The winter is doing my head in.
I keep getting e-mails from my sister in Brisbane telling me how hot it has been there.....and I feel sorry for her I really do. I promised that if I could I would send her a large bucket of cold Lancashire rain to dangle her toes in.
Speaking of rain, there has been a lot of that wet stuff around.
It has made the path up to Ma's house like a bog, a quagmire, a slutch pit.
We have had to be really careful going up with her food and washing.
The mud is so thick it makes that awful sucking sound when you lift your feet out of it.
Ma recently had a new boiler fitted. This meant that for a while the gas was turned off, the electric too.
On that morning I called in at Greggs and bought her a bacon barm and a Latte.
She really enjoyed it, so we have got into the habit of taking her breakfast up a couple of times during the week.
Yesterday I did Ma's banking and her bills.
I rang her from town and asked if she wanted a bacon butty and coffee 'Ooh yes' was her delighted reply.
That was all we had to take up...well, the receipts for the bills I had paid too.
I carried the coffee up the hill and himself had the bacon butty in a paper bag.
Whe I got out of the car I almost said to him 'let's put the bacon butty in a plastic bag in case it gets dropped'....but I didn't.
I was well ahead of himself going up the hill.
Concentrating on watching where I put me feet...hot coffee in one hand, heavy handbag in the other.
I was almost at Ma's door when I heard a plaintive little cry.
'Margaret, can you help me?'
When I looked round, there was himself spread-eagled face down in the mud. The bacon butty was in the mud too.
He looked like Al Jolson, all blacked up to sing 'Mammy'.....his hat was off,his glasses were gone and he looked a right sample.
I went to try and help him to his feet, but the thick mud made it very hard for me to get any kind of ground purchase so that I could help him.
Luckily the postman was just coming up the hill and he came to our rescue.
We went in to see Ma.......I dusted her bacon butty off(in truth there wasn't much mud on the butty,it was mostly on the bag.
My mistake, when I went to try and help himself to his feet was to ask after the health of the bacon barm instead of asking him if he was hurt.
When we went in the house he was bleating about how I was more concerned about the bacon butty than I was about him.
And do you know what? He sulked all afternoon about that.
It could have been far far worse I could have pee'd my pants with laughing at the sample he looked as he tried to get up from the mud.
His pride was hurt, his right arm and shoulder were a bit painful too, but he wouldn't have any painkillers until just before bed last night.
We didn't visit Ma today....I think next time we go, I will leave him in the car and go up on my own.
Ps...his glasses were broken....the lens had plopped out. I tried to put it back in but the frame was broken so it is being superglued until he can get a new pair - he says that Ma is paying!
PPS - I will know if you lot out there are laughing at this.
I keep getting e-mails from my sister in Brisbane telling me how hot it has been there.....and I feel sorry for her I really do. I promised that if I could I would send her a large bucket of cold Lancashire rain to dangle her toes in.
Speaking of rain, there has been a lot of that wet stuff around.
It has made the path up to Ma's house like a bog, a quagmire, a slutch pit.
We have had to be really careful going up with her food and washing.
The mud is so thick it makes that awful sucking sound when you lift your feet out of it.
Ma recently had a new boiler fitted. This meant that for a while the gas was turned off, the electric too.
On that morning I called in at Greggs and bought her a bacon barm and a Latte.
She really enjoyed it, so we have got into the habit of taking her breakfast up a couple of times during the week.
Yesterday I did Ma's banking and her bills.
I rang her from town and asked if she wanted a bacon butty and coffee 'Ooh yes' was her delighted reply.
That was all we had to take up...well, the receipts for the bills I had paid too.
I carried the coffee up the hill and himself had the bacon butty in a paper bag.
Whe I got out of the car I almost said to him 'let's put the bacon butty in a plastic bag in case it gets dropped'....but I didn't.
I was well ahead of himself going up the hill.
Concentrating on watching where I put me feet...hot coffee in one hand, heavy handbag in the other.
I was almost at Ma's door when I heard a plaintive little cry.
'Margaret, can you help me?'
When I looked round, there was himself spread-eagled face down in the mud. The bacon butty was in the mud too.
He looked like Al Jolson, all blacked up to sing 'Mammy'.....his hat was off,his glasses were gone and he looked a right sample.
I went to try and help him to his feet, but the thick mud made it very hard for me to get any kind of ground purchase so that I could help him.
Luckily the postman was just coming up the hill and he came to our rescue.
We went in to see Ma.......I dusted her bacon butty off(in truth there wasn't much mud on the butty,it was mostly on the bag.
My mistake, when I went to try and help himself to his feet was to ask after the health of the bacon barm instead of asking him if he was hurt.
When we went in the house he was bleating about how I was more concerned about the bacon butty than I was about him.
And do you know what? He sulked all afternoon about that.
It could have been far far worse I could have pee'd my pants with laughing at the sample he looked as he tried to get up from the mud.
His pride was hurt, his right arm and shoulder were a bit painful too, but he wouldn't have any painkillers until just before bed last night.
We didn't visit Ma today....I think next time we go, I will leave him in the car and go up on my own.
Ps...his glasses were broken....the lens had plopped out. I tried to put it back in but the frame was broken so it is being superglued until he can get a new pair - he says that Ma is paying!
PPS - I will know if you lot out there are laughing at this.
New bins are very expensive,as i discovered after me eye-test this morning.
