Come on lettie - Page 3

lettie · 09-05-2004, 15:22

I returned to Auckland to spend my final weekend in NZ with my family, and I also had a little job to do. My Dad had bought a Stanley shirt for a fella that he met in NZ last April. So I had to go to his house and have the official presentation of the shirt. He's a big fella is Brian, and the shirt didn't fit, so he has hung it on his living room wall along with lots of other English football memorabilia. The last photos from NZ are of Brian and his new favourite shirt, and of my step-brother, sister in law and nephew being very patriotic on Rugby World Cup Final night. We attended a big party that night, as the game didn't start until 10pm over there, we were all well oiled and face painted. Great atmosphere with a good mixture of Poms, Kiwis and Aussies. I didn't want to come home...

lettie · 09-05-2004, 17:21

When I left Auckland, I flew to Sydney to get a connecting flight to Bangkok. By this time, I was absolutely dreading Bangkok, for a couple of reasons. Some Americans I met in Hong Kong, had just come from Bangkok and hated it, and the rest of my holiday had been so brilliant and disaster free (and I always have at least one crisis) that I reckoned that something was bound to go wrong. When I arrived, it was late at night and the airport is pretty grim. The roads were packed with traffic, the taxi had no rear seatbelt and the driving reckless! When I arrived in the city, Christmas lights were cascading down from the rooftops of all the tall buildings, it looked spectacular, my hotel was fabulous, so this cheered me up no end. My hotel was directly across the road from a skytrain station, so first thing in the morning, I hopped on the skytrain and went to explore the river. The Chao Phraya River is Bangkok's main artery, and it's quite relaxing cruising up here in a river taxi. Bangkok is meant to be viewed from the river, the grand buildings lining the banks of the Chao Phraya, temples, Chinatown, Grand Palace and shopping complexes can all be accessed from the river. Here's a couple of views from the river taxi.

lettie · 10-05-2004, 13:29

You can't visit Bangkok without a visit to The Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaeo (the Temple of the Emerald Buddha) Easily accessible by water taxi, I decided to take a trip there. On the boat I met an American couple (Robert and Penny), who decided that it was unsafe for a lass to be on her own in Bangkok, so they came with me. Wat Phra Kaeo is the holiest of all the temples here, and is always crowded with worshippers and visitors. Photography is not allowed inside the temple and the guards have guns, so I wasn't arguing. The Emerald Buddha is a tiny little statue, and can barely be seen from the entrance to the temple. It's impossible to get close to it, as hundreds of people are on the floor praying. Later that day, I visited Suan Lumphini (Lumphini Park) A lovely green space in the middle of this highly polluted, noisy city. I just sat for 2 hours watching the world go by. All in all, I enjoyed Bangkok. The people are friendly and polite, the food is excellent and I did nothing but eat all the time I was there. Transport is cheap and efficient, although the tuk tuks are highly dangerous. The deadliest thing in this city is trying to cross the road. On my last day, I'm ashamed to say that I did nothing but doss by my hotel pool with a drink in one hand, and my unread book which I had fetched with me in the other. The petite Thai people are quite a contrast to the huge Samoan people of NZ. I was starting to feel like Gulliver, so I came home....

Here are some shots of Wat Phra Kaeo and the little pagoda in Suan Lumphini.

Tealeaf · 10-05-2004, 13:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by lettie

"although the tuk tuks are highly dangerous."
.

Who or What are "Tuk Tuks?".......

a) Hot mints?

b) Thai condoms

c) Ricksaw Bikes

d) Men dressed as women (or vice versa)

e) Ferral monkeys

Please explain, Lettie........

lettie · 10-05-2004, 13:56

Tuk Tuks are motorised 3 wheeler death traps. If you are offered a cheap tuk tuk, the driver will take you where you want to go.... eventually. Your journey will be via his family/friends shop.

Tealeaf · 10-05-2004, 14:04

My mate got offered one of those, but he misheard and he was'nt too happy spending an hour down the driver's in-laws cake shop....

Sparkologist · 10-05-2004, 19:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by lettie

Tuk Tuks are motorised 3 wheeler death traps.

Panto time - Oh no they're not!!! They are great fun. Do you want to hear a confessional about the time Roy, Wingy & Sparky nearly burn't one out whilst joyriding in Dongguan?

lettie · 10-05-2004, 19:36

Oooooh.... Step into the confessional and tell us what you did..

WINGY · 10-05-2004, 20:03

hehehehehehehehehehe
Go on sparkie tell all

Sparkologist · 10-05-2004, 20:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by WINGY

hehehehehehehehehehe
Go on sparkie tell all

Only if you coroborate the story with a photo or two, to prove that it's not just a fig-leaf of my imagination

Give me a few minutes to dig up the e-mail

WINGY · 10-05-2004, 20:09

Will try but the photos are really bad, and the video clips are even worse!

lettie · 10-05-2004, 20:11

Who cares if the photos are bad.... C'mon spill the beans..

