2020/21 Prediction League; Game 14 v Crewe Alexandra (home)

[Div3North]

Accrington Stanley

v

Crewe Alexandra

2020/21 Prediction League; Game 14 v The Alex (home)


I’m not entirely sure, I have to say, that when Professor Coley was talking about ‘getting Sean McSentOffAgain some minutes’ in the Lincoln game, that five minutes was what he had in mind ..... ho hum!

And I thought it might be nice to celebrate the visit of Crewe – that’s Crewe, then of League Two, who put us out of the FA Cup last season 2-0 in Round One at the Wham - with a song ...... but I struggled a bit to find the right one .................. I did wonder about “Crewe were made for me” by Freddie and the Dreamers, but the Grammar Police wouldn’t have liked that, because correctly it should be “Crewe was made for me” .....or “I Love Crewe and Don’t You Forget it” by Perry Como ....... Then I tried, “Crewe, and the Night, and the Music” by Dietz and Schwartz (recorded, among other, by Mrs Sinatra’s Eldest), but “flaming desire” was a tad strong (line 2) ..... And then I thought, well, I thought, I’ll go to the foot of our stairs ......Of course! ..... “Oh Mr Porter”; made famous by Matilda Alice Victoria Wood (no relation) aka Marie Lloyd (“The Queen of the Music Hall”).

Throughout her career Marie Lloyd was showered with both criticism and praise for her use of innuendo, winks and gestures, and double entendres in her performances; she had a repertoire of “saucy” numbers, including – it was claimed – one entitled, “She sits among the cabbages and peas”, and her parody of an up-till-then perfectly respectable show-song called “Every Little Movement has a Meaning of its Own” would certainly have given your Maiden Aunt a touch of the Vapours; she was, in truth, an early, female Max Miller

• “Oh! Mr Porter, what shall I do?
I wanted to go to Birmingham
But they’re taking me on to Crewe,
Send me back to London as quickly as you can,
Oh! Mr Porter, what a silly girl I am!”

Right, now, hands up all you sweet old-fashioned things who think that’s a charming, funny little ditty about an Innocent Maiden who misses her stop on the train home and can’t get back? Wrong! It’s about Percy Filth! It’s about a young girl intent on enjoying a Liaison Romantique, who knows exactly how far she’s prepared to go but ends up going further ..... “Crewe” is, as it were, the .... errr – possibly – errr perhaps – err climax, so to speak, if you will, as it were – of the journey, which journey was supposed to be stopping at “Birmingham” (a euphemism if ever I heard one) but which didn’t stop at “Birmingham”. Marie was well paid, much lauded, and a Very Naughty Girl, although her husbands treated her appallingly; she played Panto at the Drury Lane Theatre opposite Dan Leno three times ......... as a boy, the writer Sir Compton McKenzie was taken to her opening night in 1891, and he confessed to being

• “Greatly surprised that any girl should have the courage to let the world see her drawers as definitely as Marie Lloyd”.

Like I said - Percy Filth! But great fun!

• “I always hold in having it if you fancy it
If you fancy it, that's understood
And suppose it makes you fat?
I don't worry over that
Cos a little of what you fancy does you good”.

Does anyone know by the way – Starter for Ten - where Crewe Alexandra got their name from?

Crewe is a transport town – often simply but inaccurately known as a railway town - within the borough of Cheshire East and what is now the ceremonial county of Cheshire; the built-up area had a total population of 71,722 in 2011. In fact it’s best known as a large railway junction and home to Crewe Works, although for many years it was a major railway engineering facility for manufacturing and overhauling locomotives, now much reduced in size (the facility, not the locomotives). From 1946 until 2002, it was also the home of Rolls-Royce motor car production; with the passage of time, the Pyms Lane factory on the west of the town now exclusively produces Bentley motor cars. Crewe is 158 miles) north of London and 35 miles south of Manchester.

The name derives from an Old Welsh word “criu”, meaning 'weir' or 'crossing' (Crewe Alex actually won the Welsh Cup a couple of times, until they were banned for not being Welsh) The earliest record is in the Domesday Book, where it is written as “Creu” ....it lays claim to Gwynneth Dunwoody (Labour MP), Mark, Baron Price (MD of Wait, Rose and Deputy Chairman of John Lewis), and Derek Macintosh Bates (“Blaster Bates”, the English explosives and demolition expert and after-dinner speaker/raconteur – teller of such tales as “The Shower of Sh1t over Cheshire” (where he blew up a cess pit), and also the occasion when he surprised a young couple in what he described as 'a compromising position' whilst clearing trees for the Oulton Park racing circuit, an incident which apparently gave Knickerbrook Corner its name.......

The Alex were formed in 1877, drawing their first ever match against North Staffs 1-1 ..... seven years on they played their first FA Cup match, losing 10-0 to Scottish side Queen’s Park. In 1892 they were founder members of the Second Division and played their first League match, only losing that one 7-1 to Burton Swifts (nb Burton Albinos have still only won once in the League this year (against us) and are propping up the table on 7 points); despite all that, they turned professional in 1893 ......... in 1921 – like many sides – they were founder members of Div 3 North; they played Tranmere; they lost 4-1! Mind you, that was small beer against the run they had in 1955, when they failed to win away from home for 56 consecutive matches ...........

