The wedding thing.

M

Margaret Pilkington

Beacon of light
Overlooker
I was talking about the break up of the marriage of my great niece and her husband the other day....and how flash their wedding was....not that that has any bearing on the break up......but I don't think our wedding cost us much above thirty quid.......OK, OK. I know it was 42 years ago and you got more for your money then(we earned less though, so I suppose that cancels out that argument).

My whole wedding outfit cost a grand total of twelve pounds...suit, shoes, blouse and hat.
Someone who I had worked with made me six buttonholes......I didn't have a bouquet.
The whole of the wedding party travelled in one taxi up to the register office in Haslingden....that cost three quid. My wedding ring was six quid....... and yes it IS gold.
It cost seventeen and sixpence to get married, so there was change from a pound.
We didn't have a reception - we had cheese butties, a battenburg cake, and a bottle of bubbly that had been left from the wedding of the daughter of a friend......the same lady also baked an extra tier of wedding cake, but that was cut at the factory party and distributed to all my shift mates....so there was none of that left on the actual day of the wedding.
We got married on the Monday, hubby had the following day off and we had a day trip to Blackpool on the bus....then he went back to work.
You could say that we did it all on a shoe string.
Over the years my hubby has asked many times if I didn't feel like I missed out....the answer is always the same 'No'.....the ceremony was all that mattered......we couldn't afford the flash stuff and all the flash stuff doesn't guarantee that things will last.
I haven't even got any wedding photo's......but it doesn't matter....I can relive the event in my head if I want to.
The memories I have are of it raining very hard, and me putting up my umbrella and getting covered in confetti....some wag had thought that was a neat trick.......of all my shift mates turning up at the registry office....before then going on to do a shift at the mill.

On the couple who have split up....it seems like there is little chance of them healing the rift.......the girl and her baby have gone back to her parents(who are saddened beyond belief....and really want to do the guy bodily harm)the house has a 'for sale' sign in the garden....so it is looking pretty final.......although you can never say never.
I know form experience that fate is a funny thing.

And yes, Cashy.....you are right, the only people who know exactly what has gone on inside this marriage are the young people involved.
 
You have answered a very important question of mine Margaret.Me n the other half want to get married at some stage but cant afford much at all,i have been fighting myself whether to wait and have lots of people there,a proper honeymoon,expensive dresses etc, but you have shown me that it doesn't guarantee anything more in life but its just for show.....Corker doesn't mind just having a small do in a few months whereas i was the one that wanted the fairytale wedding in a couple of years, but now i realise its how we feel that means the most.Thankyou xXx
 
Misskitty....If i had to do everything over again I wouldn't change a thing. The day is only special if you are 'special' to each other.....no amount of money can engineer those special feelings.

Another very important point, and something that couples fail to appreciate is........marriage has to be a joint effort, it has to be worked on, it has to be maintained.
Some people feel that 'you don't run for the bus once you have caught it'...if you get my drift, but this attitude is wrong.
Never stop caring........and whatever problems you have (and every marriage has them at some time or another) talk about them and share your feelings......don't badmouth one another....those word you say in an angry moment live on forever, and are more painful than any physical hurts.
Marriage guidance lecture over.
 
margaret you are so right, the size of the wedding/do dont matter one jot, had buggar all meself, the "do" was at the late mum-in-laws council flat, had sod all but second hand furniture, lasted 29 yrs till death do us part,mostly good. its all about couples workin together. NOT GOODS.
 
Mine didn't cost a lot either. We were very young and setting up house at the same time.
I got married in a registry office.

We didn't even plan a honeymoon, but someone paid for a night in a hotel for us at the reception..( which was a lovely gesture )

I would not change that day for anything. Like margaret has said, it does not show how much you love each other by splashing out on a expensive day. Its the following years that count, not that one day.
 
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