Sparkologist · 10-05-2004, 20:37

This is a copy of an e-mail sent to Workmates, Curly, at Xinxiang in the cold north of China, whilst we were sunning ourselves down south, in Dongguan. Curly had a good idea of what to expect because he has worked in China many times.

It is almost verbatim, just the names have been adjusted to protect the innocent? and a dead funny but very politically incorrect comment has been removed, so as not to offend some of the more unfortunate members of our society...

Title:Whoops. Oh dear!

Ne hao Curly & Co.

As you may have guessed from the title, we have had a little problem out here. Luckily, it didn’t occur at the factory. Unluckily, it might have cost one of the locals his livelihood. Father, forgive us, for we have sinned. Yep, it’s confessional time.

It goes something like this. On the way home from work, on Saturday evening, we got the Ne Hao Bus, (that’s another story), to drop us at Whoa-Mah, that's Wal-Mart yo you. This meant that we were left to our own devices regarding the journey to New World Gardens. On exiting the store, Wingy suggested getting 3 motorbike taxis. TUK-TUK, screamed Roy, in reply, as he legged it after the driver, to make sure no-one else beat us to it. Our bargaining / haggling technique needs brushing up, because we could only get him down to 15 bananas, which is about 3 ‘nanas over the odds. A look of abject terror spread across his mush when he realised that all 3 of us were fighting like the Three Stooges to shoehorn ourselves onto the bench seat under the canvas lid, not neglecting the fact that non of the Stooges were ever as fat as Roy! (Sorry, Royski. Hehehe.)

It was like a scene from a Jimmy Bond film, as we accelerated? more like chugged our way across the pavement. Bodies were diving out of the way in all directions. Probably they were falling over and dying laughing! We made mighty damn fine sure we got our ‘nanas worth of a journey coz he didn’t know that he would be lugging over 40 stone of finest English brawn up the road. It was not possible to benchmark a 0-60 time, and even 1st to 2nd gear took a calendar month. We were partaking in the Wacky Races, once again. This time, we were riding shotgun on the Arkansas Chuggaboom. How many near misses and potential prangs we caused, as a result off double takes, we can only guess at.

If it moved, and was within earshot, it received a raucous ‘Ne Hao’! If we thought it was out of earshot, we just pumped up the volume, and gave it NE HAO! It was a good crack reaching out and tapping the bike riders on their tin-lids when they pulled alongside, at a junction, and offering to race them to the next set of lights. Turning was a dodgy affair. We soon adopted a motorcycle sidecar, ‘lean into the bend’, system to totter round corners in comparative safety. The man at the helm just kept looking round and laughing at us, thinking we were having a wail of a time, not wrong there fella.

Not why, but, how did the chicken cross the road? Answer, a damn sight faster than we did! Imagine the crossroads outside the Regal Hotel, in Nanchang. Imagine it again, but BIGGER. Four lanes on each carriageway, intersecting, with us stuck in the middle coz Sirry Pirrock up front thought it would be fun to run a red light, Holy Samosas! It was like being stuck on the starting grid at a motorbike GP, but facing the wrong direction. The cheeks of my ars* were gripping the back of my kecks, that’s for sure. During the age that it took to cross the junction, I had converted to Christianity, repented my sins and said the Lord’s Prayer.Twice! At this point, the Lord intervened, and punished Sirry Pirrock for putting our necks on the block. The Arkansas Chuggaboom started to chug more, and boom less, then it developed a death rattle. We were stuck in lane 3 with traffic tearing us up from both sides, and as it pulled like a slug to reach the kerbside, the death rattle began to sound like a ....... ...... . .... .. . .......!

We began to feel slightly guilty that we had maybe seen off his engine, then we realised that he had already had us sideways over a barrel with his extortionate rate of 15 ‘nanas. Being the kind and generous souls that we are, we each coughed up 10 ‘nanas, which somehow ended up as 26 ‘nanas. As we made our way home, pied a terre, we looked back to see Sirry Pirrock limping his tuk-tuk back to town, listening to it cough and splutter like Tommy when he had run out of fags.

Laugh? I nearly wee’d my knicks! It’s sh**, is China! I hope you're enjoying it as much as we are...Sparky.

lettie · 10-05-2004, 20:45

You never told me that one at the meet up Wingy. Do you have piccies????

WINGY · 10-05-2004, 21:05

i have 1 of the motor but the light id really bad, will see if i can brighten it up, have some vid clips and you can hear it die'ing, at 1 point a woman passes us on a push iron!!!