And in 1960, famously, they played Spurs in the FA Cup, holding out for a very creditable Desmond in front of their record crowd of 20,000 at Gresty Road, but losing the replay at White Hart Lane by ........... Anyone remember? ........... Well, midweek, 3rd Feb 1960; 83 League places between the sides; Spurs were 3-0 up inside 12 minutes, 6-1 up with half-an-hour played, and by half time it was 10-1, although they eased up a little in the second half (adding just the three further goals) to run out winners 13-2 ….. Les Allen scored 5, Bobby Smith 4, Cliff Jones 3, and Tommy Harmer the other one ............. one of my “I remember that” games, that, alongside Charlton Athletic 7 Huddersfield 6, Man City 4 Wolves 6 (on my 11th birthday) and Stanley 7 Gillingham 4, both of which I saw live!

They made the FA Cup semi-finals in 1887/88, losing 4-0 to Preston, while the Baggies – who won the Cup – beat Derby Junction 3-0; their biggest League win is 8-0 (v Rotherham in 1932), and their worst defeat was 11-1 at Lincoln (1951); appearance record holder – famous artist Tommy Lowry (“And they painted match stalk men and match stalk cats and dogs ....”) with 482; highest goalscorer was Bert Swindells with 135, and they once got £6M from Man U for a prodigy called Nick Powell, then 16, who played just 3 games (one goal) for the Reds, went on loan to Wigan, Leicester and Hull, and moved on and signed for Wigan in 2016, and for Stoke in 2019 ...........

Famous Crewe managers include Harry Catterick (pre-Everton), Busby Babe and Munich survivor Dennis Viollet (from August to November 1971) – who had a long career coaching in the USA, including the Washington Diplomats (we could do with a few of them right now), the Jacksonville Tea Men (straight up!), Jacksonville University, Richmond Kickers and the Jacksonville Cyclones, and whose daughter Rachel was a one-time highest ranked British female tennis player) – plus Harry Gregg, Dario Gradi, snooker player Steve Davis and David Artell (and those two have been the club’s only managers since December 2011! )......

“Names You’ll Know” players include Dave Whelan (as in Wigan Athletic), Stan Bowles, Bruce Grobbelaar, David Platt (who also played for Coronation Street and England), Dele Adibola, Danny Murphy, Robbie Savage, and Plymouth Boss Ryan Lowe (whose career, I understand, began at Burscough - on whose pitch I have played on ...

They finished last season second in League Two, with 69 points from 36 games (W20 D9 L8); currently they’re 13th in League One, with a record reading P13 W5 D1 L7 GF13 GA13 Pts 16 ..... at home, W3 D1 L3, away W2 L4 – away wins at Donnie (2-1) and Oxford (2-0) ........ and last time out (Saturday) at Pompey, they got a 4-1 thrashing (despite making five substitutions under the new rule) .......... they’re in Round Two of the FA Cup, having done Bolton 3-2 away and next going to Whaddon Rd on Saturday), out of the EFL Cup 2-1 at home to the Imps, and out of the Troffy in Round Two, finishing up on the wrong end of a seven goal thriller against the Pointy-Nosed Furry things ... they’ve got 24 goals in 18 games in all; leading League scorers are Mikael Mandron on 5, and Charlie Kirk, Oliver Finney and Harry Pickering, with three each

Whisper this next bit; we’ve beaten them four times out of four in the most recent League games – winning 1-0 at theirs (Billy Whizz) and 3-2 at ours (two for Hughes and one for McCartan) in 2016/17, and 2-0 at theirs (Billy Kee and Jordan Clark inside 11 minutes) and 1-0 at ours (Kayden Jackson) in 2017/18 ............. And for Billy fans – and who isn’t – Coalville Town are still top of the Isthmian League Southern Central on GD from Needham Market!

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 7.00pm on Tuesday 24th November ......... and by the way, don’t post late on 15th December when we’re at Gillingham with a 5.30 kick-off (what happened to 3.00pm and 7.45pm?) Form side in League Two is currently Charlton (13 points from their last 5), followed by Fleetwood and Blackpool with 12, and Pompey and us with 10; fully justifying their slots in the GreasyPole Places are Brizzle (21st, 12 points) and Wigan (23rd, 7 points) with one point out of the last 15, and the Shrews (22nd, one win in 12 games, 8 points) and Burton (24th, 1 win in 13 games, 7 points) – and Oxford and Rochdale are only out of the bottom four on GD, having 12 points each

And for those who didn’t know, Crewe Alexandra named themselves back in 1877 after Princess Alexandra of Denmark – born Princess Alexandra Caroline Marie Charlotte Louise Julia of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg (“You! Girl! Stand up! What’s your name!”) She later married Albert Edward, Prince of Wales, the heir apparent of Queen Victoria, whom he succeeded in 1901 as King Edward VII, Alexandra becoming Queen Consort, and Empress of India, her father having been King of Denmark as Christian IX and her brother having been appointed King of Greece as George I. So – Crewe Alexandra – By Royal Appointment, then .............In your dreams!

Good luck to everyone! ………….. Stay safe and keep well! ………… And thanks for playing!

[Div3North]

“Form side in League ONE is Charlton .......“

Typo

[LongLostSon]

Stanley 2 Crewe 1

[DaveinGermany]

2-0 to the Stanley please D3N.

[monkey hanger]

hate crewe so stanley 1 crewe 2.

[cashman]

2-1 stanley for me,

[andyd]

Stanley 1-0 Crewe.

[Taypot]

Another great introduction Div3North. I'll go for Stanley 2 Crewe Alexandra Caroline Marie Charlotte Louise Julia of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg 1

[MikeA]

2-0 Stanley, please

[AccyMad]

3 - 1 to Stanley please

[Tom D]

3-1 win for stanley please

[Watchdog]

1-1 draw please

[choirboy]

Stanley 2-1 Crewe for me please!

[ossy kid]

Stanley 3-0 Crewe

[Outback Ozzy]

Defence is firm at the moment, so 3-0 to Stanley please