Don't shoot the messenger!

[entwisi]

I have a good friend who is a cambridge supporter who emailed me the following report on their visit. I thought you may like to reda it so here it is





Our direction on Saturday took us to a small mining town between Burnley and Blackburn – or a rock and a hard place, to give them more accurate names. It was not surprisingly United’s first-ever visit to these parts, to a pleasant location and a pleasant club which seems very proud of its history, although this stems more from the fact that it fought its way back from oblivion than any great trophy success.



Accrington FC were founder members of the Football League in 1888, but after they resigned and folded five forgettable seasons into their tenure, it was their co-tenants Stanley Villa who kept the name of their town going in football circles by changing their name to Accrington Stanley. They had to wait until 1921 for a League status of their own, but never achieved promotion in forty years of almost unremitting mediocrity, save for a purple patch in the mid-1950s, and achieved a fame of sorts only when they resigned in 1962 for financial reasons.



They reformed in 1968, but save for a one-off game due to pitch problems, did not return to their former home at Peel Park, now a school playing field, instead taking up residence a mile or so away at the Crown Ground, next to (yup) The Crown pub. The appointment of John Coleman as manager in 1999 was the catalyst for their still-ongoing surge up the non-League ladder to the current dizzy heights of Conference leaders, within tantalising touching distance of regaining their long-lost League place.



The Crown Ground now goes by the pulsatingly glamorous name of the Interlink Express Stadium and seems to have been almost completely rebuilt since 1968, looking almost as new and shiny as the housing estate which adjoins it. ‘Basic’ would be the kindest word to describe its somewhat prosaic charms, a symphony in unlovely, unadorned breeze block at both uncovered terraced ends. The main stand contains the only seating, a simple structure some ten seats deep with what looks like red scaffolding perched atop it, while the opposite side most resembles Canvey with its dual bus-shelter-alike structures affording cover to its hardy occupants.



Most daunting structure was the camera gantry, an extraordinary multi-storey contruction which seemed unnecessarily high and looked about as stable as the inside of Michael Barrymore’s brain. The travelling amber army was allocated one corner which comprised the end part of one end terrace all the way round to one of the aforementioned bus shelters, allowing the home supporters to change ends according to which way their team was attacking.



The toilet facilities were decidedly non-League, looking like the last remnants of the old ground preserved for posterity (and posteriors), while the catering was awash with that northern speciality, mushy peas, which many brave southerners allowed to be plastered all over their chips and/or pies with an optional dollop of gravy if required. Condiments were displayed on that non-League staple, the trestle table, sugar and milk open to the elements, so it was just as well that it was a pleasantly blue-hued sunny day, albeit a little on the chilly side.



The home followers proudly displayed their banners on the terrace opposite, including the local battle-cry ‘We Love Pies’ and the evocative ‘Stanley Ultras,’ which must have them quaking in Rome and Turin. The U’s countered with the giant ‘Sell It Back’ banner, adorned with hundreds of signatures, although Buzz understandably declined an invitation to add his name before an amiable chat.



I don’t know about you, but it seems like about three months since United last played, but a quick check of the records indicates that our last game was at home to Forest Green Rovers, when we surrendered a 2-1 lead in the third minute of injury time. Ah, that sounds comfortingly familiar. Today’s team bore three changes from that line-up, with Max Porter and Fola Onibuje dropped to the bench and Ritchie Hanlon recovering post-op.



In came Dan Gleeson, David Bridges and Darren Quinton in a decidedly safety-first formation which seemed designed to flood the midfield against the league leaders. It could be best described as a hybrid wing-back/4-5-1 system spearheaded by Craig Westcarr, supported by a floating Courtney Pitt, with Gleeson and Trevor Robinson wide and Bridges and Quinton joined in central midfield by Jon Brady.



Only five players remained from the side which beat Stanley 3-1 at the Abbey back in August, while eight men remained from the Accrington line-up, although not unfortunately gawky comedy goalkeeper Bertrand Bossu, who was so fumblingly generous on the far-off summer’s day. Stanley are a side without stars, whose only famous name is defender Robbie Williams, amazingly not THAT one, although former Sex Pistols drummer Paul Cook was on the bench.



The hosts began positively on an uneven, bumpy pitch which seemed to contain more bumps and hollows than a chicken pox sufferer, David Brown shooting wide after thirty seconds and Anthony Barry steering an effort into Scott Howie’s arms not long after. Trevor Robinson caused palpitations on 6 by wellying a ‘clearance’ high into the air back towards his own goal, but Howie was equal to it and booted clear.



