Oi! Liner

[Oggy]

It was a pleasure to welcome all the refugees from the Clayton End into our shed last night. Spot of rain, and suddenly you think you're Disprins . (You're a very excitable lot, aren't you, and why not?)

Anyway just thought I'd let you into the etiquette of cajoling a liner (linesman, assistant referee). This is something us on Whinney Hill have been working on for many years, and, how can I express this, shall we say the balance was slightly upset last night.

1. Try to engage him with humour
2. Support Leam in his dialogue with the liner, but dont be afraid to shout, "Leave it Leam", Leam does know what he's doing but can get a bit theatrical at times. (Nice game last night BTW)
3. Be familiar with the "Offside Rules", it does help, and they have changed in the last few years. e.g. when the ball goes through to Rob there is no need for a flag, look towards Welchy, he will have checked that the liner had seen it, a good liner will nod or mouth agreement. He did last night, but it was rather drowned in a sea of needless abuse.
4. Try and engage him with humour, similar to point 1, but the match is half an hour old and he's made a few mistakes, just remind yourself that despite appearences he's human underneath.
5. It's the second half now and Toddy is on our touchline, we need a slightly different approach here. The liner, if he's half decent, will recognise Toddy's whole-heartedness and he will usually get the benefit of the doubt. If things get heated they both need distracting. Toddy, because he believes in justice, and the liner because he'll follow one bad decision with another to spite Toddy.
6. It's more complicated than you think, a liner has many decisions to make, involving intricate thought processes and an unnerving need to "get things right".
7. By this stage you know how bad he is, but still you bite your tongue. Think about it, if you call him anything, and they've heard it all, what's he going to do. Think,(a) "yes, they're right", and flag a penalty at the first opportunity; or (b) "it's marginal that, let's give it to the Reds". I would say (c). Got it?
8. Try and engage him with humour, it may be worth a consolation goal, or a dodgy winner.
9. There's a minute to go, he's been utterly useless, just remember, he'll be back!
10. If the humour worked in the first place you'll have probably not noticed the liner, yes he'll still get things wrong, but don't we all.

In all my years on this planet, I've never known calling someone an "F", "C", "B" or any other capital letter make them change their mind, why should it be different at a football match.

Sometimes to help your team, even in the slightest possible way, it helps to engage your brain . Cart On Stanley .

[Bradshaw Boy]

I remember Eric having his own particular brand of etiquette when he used to stand over there.

[John_Timmins]

heheheh seems wimps who cant stand the rain have a lot to learn....a) stand on the Clayton end and shout what you like at the liner (he cant hear you)

or

if you are too wimpy to stand in the rain be nice to him it will pay dividends

love it oggy!!! sounds like youve got your jobs sorted....who plays bad cop who plays good cop???

[Give us the old gree]

Originally Posted by Bradshaw Boy

I remember Eric having his own particular brand of etiquette when he used to stand over there.

I wish he would go back over their !!!!! some of his rants in the main stand are laughable to say the least

[Oggy]

Originally Posted by Give us the old gree

I wish he would go back over their !!!!! some of his rants in the main stand are laughable to say the least

Tell us more, I can't afford the 3 quid.

[Kiwi John]

Lovely post that OGGY.

[Oldgobbin]

Hear hear. Great post!

[Wynonie Harris]

Originally Posted by Kiwi John

Lovely post that OGGY.

Yeah, it is a nice post; made me chuckle quite a bit. However, John, I feel that when you finally make it to the Field of Dreams, you will find the heady atmosphere of the Clayton End makes it your true spiritual home!

[southernred]

Oggy,

SUPERB POST!!!

Can you do a NVQ course in this and take as first students the gatemen and their friends who stand on the opposite diagonal to you ( near the dressing room).

Its no wonder we never get anything from lino's on this side as they constantly abuse him for 90mins.

Another "classic" from Tueday night was to Shaun Whalley, "ur Bl**dy useless" and 30 seconds later he scored the winner!!

Apologises to this fine band of ladies and gents, your contributions to the club are magnificent BUT please take a leaf out of Oggy's book and humour the officials.

[Redraine]

Oggy, you're obviously a man of great wit, wisdom, culture and diplomacy. Were you ever an ambassador in real life?

[lancsdave]

I wish there a few of you around when I used to do the line on the North West Counties League Oggy. I often thought of taking my Dad to all the matches to prove them wrong about my parentage

[Kiwi John]

Originally Posted by Wynonie Harris

Yeah, it is a nice post; made me chuckle quite a bit. However, John, I feel that when you finally make it to the Field of Dreams, you will find the heady atmosphere of the Clayton End makes it your true spiritual home!

When I do get to the Hallowed Turf (and I will oneday) I intend to be no where else but the Clayton end,shouting,singing,swearing,abusing etc and generally making a complete cock of myself,or as some might say, confirming it. (Bannana doing a haka.)

[Oggy]

Originally Posted by Redraine

Oggy, you're obviously a man of great wit, wisdom, culture and diplomacy. Were you ever an ambassador in real life?

No, it's just my scouse birthright shining through .

[Redraine]

I take it all back then.

[Jimbo T Hornblower]

Is it me or am I the only one who thinks sod that? You seriously think 'humouring' a linesman is going to make decisions go our way??!!! TOSH!!!

So if it doesnt make any difference why be nice?? They chose the job and all the crap that comes with it....

Jimbo T blower