Accrington Stanley
v
Peterborough United
2020/21 Prediction League; Game 1 v Peterborough Utd (home)
As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted ………..errrr ……………. Buggar! I’ve forgotten what it was that I was saying ………….
And I’m here to tell you that
Will Greig, the well-known Scandinavian composer (who wrote songs for Fingal and the Cave Dingles) and sometime BlackCat footballer, is officially NOT on fire ………. Slumberland played Hull City at Roker Park over the weekend in Round One of the Carabao Cup, held them to a goalless
Desmond, and then lost the shootout 5-4 … and who missed his penalty for the Moggies? Correct – the bloke who makes all the sausage rolls –
Will Gregg himself! And an assist for
Clicker with the third goal of
James Collins’ hat-trick for the Luton Louts against Norwich …….. Way to go,
Clicker!
You’ll also doubtless have seen that the Great Fire-Damaged Stock Sale at Wigan rolls on apace; at the last count (last Friday) they’d released, sold or otherwise totalled 18 players of nine different nationalities (one of whom – Hungarian-born GK
Dániel Gyollai – signed for the Posh, and who may or may not be related to
Granville out of “Open All Hours”)), plus one Manager (close friend of
Cashy, so I understand) and a Training Ground at Euxton (knocked down to PNE), which Wigan in turn had bought during the Great Fire-Damaged Stock Sale at Bolton a year or two back
And the biggest news of 2020 – ok, apart from THAT – features
Baldicoot Ellison (now aged in his upper 80s), who left Morecambe in the summer and has now turned up at Newport ….
“Oh I ‘ad a brother Rupert, And he played scrum ‘alf…..” isn’t it. Look you.
Blodwen. Eisteddfod …. complete with zimmer frame. Described by
Auntie Beeb as “Newport’s Nemesis”,
Baldy proclaimed, modestly, “
I've always seemed to do well against the club over the last few years"; so, watch out for an increase in entries in the Own Goals column – at least until he remembers which way he’s shooting!
And this week’s Starter for Ten, then; Yokohama FC were promoted back to the J-League last season; what – if anything – is remarkable about the career of their captain and Number 11
Kazuyoshi Miura?
Peterborough, you may like to know, hasn’t always been Peterborough; originally it was Medeshamstede ("homestead in the meadows"); in the 10th Century it became “Burgh” (as in “Burgher King”), but without the “Peter” (or the burger) ………… “Burgh” means “borough or chartered town”; “Peter” means “stone” or “rock” …. So, it was “a stone or rock in a borough in the homestead in the meadows” – isn’t that sweet? ………… It’s the largest city in Cambridgeshire, although originally it was in Northamptonshire (until somebody moved it). Much of modern Peterborough covers the area known, some hundreds of years ago, as the “Soke of Peterborough” (also called “The Liberty of Peterborough”); the term “soke” was a legal term in Medieval England covering various concepts, including a jurisdiction over land, or rights to hold a court or receive fines (hence “Liberty”) …………. The Soke had its own magistrates, who were appointed by the Lord Paramount and who retained the power of hanging a criminal in cases of murder, which in fact they apparently exercised as late as 1812. I understand that the local Court believes that they still retain that power …
Where there’s a Court, of course, there’s a Prison. The current HMP Peterborough was built on the site of a former engineering works and opened in 2005, despite a great deal of protest from local residents. While I’m not sure, it may well have been that they were upset that – uniquely – HMP Posh was (and still is) the only prison in the UK which houses both male and female prisoners simultaneously (hence its local nickname of “Ye Olde Knocking Shop”) …………. It’s run by Sodexo – a French company - which probably explains a lot, including le fraternisation et certainement le bonking ……………. You’ll not be surprised that it quickly ran into controversy when they tried to recruit 2 holistic therapists to offer reflexology, aromatherapy and Indian head massages to prison inmates (and that was just the blokes!), then to be followed by publication of a national table of prisons compiled in 2008 by the Prison Service which revealed that Peterborough Prison had come last out of 132 prisons, with low marks for reducing re-offending, organizational effectiveness, and decency (now there’s a surprise); a month later, women prisoners complained that the food served at the jail was too high in calories, and made them put on weight! Couldn’t make it up, could you?
At the end of The Season We’ll Never Forget, Peterborough – who took 22 points from their last nine games - finished seventh, but only after the table was rejigged to a “PPG” system (no, not PSG – PPG …. “points per game”) so that Wycombe (who now own the performing rights to
David Stockdale), who had a game in hand on the Posh, climbed from eighth to third and thence to le Championnat, and the Posh dropped to seventh, and out of the Playoffs. Mwahahahahahahahaha ………….
