home games between 1986 and 1996 at Twerton Park ..............

Up the Stanley!

Good luck to everyone!.......... Keep the Faith!............ And thanks for playing!