Thereafter, however, it was the blue shirts of United which began to gain the territorial upper hand with a series of Brady corners. Quinton caused Charlton loanee keeper Robert Elliot his first save on 8, then came the flag-kicks which regrettably always seemed to find a red head. We soon began to see why Stanley have such a formidable home record: they don’t concede goals, having won seven out of their last eight with a clean sheet, albeit one was in the ‘UCCC Cup’ against the awesome might of Ramsbottom United.



The U’s maintained the pressure deep into the Stanley half without truly testing Elliot. Pitt’s low cross on 13 found Gleeson galloping in at the far post, but he blazed over from close range. Still the crosses and corners came while the away fans began to look at each other and wonder if we really were playing the league leaders. The Stanley keeper clutched efforts from Morrison and Peters but had nothing difficult to do as the visitors continued to probe.



Curiously, the match ball had to be changed twice in the early stages due to a lack of shape; perhaps the designated Stanley ball-inflator had simply run out of puff. Gleeson had a decent effort in 25, his fizzing twenty-yard daisy-cutter causing Elliot to dive sharply to his left to save, then on the half-hour Westcarr evaded the offside trap but was foiled by the hosts’ gloved custodian. Pitt attempted a cheeky chip from the rebound, but attained insufficient height to beat Elliot’s grabbing hands.



Accrington at last managed another attack on 32, culminating in ambitious overhead by Brown which sailed over the top. The rest of the half was fairly even, but at no time could we see much of an indication as to how Stanley had attained such lofty heights this season, which was in part at least due to the effectiveness of United’s performance. The home support, noisy and boisterous at the start accompanied by the now-inevitable drum (are they compulsory in the Conference?), had by now quietened to a few squeaks as their side remained contained and for the most part outplayed by the boys in blue.



Danger threatened on 41 when Elliot dropped a Bridges cross, but after a brief six-yard scramble he recovered his own error. Yet another Brady corner on 44 came to nought, and the teams retired to the dressing-rooms with the visitors much more satisfied thus far than their underachieving hosts.



There remained just one nagging thought in yours truly’s mind: United had created very little of significance up front due to only having one out-and-out striker. Having now established that the league leaders were, in fact, nothing special and looked eminently beatable, might it be an idea to adopt a more proactive and positive approach to the second half and introduce Onibuje alongside Westcarr?



Buzz didn’t think so, and both teams resumed unchanged. Stanley had doubtless received something of a talking-to during the interval and started in lively fashion, but United still looked very much their equals. First corner of the 45 on 49 afforded the amber hordes the opportunity of seeing Brady’s corner-taking technique up close, and its most notable feature appeared to be the Aussie wingman’s ability to place the ball several feet outside the ‘D’ without being noticed by any of the officials. Good on yer, sport.



Quinton blasted over on 49 and Gary Roberts responded in kind up the other end a minute later, but most dangerous early break came from Bridges who appeared to have been sent clear on goal from halfway but got held up by the innumerable ridges, bumps and quicksand of the Grimpen Moor-like pitch.



First booking of the contest came on 58 for Stanley’s Brown (dissent) and his side gained a free-kick in a dangerous position a minute later when Robinson fouled him, but Roberts sliced his effort lamely into the wall. On the hour came a key moment, though, when United could and should have taken the lead.



Robinson crossed low from the left and Westcarr, with an exquisitely deft flick, lifted the ball in one movement over his own head to baffle his marker and leave himself with a clear shot on goal from eight yards out. With Elliot at his mercy, however, he scuffed his shot limply and the keeper gathered gratefully; the United striker claimed in vain for a tug, but he should have been strong enough to get in a decent shot from there. Most disappointing.



Now Stanley’s floodlights began to flicker on, an unusual arrangement of six poles topped by three lamps apiece, and such was their feeble dimness that they made no appreciable difference whatsoever to the view; in fact the middle one on the ‘bus shelter’ side shone right down onto the camera gantry so its light barely penetrated to the pitch at all. Was this how Stanley had amassed such an impressive home points haul? A treacherous pitch and crepuscular illumination to which only home eyes were accustomed? These fiendish Northerners.



Andy Mangan replaced Brown on 62 and for the next few minutes the hosts enjoyed the upper hand, climaxing on 69 when the sub went down in the box under challenge from Gleeson. Ref Richardson ruled penalty for shirt-pulling and booked the United man for his protests. Typical, we thought, we enjoy the lion’s share of possession, miss the best chance, and here comes our punishment again.