Barry Fry – seldom a man at a loss for a word or ten – announced
"I've been in the game 60 years and it's the biggest disappointment I've ever had. I feel my club has been cheated for (shouldn’t that be “of”? You can’t actually be cheated “for” something) the chance of promotion. Your form at home, your form away, they took nothing into consideration, I think it's been a disgrace the way it's been handled from day one. The governing bodies have let the football family down, I'm so annoyed”
….. in fact, so annoyed that he could have crushed a grape! And is it really only 60 years
Bazzer? It seems like more …………
Posh had their own Fire Sale, releasing six (including AMF
Marcus Maddison, GK
Aaron No-Club Chapman, CB
Rhys Bennett, MF
Callum Cooke (who found refuge at Bratfud) and CM
Alex Woodyard (who found a burrow on Wimbledon Common) ……..
Ivan Toney went to Brentford for Loadsamoney, LW
George Cooper to Plymouth and Scottish DMF
Mark O’Hara to
Me Mother’s Well – each of them bringing in £undisclosed, not counting those who were or are still unattached, who brought in £zip …...….. And your second Starter for Ten; Brentford have a brand-new stadium; but what's it called?
They ProperSigned six and borrowed one (
Reece Brown from Huddersfield) …. Apart from
Gyollai, they got CM
Ethan Hamilton from Man U for free, and paid for CB
Ronnie Edwards (one of the Great Train Robbers – and still playing!) from Barnet,
Ryan Broom (in a clean sweep from Cheltenham – gerrit? Broom? Clean sw…. oh suit yourselves!) and
Johnson Clark-Harris, a muscular striker from Bristol – and if that isn’t the opening line of a limerick, tell me what is! Sixth purchased addition was 24 year-old, 5’ 6” ex Colchester and Bristol City AMF
Sammie Szmodics (now there’s a good old Essex name), who signed for Bristol last summer on a three year contract, played one League game, went on loan to the Posh early this year, and hit 35 goals in his 142 games for the U’s (of which he got 26 in 81 games – so one in three – in his last two seasons at Layer Road)
Peterborough, by the way, is the birthplace of millions of people I’ve never heard of, including
Sir Henry Royce (1st Baronet of Seaton) who built half a posh car with the man who brought the rolls,
Hereward the Wake, an outlaw (who had a son who was a knocker-up, called
“Hereward the Wake Up It’s 4.30”) who led resistance to the Norman Conquest (from a safe distance, I note, given that the invasion was darn sarf),
Andy Bell, lead vocalist with the pop duo Erasure (which means ‘rubbed out’, doesn’t it?),
Paul Nicholas (actor) who was in ‘Just Good Friends’ with
Jan Francis back in the 80s, and
Peter Boizot, who founded Pizza Express, and thus has a lot to answer for ………………
Notable names at the Footie Club include
Noel Cantwell and
Mark Lawrenson among the past managers, along with
Lil Fuccillo, John Still and
That Nice Mr Evans ……………. Record league goal scorer is
Jim Hall with 302 (although
Terry Bly hit 81 in 88 games!), most appearances is
Tommy Robson with 482, and the player who made them the most money when they sold him to Palace (7 million quid or 4.5 million, depending who you believe) was
Dwight Devon Boyd Gayle, now of Newcastle ………….. none of the aforementioned will be playing on Saturday, Messrs
Hall and
Robson being over 75 and
Terry Bly – who scored 54 in the Posh’s first season in the League (1960/61) - having passed on some years ago ………… RIP
Terry, you were a star!
Last season they did us 4-0 at theirs, but only 2-0 at ours (our goals scored by …..err), went out of the FA Cup in Round 3 (4-2 at Burnley), lost 6-5 on pens to Ipswich in the EFLTroffy first round, and didn’t trouble the scorers in the only EFL Cup game they played (0-1 at Oxford); before that (2018/19) they duffed us up 4-0 again, but that was at ours, and we got one of our total of three wins in the return, 1-0 in October 2018 (the goal credited to
“Conville”) ………. Our other two wins were 3-2 at home in 1961 and 3-2 again in 2007/08 …………. but we don’t talk about 2008, when we went there on a Tuesday, gave them a six-goal start, and drew 2-2 (!)
Deadline for entries from both of you (I’m not optimistic!) is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 12th September …………. It’s going to be a funny old season – starts with 92 clubs (welcome to Barrow and especially to Harrogate Town), and it remains to be seen how many it finishes with …. And
Mr Miura of
YokoOnoHama is noteworthy because he’s officially the oldest player and oldest goal-scorer in professional football history, at 53 years old and with a continuous career which currently stands at 35 seasons and counting! …………… Yes, seriously! He can keep going all season, apparently; most 50-year old blokes can’t keep going all night! And Brentford's new abode (with me) is the Brentford Community Stadium
Good luck to everyone! ………….. Stay safe and keep well! ………… And thanks for playing!