Up stepped Stanley skipper Peter Cavanagh to take the spot-kick; he struck it well, but Howie dived spectacularly to his left to palm away with both hands. Second penalty save of the season and an absolute stonker.



Bridges became United booking number two on 73 for some proverbial ‘handbags’ and Peters wasn’t far behind him for an agricultural clattering of Mangan on halfway. Now we waited to see what the management would do: go for the win and introduce Onibuje, or settle for what they had got?



Fortune failed to favour the faint-hearted, and the U’s paid the ultimate price on 78. John Mullin slid the ball through to Ian Craney, the visitors’ defence was caught napping for a second as thoughts of offside scurried through their minds like optimistic dormice, and Craney, a Stanley knife through butter, scampered around the exposed Howie to tap home. 1-0.



Now United brought on Onibuje, not longer proactive but reactive. He and Danny Bunce replaced Quinton and a limping Pitt, but any shape that the side might once have had was rapidly twisting out of kilter. Andy Duncan blocked a shot by Romauld Boco (possibly not a native Lancastrian) then Stephen Smith replaced Gleeson on 85, but the game looked up.



Westcarr managed a shot on target on 89 from Brady’s cross but it lacked any power to trouble Elliot, and four generous minutes glowed red from the fourth official’s board into the dying, dimly illuminated winter’s sky. A last flurry from the visitors produced yet another corner, and Howie was unable to resist the temptation to gallop forward. He just missed a header with a well-timed run, but in the ensuing mayhem he found himself with the ball at his feet six yards out; he scuffed his shot and the goalbound prod was hoofed half-clear by a collection of red-shirted bodies, as was Duncan’s follow-up.



Stanley threatened to break as visions of Alonso’s sixty-yard effort at Luton danced through our memories, but Howie was back in place by the time Phil Edwards shot over. There was however still time for a re-enactment: another Brady corner, another well-timed Howie run from the D, and this time he met it with a towering, unchallenged header that he just couldn’t control well enough to get on target.



A breathless finish to an eventful match that eventually brought only frustration for the amber hordes, who nevertheless showed their appreciation for an encouraging team display by applauding their heroes warmly from the field. How Accrington are top must remain a mystery, as they weren’t even remotely impressive today, although if they can grind out 1-0 wins without playing very well, they must have something going for them. Stay-at-home U’s can check them out for themselves on Monday 30th when their top-of the-table clash at Exeter has been moved to accommodate live Sky coverage. Bet their travelling supporters are delighted. Good luck to them, a friendly and cheerful bunch and a well-run little club who it would be nice to see tweaking the nose of more ‘illustrious’ rivals.



As for the errant U’s, there was much to be encouraged by despite the result. But this was a game that was there for the winning with just a little more dare and derring-do. On Match of the Day that night, Wigan gained a corner at Middlesbrough deep into injury time, level at 2-2 after having seen a 2-0 lead wiped out. Did they leave everyone back and faff about in the corner to run the clock down and seal the draw? No. They treated the last minute like it was the first, packed men into the box, swung it in and snatched a deserved winner. A little bit of that positivity could only benefit this evolving United side.



Player Ratings:

Howie 9 – His most eventful game since keeping goal for Shrewsbury in their FA Cup defeat at Histon (sorry Scott!).

Morrison 7 – Maintaining an excellent level of consistency.

Peters 8 – Inspirational as ever.

Duncan 8 – Mr Reliability.

Gleeson 7 – Growing into his wing-back role.

Brady 7 – Did OK in an unfamiliar central role and good, consistent corner-taking.

Bridges 8 – Midfield pivot and rose to the occasion well.

Quinton 7 – Let nobody down in an unaccustomed holding position.

Pitt 7 – Not at his sparkling best but some nice touches in an overcrowded midfield.

Robinson 6 – Very average. Both Bunce and Chick look better options on the evidence so far.

Westcarr 6 – Hard worker as usual, but a striker who doesn’t score goals is as desirable as a car without a steering wheel..



Bunce 6 – Tidy ten minutes.

Onibuje 6 – Not given enough time to make much of an impact.

Smith 6 – Decent late cameo.



Match Summary: United outplayed leaders Stanley for most of the match but somehow snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with one lapse of concentration after a superb penalty save by Scott Howie. If this is the best the Conference has to offer, we need have no fears at all.



Soundtrack of the Day: Early Years ‘All Ones And Zeroes’



Man of the Match: Scott Howie. Faultless handling, brilliant penalty save, two attempts on goal. More athletic action than an evening with Jodie Marsh.



Ref Watch: Richardson 7. Decent effort from the man in black, with good use of advantage, sparing use of the cards and usually kept play flowing apart from a couple of lectures.



JB’s Jukebox. Jon Brady lends an ear to the Stanley sounds. “G’day you lot! I’m delighted to have taken over from John Turner as your music reviewer, having been brought up on great rock music like John Farnham, INXS, Midnight Oil and good old Barnesy. Not a great start today, though, I’m afraid. First of all the music at Accrington was about as audible as a Joey’s fart, and secondly they hardly played any because the PA announcer seemed to like the sound of his own voice so much – he even started going on about TV licence detector vans at one point! I could make out Robbie Williams’ ‘Let Me Entertain You’ – what are you gonna do for me Robbie, set fire to your trousers, mate? – Stereophonics’ ‘Have A Nice Day’ and a real old ripsnorter from the Eighties, Tenpole Tudor’s ‘Swords Of A Thousand Men,’ so it could have been worse. JBJ verdict has to be only 3/10 though – not enough music and far too quiet! Play some AC/DC next time!”



So what have we learned?

Canvey’s remains the most basic ground we’ve seen in the Conference – but Accrington don’t half run it close.
1. The Lancastrian welcome is as warm as at their neighbours Rochdale and Bury.
2. The mushy peas went like hot cakes to we southerners.
3. Bet they still tasted like compressed mulch, though.
4. If we need an emergency striker, Scott Howie’s your man!

[Tealeaf]

Hmmmmm....I thought the criticism of the IES a little misplaced. I seem to recall access to the Cambridge ground was through a field of 4ft deep cow****.

[garinda]

See we were right.

They are a town full of students.

A lovely bit of inaccurate prose.

Go to the top of the effin' class.

( We sang 'we love pies'? I missed that gem.)

[AccyMad]

Didn't know we had John Mullin playin for us!!

[LeeVarender]

I don't like to pull people up on technicalities but for the sake of Conan Doyle.
In the reference to "The Hound of the Baskervilles", that should have been Grimpen Mire, not Moor.

[Tealeaf]

Good detective work, Lee.....I think the writer bit off a bit more than he/she could chew.

[andystanley]

Full of the usual comments from newly ex-league (too good for the conference) supporters (like York last year).

All those condescending references to "non-league" this and "non-league" that....

So, just for the record... Cambridge United - also "non-league"... and judging by Saturday, they are going to stay "non-league" too...

[Bazf]

Give em a chance it must be hard to come from the big time leagues and know your not going back for a long, long time.

[maccawozzagod]

i was quite impressed by a refreshing bit of news reporting. It was never boring and even the insults were poetic

"A treacherous pitch and crepuscular illumination to which only home eyes were accustomed? These fiendish Northerners"

I thought I was reasonably well read and literate with modicum of decasyllabic vocabulary, but what the hell is crepuscular? Beats the "Town full of cyclops" from Halifax.

I don't think the piece is particularly insulting as it is written in a sympathetic tone akin to Big sister berating her little brother for wetting the bed. It is not as insulting as many of the wet tirades we have heard this season. We have got crap floodlights and a spoon shaped pitch. Whats wrong with mushy peas anyway? Asti nowt moist down south?

Cheers Cambridge, next year we're gonna have the crappest ground in the entire Football League.

[qualtrough]

Good stuff! I'm told though that the Abbey Stadium is more along the lines of a dilapidated parish church than the likes of Westminster. I'm afraid, having seen them, Cambridge are going to be sampling life in the Conference for some considerable time....Life's a punt, ain't it!

[Redraine]

what the hell is crepuscular?

La crepuscule - french for dusk when I was at school. He's right!

[garinda]

What does he mean the pies are served with 'mushy peas'?

Isn't it guacamole?

[Outback Ozzy]

funny I thought John Mullin played for Rotherham, has Paul said some'at to Johny C and brought him over to the red rose county. Not a bad report otherwise, if a little harsh 'bout their prospective of the match. A team that can grind out 1-0 wins whether home or away deserves to be TOP of the league.

[Henry Morton]

Originally Posted by Outback Ozzy

funny I thought John Mullin played for Rotherham . . .

. . . AND WHAT A GREAT THROUGH-BALL TO CRANEY - IT MUST HAVE BEEN AT LEAST 50 MILES.

Still, not a bad journalistic effort from the flatlands, and obviously full of barely-concealed admiration for our historic Club.

Can you imagine , O.O. , that the guy would have committed so much time and energy to writing about any other Conference club in this way ?
Highly unlikely, I'd say - mainly because there's nowt much to say about most of them !

[entwisi]

I can find out if you like, any particular club you would like to hear about?